The Wild and Free Family: Forging Your Own Path to a Life Full of Wonder, Adventure, and Connection

The word “genius” means “giving birth to one’s joy.” In other words, our children are geniuses at what brings them the most joy.

Before we can connect with our kids, we have to calm them, which looks different for each child. Connection isn’t possible when our kids are upset or in the middle of an emotional cycle they can’t escape.

Children have enough authorities in their lives. That’s all most adults are to them. Kids don’t need parents who are skilled in correcting them. They need parents who are willing to connect with them.

When we respond badly in turn, we only widen the chasm even more, confirming their worst fears: that they aren’t loved, safe, accepted, or understood. By sending our children away, we tell them they don’t belong. By addressing only their outward behavior, we ignore their hearts. By shouting at them, we cause their bodies and brains to go into fight-or-flight mode. Their cortisol levels rise, making it even more difficult for them to respond in the way we desire. To be a parent is to be part nurturer, part negotiator. If we’re not careful, the tactics we use to “solve the problem” can make the situation more frustrating or even confusing.

It is years of soul work in the trenches of daily trial and error. But we're not building a house in two weeks. We're laying the foundation for a fortress that will withstand the harshest winds and the fiercest storms. We are building an estate of love that will serve as a safe haven for years to come.

The magic of this life isn’t found in the hustle and bustle of constant activity but in the intentional, ordinary decisions of our days.

We sacrifice their childhood on the altar of preparing them for adulthood. But what if childhood was the preparation? What if having a whole childhood was the key to a healthy adulthood?

The magic of this life isn't found in the hustle and bustle of constant activity but in the intentional, ordinary decisions of our days.

If anything can be said of our homes, may it be that they are safe places for our children. Places where they can be encouraged in their gifts and comforted in their struggles. Places where they can share their fears and express their sorrows. Places where they can be heard and known and taken seriously. We create a safe haven for our family because children thrive when they feel safe, but also because this is love.