“It looked like GQ was having a convention and all the best looking guys had decided to have a coffee at Fortnum's before going to seminars on how to cope with being really, unbelivably, fucking gorgeous”
“I'm protecting what's mine."
...
"I'm not yours," I said.
"You're welcome to think that but it doesn't change the fact that you are.”
“Son, let me tell you something. Even if you don't care, pretend you do. Honestly, it's the best way to go," Dad, the voice of experience, decided to wade in. "She talks about toss pillows. You don't care about toss pillows. You don't even know what toss pillows are. Pretend that toss pillows are your highest priority in life.”
“She nodded, grabbed her purse out of the drawer and skedaddled, walking like she was on a catwalk, one foot in front of the other, her ass swaying under the skirt of her expensive, tailored suit.
Bitch. I thought again, watching her go.
“No comparison,” Luke said after the door closed behind Dawn and I turned to him.
“Excuse me?”
“Dawn’s a man eater. You’re not. No comparison,” Luke answered and I didn’t know how to take that.
“Is that good?”
The half-smile came back.
“Most men prefer to do the eating.”
Holy fucking cow.”
“Christ, don't go to the Haunted Houses with Ally and Indy. A few years ago, Indy went berserk and broke through the hay bales they had set up to make the haunted trail and headed into the cornfields. All the employees chased after her but since they were dressed like monsters, Indy lost her mind. They had to call the cops to settle her down."
I lost him at "cornfields".
"Cornfields?" I whispered.
"Yeah."
"They have a haunted trail through cornfields?"
"Yeah, up in Thornton. Best Haunted House in Denver. Indy and Ally go every year. Why?"
"Cornfields freak me out," I admitted.
Hank was silent.
Then, he said, "You're from Indiana. How in the fuck can cornfields freak you out?"
"Cornfields don't freak me out. Cornfields at night freak me out. Haunted cornfields at night freak me out."
"You been to many haunted cornfields?"
"Dude," I said low. "All cornfields are haunted. Trust me. I know... They whisper to you.”
“They say, if you care about something, you have to set it free and if it comes back to you, it was meant to be."
"They're full of shit."
Obviously, I failed spectacularly at being philosophical.”
“and then...
"It was like Fortnums was For Gorgeous People Only. They needed a sign so normal people wouldn't wander in unwittingly and develop immediate inferiority complexes.”
“I pulled out my cell, flipped it opened and said Hank’s name into the phone. It rang twice. “You okay?” he asked in greeting. “My life began when I met you,” I told him. There was a beat of silence. Then, I heard him say, “Sunshine –”
“Belonging to me doesn’t mean I’ll make you do anything, it just means I consider you mine for as long as this lasts. It means I protect you, it means I take care of you. For another man, it might mean something different. Don’t confuse me with another man”
“What?” I asked, deciding to go with uppity. “Enjoying yourself?” Hank asked, his mouth twitching. “No,” I said angrily. “I’m dead. Now I have to run all the way back to my lifeless body and get my stuff. The orcs and trolls will be hanging around and we’ll have to fight them and I can’t do that without my good armor. I’ll have to use the crappy stuff I have stashed in my trunk. I had a really good sword and helmet and now they’re gone. That just plain sucks.” Hank stared at me. Then he said, “You do know I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about.” “Diablo,” I replied, like that explained it all.”
“I'm going to take a shower. You're going to be good, try not to be sexy or freak me out or anything like that. I've got to concentrate, preparing for a formal party is serious business. I don't need distractions."
His eyes went half-mast and his half-grin appeared.
"You're doing it!"I accused.
His eyebrows went up.
I shook my head. "Never mind".
Then I stomped to the shower.”
“She can't wear that dress! It's indecent. Her ass is hangin' out."
...
"Son, take my advice, you gotta get this girl in hand. You can't let her run around with her ass hangin' out. You allow it once, she'll do it again. Trust me, I know.”
“I’m out of health potions. Retreat! Retreat! Give me some of your health potions!” I screamed. “I don’t have any potions. Run, bitch, run,” Brody squealed. The red ran out on my health and my assassin was transported, stripped of everything we’d earned, back to the starting camp. “I’m dead! Fuck, they killed me!”
“Jumpin’ Jehosafats, I think I just creamed my pants,”
Annette whispered, staring at Luke. Luke’s eyes locked on me. He lifted his hand and crooked his finger.
