Quotes from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“I was a wonderful parent before I had children.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“When we give children advice or instant solutions, we deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Let us be different in our homes. Let us realize that, along with food, shelter, and clothing, we have another obligation to our children, and that is to affirm their “rightness.” The whole world will tell them what’s wrong with them—loud and often. Our job is to let our children know what’s right about them.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“The attitude behind your words is as important as the words themselves.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“The more you try to push a child's unhappy feelings away, the more he becomes stuck in them. The more comfortable you can accept the bad feelings, the easier it is for kids to leg go of them.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“It’s a bittersweet road we parents travel. We start with total commitment to a small, helpless human being. Over the years we worry, plan, comfort, and try to understand. We give our love, our labor, our knowledge, and our experience—so that one day he or she will have the inner strength and confidence to leave us.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Some children can tell you why they’re frightened, angry, or unhappy. For many, however, the question “Why?” only adds to their problem. In addition to their original distress, they must now analyze the cause and come up with a reasonable explanation. Very often children don’t know why they feel as they do. At other times they’re reluctant to tell because they fear that in the adult’s eyes their reason won’t seem good enough. (“For that you’re crying?”) It’s much more helpful for an unhappy youngster to hear, “I see something is making you sad,” rather than to be interrogated with “What happened?” or “Why do you feel that way?” It’s easier to talk to a grown-up who accepts what you’re feeling rather than one who presses you for explanations.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“نذرف الدموع أنا و أمي عندما تستحضر في ذهنها كيف كانت تحادثنا عندما كنا أطفالا، تقول: حينما أسمعك تتكلمين مع ابنك أخجل كيف كانت تحادثنا عندما كنا أطفالا."
(إحدى الرسائل التي أرسلها الآباء الذين استفادوا من الكتاب)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Once upon a time there were two seven-year-old boys named Bruce and David. They both had mother s who loved them very much.
Each boy's day began differently.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Sometimes just having someone understand how much you want something makes reality easier to bear. So”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“All we are given is possibilities— to make ourselves one thing or another. JOSÉ ORTEGA Y GASSET”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Living with real children can be humbling.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Children don’t need to have their feelings agreed with; they need to have them acknowledged.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Does my request make sense in terms of my child’s age and ability? (Am I expecting an eight-year-old to have perfect table manners?)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Does he feel my request is unreasonable? (“Why does my mother bug me to wash behind my ears? Nobody looks there.”)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Can I give her a choice about when to do something, rather than insisting upon “right now.” (“Do you want to take your bath before your TV show or right after?”)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Can I offer a choice about how something is done? (“Do you want to take your bath with your doll or your boat?”)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“To Engage a Child’s Cooperation 1. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE, OR DESCRIBE THE PROBLEM. “There’s a wet towel on the bed.” 2. GIVE INFORMATION. “The towel is getting my blanket wet.” 3. SAY IT WITH A WORD. “The towel!” 4. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU FEEL. “I don’t like sleeping in a wet bed!” 5. WRITE A NOTE. (above towel rack) Please put me back so I can dry.           Thanks!           Your Towel”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“وكان الدرس الذي تلقيته أنه ليس كافيا تقديم خدمة شفهية لمشاركة الولد فيما يشعر به، بل يجب أحيانا أن نمشي خطوة إضافية لنرى الأشياء من خلال عيونهم”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“كل إنسان يمكن أن يقرأ كتابا، و لكن يحتاج المرء إلى عزم شديد، وإلى أن يقف نفسه على دراسة كل كلمة في الصفحة كي يستطيع أن يستخدمها في التغلب على حزنه وغمه.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“It’s a bittersweet road we parents travel. We start with total commitment to a small, helpless human being. Over the years we worry, plan, comfort, and try to understand. We give our love, our labor, our knowledge, and our experience—so that one day he or she will have the inner strength and confidence to leave”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Steady denial of feelings can confuse and enrage kis. Also teaches them not to know what their feelings are--not to trust them.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Parents don’t usually give this kind of response, because they fear that by giving a name to the feeling they’ll make it worse. Just the opposite is true. The child who hears the words for what she is experiencing is deeply comforted. Someone has acknowledged her inner experience.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Living with real children can be humbling. Every morning I would tell myself, “Today is going to be different,”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“One father said that what helped him become more sensitive to his son’s emotional needs was when he began to equate the boy’s bruised, unhappy feelings with physical bruises.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“We say “please” to our children to model a socially acceptable way to make a small request. But “please” lends itself best to our more relaxed moments.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“There are youngsters who prefer no talk at all when they’re upset. For them, Mom or Dad’s presence is comfort enough. One mother told us about walking into the living room and seeing her ten-year-old daughter slumped on the sofa with tear-stained eyes. The mother sat down beside her daughter, put her arms around her, murmured, “Something happened,” and sat silently with her for five minutes. Finally, her daughter sighed and said, “Thanks, Mom. I’m better now.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

“Is there any way to explain the fact that sometimes my kids respond when I ask them to do something and sometimes I can’t seem to get through?”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Video

About the author

Popular quotes

“The danger of memory is that it can turn anyone into a prophet.”
― Anthony Burgess, quote from Earthly Powers

“You can run from some problems, but then you get caught up in others.”
― Simone Elkeles, quote from How to Ruin a Summer Vacation

“Though the face before me was that of a young woman of certainly not more than thirty years, in perfect health and the first flush of ripened beauty, yet it bore stamped upon it a seal of unutterable experience, and of deep acquaintance with grief and passion. Not even the slow smile that crept about the dimples of her mouth could hide the shadow of sin and sorrow. It shone even in the light of those glorious eyes, it was present in the air of majesty, and it seemed to say: 'Behold me, lovely as no woman was or is, undying and half-divine; memory haunts me from age to age, and passion leads me by the hand--evil have I done, and with sorrow have I made acquaintance from age to age, and from age to age evil shall I do, and sorrow shall I know till my redemption comes.”
― H. Rider Haggard, quote from She

“[From Flowering Judas]

She is, her comrades tell her, full of romantic error, for what she defines as cynicism in them is merely 'a developed sense of reality'.”
― Katherine Anne Porter, quote from The Collected Stories of Katherine Anne Porter

“The need of one human being for the approval of his fellow humans, the need for a certain cult of fellowship - a psychological, almost physiological need for approval of one's thought and action. A force that kept men from going off at unsocial tangents, a force that made for social security and human solidarity, for the working together of the human family.
Men died for that approval, sacrificed for that approval, lived lives they loathed for that approval. For without it man was on his own, an outcast, an animal that had been driven from the pack.
It had led to terrible things, of course - to mob psychology, to racial persecution, to mass atrocities in the name of patriotism or religion. But likewise it had been the sizing that held the race together, the thing that from the very start had made human society possible.
And Joe didn't have it. Joe didn't give a damn. He didn't care what anyone thought of him. He didn't care whether anyone approved or not.”
― Clifford D. Simak, quote from City

Interesting books

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.