“Hector? You call him Hector?”
“Well, I can hardly call out, ‘Agent Chavez, oo Agent Chavez,’ When he makes me climax, now can I?”
“Lee nodded, his smile somehow bigger like he was trying not to laugh then his eyes moved to Hector and he said, “I tried to stop it.”
Hector looked at Lee then looked at me then he muttered, “Oh fuck.”
“It was Ally’s idea,” Lee told Hector.
“What was Ally’s idea?” Hector asked Lee.
“It was not Ally’s idea!” I cried.
“It wasn’t!” super-power-eared Ally yelled from the open back window of Lee’s Explorer. “It was Sadie’s idea. I just was offering moral support.”
“Shut up, Ally!” Indy shouted out the open passenger side window.
“I will not shut up! I’m not taking the fall for this one!” Ally shouted back.”
“Well Buddy’s in the kitchen grating cheese like a grating fool. We’ve decided to do nacho’s. Ralphie’s gaze moved to Hector and he informed him, “It’s the food of your people.”
“And you think you can help me find my way?”
He shook his head, his eyes went warm and I got another neck squeeze, coupled with a tightening of his arm around my waist. “Mamita, only you can find your way. I just wanna be along for the ride.”
“I looked up at Lee when we stopped in front of Hector and informed him helpfully, “You might want to take your arm away. Blanca tells me Hector doesn’t like men touching me.”
“Blanca told you that?” Lee asked, his smile (and arm) still firmly in place.
“Yes. She’s known Hector, like, his whole life so I think she’s in the position to know.”
Lee nodded, his smile somehow bigger like he was trying not to laugh then his eyes moved to Hector and he said, “I tried to stop it.”
Hector looked at Lee then looked at me then he muttered, “Oh fuck.”
“It was Ally’s idea,” Lee told Hector.
“What was Ally’s idea?” Hector asked Lee.
“It was not Ally’s idea!” I cried.
“It wasn’t!” super-power-eared Ally yelled from the open back window of Lee’s Explorer. “It was Sadie’s idea. I just was offering moral support.”
“Shut up, Ally!” Indy shouted out the open passenger side window.
“I will not shut up! I’m not taking the fall for this one!” Ally shouted back.
I turned to the car, dislodging Lee’s arm and lifted both my hands and pressed down. “No one’s going to take a fall. Everyone calm down. It’s all okay. It’s rock ‘n’ roll!” I screamed.
“Righteous!” Ally screamed back.
“Rock on, sister!” Indy screamed too.
“It’s rock ‘n’ roll?” Lee asked, sounding as amused as he looked.
“You all wanna quit screamin’ at three o’clock in the mornin’ in my fuckin’ neighborhood?” Hector suggested.
Mm, well maybe we were being an eensy bit loud.
“Time for beddie by,” I announced (sounding like Ralphie), got up on tiptoe, kissed Lee’s cheek (like Ralphie and Buddy would do to me), turned and gave Indy and Ally a double devil’s horns (like Ava taught me) and shouted, “Rock on!”
They shouted back in unison, “Rock on!”
“Christ,” Hector muttered.”
“Sadie?"
"What?"
"You with me?"
I blinked in confusion and said, "Yes." And I was, wasn't I? I was standing in his arms for goodness sake.
"This is Sadie?" Hector went on.
I blinked again. "Yes."
"My Sadie?" he kept at it.
This time I blinked for a different reason.
His Sadie? Was there a Hector's Sadie? Was I Hector's Sadie? Did Hector think I was his Sadie?
Oh…my…God.
Before I could process what he said or get close to processing what that meant, I watched him smile, then he bent his head and kissed my lips.
"Yeah," he said, his face an inch away. "It's my Sadie.”
“I carried you to the Explorer and you couldn’t even hold your head up. You passed out in my lap after you told me there was no one to care if you woke up. I live to be a hundred, mamita, I’ll never forget it. Not one fuckin’ second of it.”
“Okay kids,” Ralphie said, trailing me. “Don’t be too late. Don’t do any drugs, drive smart and even if all the other kids are doing it, think twice. If you’re going to be over your curfew then make sure you call your Daddies or we’ll get worried.”
“I was beyond Ice Princess. I was Sorceress of the Antarctic and a bitchy one at that.”
“Life!' Vito exploded, making me jump. "Up and down, good and bad, birth and death, celebration and devastation. If you got any balls at all, you roll with the punches and get the fuck on with it, pardon my French”
“You were just a beautiful woman. Now you're my beautiful woman. What you got under your clothes is for me. No one else. They don't look. They don't touch. That's the deal. Yeah?"
I stared at him, speechless, which was a good thing because if I had words, I would have said them so loudly the neighbors would hear.
"Now," he went on, either not feeling or not caring about the badder than bad vibes emanating from me directly toward him, "go put on a tank."
That’s when I found my words.
"Maybe I should go put on my ragged white dress and stone necklace and you can put on your leopard skin tunic and we can pedal in our stone car to the roadhouse before you go bowling with Barney and I go shopping with Betty, Fred.”
