Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me?

He says we should take it easy and that maybe he overreacted a bit." Dave said, "A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.

If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!

Everyone is so bloody keen on me thinking all of a sudden. It's not what I do.

P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs. P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.

As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.

Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on

How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?

He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.

Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.

I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?

I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe!

Hello, my sister, Libby, also your daughter, is snogging a potato in my bed. What are you going to do about it?' Dad started yelling uncontrollably. I wonder if he is having the male menopause? If he starts growing breasts, I will definitely be running away with the circus.