Adele Faber · 286 pages
Rating: (15.5K votes)
“I was a wonderful parent before I had children.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“When we give children advice or instant solutions, we deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Let us be different in our homes. Let us realize that, along with food, shelter, and clothing, we have another obligation to our children, and that is to affirm their “rightness.” The whole world will tell them what’s wrong with them—loud and often. Our job is to let our children know what’s right about them.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“The attitude behind your words is as important as the words themselves.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“The more you try to push a child's unhappy feelings away, the more he becomes stuck in them. The more comfortable you can accept the bad feelings, the easier it is for kids to leg go of them.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“It’s a bittersweet road we parents travel. We start with total commitment to a small, helpless human being. Over the years we worry, plan, comfort, and try to understand. We give our love, our labor, our knowledge, and our experience—so that one day he or she will have the inner strength and confidence to leave us.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Some children can tell you why they’re frightened, angry, or unhappy. For many, however, the question “Why?” only adds to their problem. In addition to their original distress, they must now analyze the cause and come up with a reasonable explanation. Very often children don’t know why they feel as they do. At other times they’re reluctant to tell because they fear that in the adult’s eyes their reason won’t seem good enough. (“For that you’re crying?”) It’s much more helpful for an unhappy youngster to hear, “I see something is making you sad,” rather than to be interrogated with “What happened?” or “Why do you feel that way?” It’s easier to talk to a grown-up who accepts what you’re feeling rather than one who presses you for explanations.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“نذرف الدموع أنا و أمي عندما تستحضر في ذهنها كيف كانت تحادثنا عندما كنا أطفالا، تقول: حينما أسمعك تتكلمين مع ابنك أخجل كيف كانت تحادثنا عندما كنا أطفالا."
(إحدى الرسائل التي أرسلها الآباء الذين استفادوا من الكتاب)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Once upon a time there were two seven-year-old boys named Bruce and David. They both had mother s who loved them very much.
Each boy's day began differently.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Sometimes just having someone understand how much you want something makes reality easier to bear. So”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“All we are given is possibilities— to make ourselves one thing or another. JOSÉ ORTEGA Y GASSET”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Living with real children can be humbling.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Children don’t need to have their feelings agreed with; they need to have them acknowledged.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Does my request make sense in terms of my child’s age and ability? (Am I expecting an eight-year-old to have perfect table manners?)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Does he feel my request is unreasonable? (“Why does my mother bug me to wash behind my ears? Nobody looks there.”)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Can I give her a choice about when to do something, rather than insisting upon “right now.” (“Do you want to take your bath before your TV show or right after?”)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Can I offer a choice about how something is done? (“Do you want to take your bath with your doll or your boat?”)”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“To Engage a Child’s Cooperation 1. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE, OR DESCRIBE THE PROBLEM. “There’s a wet towel on the bed.” 2. GIVE INFORMATION. “The towel is getting my blanket wet.” 3. SAY IT WITH A WORD. “The towel!” 4. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU FEEL. “I don’t like sleeping in a wet bed!” 5. WRITE A NOTE. (above towel rack) Please put me back so I can dry. Thanks! Your Towel”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“وكان الدرس الذي تلقيته أنه ليس كافيا تقديم خدمة شفهية لمشاركة الولد فيما يشعر به، بل يجب أحيانا أن نمشي خطوة إضافية لنرى الأشياء من خلال عيونهم”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“كل إنسان يمكن أن يقرأ كتابا، و لكن يحتاج المرء إلى عزم شديد، وإلى أن يقف نفسه على دراسة كل كلمة في الصفحة كي يستطيع أن يستخدمها في التغلب على حزنه وغمه.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“It’s a bittersweet road we parents travel. We start with total commitment to a small, helpless human being. Over the years we worry, plan, comfort, and try to understand. We give our love, our labor, our knowledge, and our experience—so that one day he or she will have the inner strength and confidence to leave”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Steady denial of feelings can confuse and enrage kis. Also teaches them not to know what their feelings are--not to trust them.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Parents don’t usually give this kind of response, because they fear that by giving a name to the feeling they’ll make it worse. Just the opposite is true. The child who hears the words for what she is experiencing is deeply comforted. Someone has acknowledged her inner experience.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Living with real children can be humbling. Every morning I would tell myself, “Today is going to be different,”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“One father said that what helped him become more sensitive to his son’s emotional needs was when he began to equate the boy’s bruised, unhappy feelings with physical bruises.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“We say “please” to our children to model a socially acceptable way to make a small request. But “please” lends itself best to our more relaxed moments.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“There are youngsters who prefer no talk at all when they’re upset. For them, Mom or Dad’s presence is comfort enough. One mother told us about walking into the living room and seeing her ten-year-old daughter slumped on the sofa with tear-stained eyes. The mother sat down beside her daughter, put her arms around her, murmured, “Something happened,” and sat silently with her for five minutes. Finally, her daughter sighed and said, “Thanks, Mom. I’m better now.”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
“Is there any way to explain the fact that sometimes my kids respond when I ask them to do something and sometimes I can’t seem to get through?”
― Adele Faber, quote from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Adele Faber
Born place: The United States
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“All things, even the deepest sorrow or the most profound happiness are all temporary. Hope is fuel for the soul, without hope, forward motion ceases.”
― quote from First Night of Summer
“She once told me of a night that fumed with escapes and was filled with bedsides reeking of ecstasy; she told me the stars cast not judgments, but blessings, knowing full well the disastrous outcomes of the deeds they cradled with the strings of their young hearts. She’d inhaled the night itself, those around her doing the same, and so all become one. No disharmony. No discordance. Nothing to shatter the cause; nothing to unearth the beauty. So as we together ascended that front porch, allowing the glow behind the blown-out windows and the odious steams plunder us from through the cracks...time forgot to distill us, and our steps became as silver as glass. I could no longer deny the boiling words of my blood: tonight would be the beginning of a very long road indeed.”
― Dave Matthes, quote from Sleepeth Not, the Bastard
“To attack is to believe you are mortal. Only mortals would believe anything has power over them.” �— Earth Sentinels”
― Elizabeth M. Herrera, quote from Earth Sentinels: The Storm Creators
“This choreography of ruin, the world breaking
like glass under a microscope,
the way it doesn’t crack all at once,
but spreads out from the damaged cavities.
Still for a moment it all recedes.
The backyard potatoes swell quietly
buried beneath their canopy of leaves.
The wind rubs its hands through the trees.”
― Ellen Bass, quote from Like a Beggar
“I was thinking - I'd like to fuck that smart mouth of yours and make you swallow my cum. ~Eric~”
― Courtney Lane, quote from The Sordid Promise
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