Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three

adult’s role is to “teach children limits with love or the world will teach them without it.

As parents and grandparents, we think that we are showing children that we love them by giving them things. In fact such practice, in and of itself, may send them the wrong message. Children may conclude that if people give you things, they love you. If receiving things tells you that you are loved, the next logical step is to measure self-worth by what you have, not by what you are. The reality is that very young children can only truly love one doll, one stuffed animal, and a few toys at a time. This experience provides a basis for adult life where one must learn to cherish one spouse, one family, one life, instead of fantasizing that it is possible to “have it all.” What

Parents in the early half of the twentieth century were primarily concerned with the development of character in their children. They wanted to be certain that their children were ready to cope with adversity, for it was surely coming to them one day whether in personal or national life. The development of character involves self-discipline and often sacrifice of one's own desires for the good of self and others. Montessori education, developed in this historical period, reflects this emphasis on the formation of the child's character. However, parents today are more likely to say their primary wish for their children is that they be happy. In pursuit of this goal they indulge their children, often unconsciously, to a degree that is startling to previous generations. All parents need to remember that true happiness comes through having character and discipline, and living a life of meaningful contribution -- not by having and doing whatever you wish.

How are we to help? We need to become aware of all the ways in which we hold the child back from becoming a fully functioning human being: the sink and counter that she cannot reach, the mirror that is too high for her to see herself, the chair that is too big for her to sit comfortably in...the pants that are too tight for her to pull up and down...

After you have demonstrated a practical-life exercise, and once your child has begun to use it with concentration, you must take care not to interrupt him.

Practical-life activities keep fifteen-month-olds at the leading edge of their skill development, building their intelligence, deepening their concentration, and giving them a new appreciation of their expanding capabilities. In

After you have planned each detail of an activity, organized a tray of materials, and practiced with them, you can model a cycle of activity with the child. Do so very slowly and methodically, pausing briefly after each step. Your child wants to imitate you but his thinking skills are limited. He relies on habit, pattern and repetition.

Because the materials selected for a specific purpose such as food preparation are set on a tray in order and sequence of use, from left to right and top to bottom, the child mentally incorporates this precise order it becomes part of his functional intelligence

To prepare any activity for the child, it is necessary for the parent to think through every detail ahead of time. For example, is the cracker stiff enough to spread the peanut butter on or does it crumble with the pressure of spreading?...All of these difficulties become apparent in the preliminary practice period by the adult prior to a presentation to the child.

Montessori called the child under six years old "a sensorial explorer" and based her educational approach for the child's early years upon the child's learning through the senses.

novelty to keep babies busy so that they are not unhappy and bothering us. Babies seek novelty to learn something previously not known by them about their world; as such it is a key characteristic and has a purpose. Too often, adults are completely thoughtless in what they give to infants, as if “any old thing” would do. If we want to give our babies an optimal environment, we need to think through the purpose of all that we give

We have said that the human infant is incomplete at birth. It is our role as adults to assist our children in the formidable task of finishing their own formation as human beings.

Montessori stated that nothing should be given to the brain that is not first given to the hand. By this she meant that abstract ideas and information of every possible kind should be given to the young child first in concrete form to be held, discovered, and explored.

Sadly we deprive fifteen-month-olds of such opportunities for work in the home or a homelike setting. Instead we give them a schedule of planned activities, expensive toys, television, and VCRs to keep their mind off their real needs.

the adult’s role is to “teach children limits with love or the world will teach them without it.

We cannot protect our children from life, but we can prepare them for life. We can teach our children to respect money and to choose their belongings and possessions with care. How much we can afford is not the issue. The issue is wastefulness and lack of thought about what we are given. Affluence implies responsibility and an understanding that surplus is for sharing with those who are less fortunate.

parents today are more likely to say their primary wish for their children is that they be happy. In pursuit of this goal they indulge their children, often unconsciously, to a degree that is startling to previous generations. All parents need to remember that true happiness comes through having character and discipline, and living a life of meaningful contribution—not by having and doing whatever you wish.

To educate is a great task but it is to put our personal effort at the service of the next generation for the benefit of all humanity. Our effort in education is what will be left of ourselves in life.

Our first responsibility to newborns in regard to sleep is to help them sleep through the night as soon as they are capable of doing so. For most babies this is possible when they are two to three months old. By sleeping through the night, we mean from approximately a ten o’clock evening feeding to a six o’clock morning feeding. It

She is happy because her opportunities for learning match her abilities.

by rushing about with our children without giving thought to their needs for developing focus or, equally damaging, by allowing them to become mesmerized in front of a TV or VCR, we destroy both their conscious attention and the development of the will. Parents

In addition to doing practical-life activities at home, many children by the time they are eighteen months old are ready to spend three hours a morning doing these (and other activities) in a setting outside their own home.

..you can share his pleasure in that achievement with a warm smile.

The needed materials for each specific activity are gathered together on a tray for the child. This preselection by the adult is necessary because, as we have noted, the child has an absorbent mind rather than a reasoning mind. Before the age of six, the child cannot reason through what materials he will need and know where to find them.