“Looks to me like it sorted itself out. The girl’s been laid, my guess, fairly recently, guessin’ again, good and proper. Next problem!” I closed my eyes. Someone, please tell me that Shirleen didn’t just announce to the entire store that I’d been laid “good and proper”
“Oh Lord,” Shirleen groaned, sitting down. “First she wants to be a rock star now she wants to be a stripper.” Then she lifted her hand and snapped her fingers at no one in particular. “Somebody, get her another appletini before we gotta explain to Hector ‘Mr. Edge’ Chavez why his woman wants to strip.”
“His arm did a squeeze and his voice got softer. “I’m thinkin’ you need more time to get used to me. I’m okay with that, Mamita, take all the time you need.”
“Don’t you dare waltz uninvited into my gallery and disrespect me, my friends and my boyfriend. You do it again, I’ll drag you out of here by your hair. Got me?”
“Tex (wearing a tux, and not happy about it) boomed from across the room, “Roxanne Giselle Lo… I mean, Nightingale! When are those fuckin’ harpists gonna shut the fuck up and so we can get some rock ‘n’ roll?”
“Take hold of life and live it beautiful like she wanted you to do.”
“I know she’s in there and I’m warnin’ you, Sadie, I’m gonna pull her out.”
“No really," I whispered, letting the sweet, peaceful feeling steal over me. "It only matters if there's someone to care if you don't wake up. It's okay if I don't wake up because there's no one to care.”
“I stared at the doors and rewound the evening wondering how I got myself in this latest predicament. Without lemon drops to blame (I had diet with my spicy beef burrito), I could only blame the power tools. Now what normal girl got turned on by power tools? I was so weird!”
“Maybe I should go put on my ragged white dress and stone necklace and you can put on your leopard skin tunic and we can pedal in our stone car to the roadhouse before you go bowling with Barney and I go shopping with Betty, Fred. –Sadie”
“Don’t give a fuck if you’re hot, wet and panting or pissed as hell, you’re sleepin’ by me, in my bed, at home.” said Hector”
“And they were relieved they found me alive, well and none the worse for wear. They cared and they didn’t mind who knew it, not the hotel staff and customer onlookers, the police or the paramedics. Tough guys or not, I was one of them. I wasn’t Ms. Townsend anymore. I was Sadie, Rock Chick. How great was that?”
“The bartender’s eyes went beyond me to the Rock Chicks and he said, “Eleven screaming orgasms, comin’ right up.” Phew. All right, fine. That wasn’t so hard. I could do this. I could buy shots for the girls.”
“Tex's head snapped in my direction.
Fuckin' A, woman, you've never had a s'more? he boomed
I shook my head.
Christ, everyone's gotta have a s'more before they die. Fuck that shit, I'll build a fire in my backyard tonight and I'll stop by Kumar's on the way home to get the stuff. Everyone can come by-”
“I want you in my bed. I want you in my house. I wanna come home to you.”
“I will not be quiet. I cannot believe you’re moving to Greece. That’s… that’s insane.”
Now hang on a second!
“It’s not insane,” I shot back.
“It is! Who moves to Greece? Do you know a single soul who’s moved to Greece?” He didn’t give me a chance to reply before he continued, “No? Me neither. No one moves to Greece. Goes there. Yes. Gets laid. Definitely. Drinks ouzo. Lots of it. Gets a sunburn. Of course! But you don’t move there!”
“This means she’s mine. No one touches what’s mine. And they sure as fuck don’t beat her, rape her and leave her broken. Did you see her fuckin’ house?”
“I felt I was makin’ progress until yesterday morning. Now, you got some fucked up idea in your head about what happened and you gotta get this Sadie, so listen. It’s important. Because I want that girl. That’s who I’m doin’ all this for ‘cause that girl is the real you. The one who loses control and takes what she wants and gives back without racking up the debt. And she doesn’t give a fuck about what her actions say and what people will think.”
“It was Saturday evening and we were in the throes of a Veronica Mars marathon (season two DVD). I decided that when I left “Ms. Townsend, Ice Princess” behind, the New Sadie was going to be like Veronica Mars. She was plucky, cute as a button and she had a smart mouth.”
“I was the best thing that could have happened to him, it was the worst thing that could have happened to him.”
“Be honest: did you actually read [the above geometric proof]? Of course not. Who would want to?
The effect of such a production being made over something so simple is to make people doubt their own intuition. Calling into question the obvious by insisting that it be 'rigorously proved' ... is to say to a student 'Your feelings and ideas are suspect. You need to think and speak our way.”
“A lot of what we're doing here deals with perception rather than truth. Many would argue that reality depends more on the former than the latter.”
“The past is as important as the future, but we only live in the here and now.”
“We used to talk and smile seven days ago when I was wearing a suit. Now I'm dressed in a beard and smell of dog shit I don’t even get eye contact. I ask her how her week is going, and she looks to her friend behind the counter as if to say: I think this creep is hitting on me. Shall we call the police?”
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