“Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We’re supposed to be exercising.”
“Also, I think I felt something come loose back there. I'm not trying to overreact or anything but I think it was my uterus. Honest. I think my uterus jiggled free. My uterus is just going to come out between my legs and I'm going to look like I'm walking around with an enormous load in my pants.”
“They've arrested Sebastian! For m-murder! You've g-got to stop them! He d-didn't do it! He can't have done it! He doesn't believe in murder! He's a v-vegetarian!”
“I stare at her, as dumbstruck as if she'd just admitted she's a Scientologist with an invitation to join Tom and Katie on the spaceship when it shows up.”
“I don't want water!" Sarah cries, her face buried against my chest.
I can't see what's going on in the rest of the lobby beacuse Sarah's hair is flying up in my face, blocking my view.
I want justice!" she wails.
Well, we'll get you some of that too." Magda has appeared from out of nowhere. "Maybe there's some in the freezer.”
“Also, I think I felt something come loose back there. I'm not trying to overact or anything, but I think it was my uterus. Honest. I think my uterus jiggled free.”
“I'll just go at my own pace. Nice and easy. Here we go. There, see? I'm doing it. I'm running! Hey, look at me! I'm running! I'm-
Okay, well, that's enough of that. Whew. I mean, a girl could hyperventilate from doing that. And seriously, it's my first day. Don't want to overdo it.”
“Pizza Hut isn't real pizza," I tell them. "The way that balloon of Big Bird they fly in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade isn't the real Big Bird.”
“I’ll just go at my own pace. Nice and easy. Here we go. There, see? I’m doing it. I’m running! Hey, look at me! I’m running! I’m— Okay, well, that’s enough of that. Whew. I mean, a girl could hyperventilate from doing that. And seriously, it’s my first day. Don’t want to overdo it. Also, I think I felt something come loose back there. I’m not trying to overreact or anything, but I think it was my uterus. Honest. I think my uterus jiggled free. Is that even possible? I mean, could my uterus just come sliding out? I”
“...So please, be tolerant of those who describe a sporting moment as their best ever. We do not lack imagination, nor have we had sad and barren lives; it is just that real life is paler, duller, and contains less potential for unexpected delirium.”
“...και οι δυο λένε Σ'αγαπώ για να διώξουν τον φόβο, για να πεισθούν από τα λόγια για τα έργα, για να βεβαιωθούν ότι έχει επέλθει η πολυπόθητη κατάσταση, για να ξεγελάσουν τους εαυτούς τους με την ιδέα ότι δεν έχει παρέλθει ακόμη. Πρέπει να φυλαγόμαστε από τέτοιες χρήσεις. Το Σ'αγαπώ δεν πρέπει να βγαίνει στον κόσμο, να γίνεται νόμισμα, εμπορεύσιμη μετοχή, να μας αποφέρει κέρδη.”
“Moreover, I wish to assure you both that I did not make any amorous advances on female monkeys.”
“Man is a creature that can get accustomed to anything, and I think that is the best definition of him.”
“Standard Oil issued a cool response: “These men probably went insane because they worked too hard,” according to the building manager. And those who didn’t survive had merely worked themselves to death. Other than that, the company didn’t see a problem.”
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