It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self

When we judge others for what and how much they feel, it says more about our capacity to handle the emotions of others.

When we are not aware of what we care about and why, we lose the ability to create the life we want and to feel our best no matter the circumstances life presents.

Shame causes us to stay small, to shrink down. The mind of someone who has been burned more than once for exposing her authentic Self might say, Let’s just keep our Self as small and hidden as possible, so no one can hurt us. If we expand and reach out into the world to discover new things, we will get slammed down again. Play it safe by staying small and hidden away. And so we do.

healing is not just a desired outcome of treatment, it is a potential that is there from the start. We are wired to heal, to right ourselves, to grow and transform. This is not just a metaphor. It is what neuroplasticity is about.

After my parents died I went underground. I acted like I was the same, but I wasn’t. I realize I have been protecting myself from being hurt again for all these years. I have been terrified that anyone I love will die. Life has risks, but you have to take risks to live.” She took a deep long sigh.

Remind yourself that you are anxious and therefore it is not a good time to draw conclusions about the future until you are calm.

Ways to Work with Anxiety on Your Own 1. Get out of your head by turning all your attention to the soles of your feet. Feel the ground underneath them. 2. Practice your deep belly breathing. 3. Take a walk outside and observe the scenery. Name three colors, name three sounds, name three textures. 4. Remind yourself that you are anxious and therefore it is not a good time to draw conclusions about the future until you are calm. 5. Remind yourself that you are anxious and the feeling is temporary. 6. Focus on the anxious body sensations with compassion and curiosity—and without judgment—until they subside. Remember to breathe deeply as you focus. 7. Imagine a peaceful place or a time when you felt confident. 8. Imagine something soothing like beautiful music, or hot sun on your skin, or being hugged. 9. Do some exercise like jogging or yoga, or go to the gym.