“I was wrong about before. Now, I’ve definitely creamed my pants,” Annette breathed.”
““Fuck! ” I shouted and everyone at the espresso counter looked over at us. “Half a million dollars?” Lee dropped his foot and turned to me. “Roxie, calm down.”
“Half a million dollars and he bought me cheese puffs and took me to that sleaze bag motel? I’m gonna fucking kill that motherfucker!” I yelled.
“Roxie –”
I slammed my fists on my knees. “The least he could have done was bind my wrists with VELVET ROPE. He sure could have afforded it. Stupid jerk.”
“It was like someone in a suit walked up to me and gave me a certificate, which stated “Roxanne Giselle Logan, Your Life is Fucked”.”
“You hear even a hint that a blizzard’s coming, Roxanne Giselle, you go straight to the store and buy toilet paper, you hear me? And make a pot of chili or stew. Don’t get caught out. I don’t want a phone call saying you starved to death, stuck in the house with no stew.”
“You can’t tel me I’m not breaking up with you when I’m breaking up with you!”
“Every girl would secretly want to be "the one" even though she might lie to herself that she did not.”
“Sweet Jesus! Sweet, sweet Jesus!” Mom called to the Savior, caught up in the divine intervention that was Hank and me.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Stop cal ing Jesus, Mom. Hank’s gonna think you’re weird,” I snapped.
“She is weird,” Dad said.
“I’m not weird,” Mom returned.”
“I was done with men. Totally and completely. I was looking forward to a life as a cat lady. I was going to get a dozen cats and a fucking great vibrator, maybe one of those rabbits I heard about, and that was it.”
“These boys need women who can take the heat without meltin’ like butter, and sometimes that heat is fiery. They need women who can give back their shit so they don’t walk all over ‘em and get bored out of their fucking skulls. And they need women who can go soft when the situation demands because they get hard knocks on a regular basis, sometimes literal y, and comin’ home to somethin’ soft is the only way to cope.”
“That’s what love’s all about, Roxanne. You
love someone, you trust them always to tel
you the truth.”
“I wil not calm down. My baby girl is moving halfway across the country.”
“She’s been moved away before,” Dad pointed out.
“Yeah, but that was with Billy. We all knew he wouldn’t work out. We’re talking about Hank here. Look at him,” she pointed to Hank.
“She’s never coming home. Never.”
“I feel like I’ve been waiting,” I said to Billy, looking at Hank. “Waiting for a long time, but I guess I know what you mean. My life began when I met him.”
“I’m not going to fucking calm down. I’m going to hunt that bastard down and murder
him.”
“Oh fuck,” Hank rocked back on his heels, his eyes went to the ceiling, his hands went to his hips.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothin’.”
“What?” I asked, louder.
His eyes came back to me. “You aren’t
huntin’ anyone down.”
“Wel … no,” I said, staring at him like he was crazy. “I was just saying that because I’m mad as hell. I wouldn’t begin to know how to hunt him down.””
“No, no, no. I'm gonna rip his dick off and shove it up his nose and parade him though the streets naked and dickless then cut his head off.”
“Sweetheart, look at me" Hank whispered.
I looked at him, he moved inside me and it felt delicious.
"Ït starts now" he told me.
I moved with him, i wasn't really focusing on what he was saying, mainly because it was building again and i could feel it coming.
"What starts now?" i asked.
You and me".
He moved faster, pressed harder, went deeper.
Good god.
"What?" i asked dazedly.
"You and me", he said again”
“I’m an idiot. I’m ten times an idiot. God, I could just die.” Then I forged ahead because the last comment was too close for comfort these days. “Not die die, as in not-breathing die, but die figuratively, if you know what I mean.” Lee was grinning.”
“The minute I saw you walk into Fortnum's I knew I'd do whatever it took to get you right where you are now. And I'm gonna do whatever it takes to keep you here for as long as both of us get something good out of it.”
“Everybody at a university was to her a professor, unless they were students of course, and therefore even worse.”
“إن الإحساس بالأمن القائم على وهم مقارنة الذات مع الغير، من منظور أنني أجمل من غيري، وأنا لدي مال أكثر، أو لدي وظيفة أفضل، أو أنني أعمل أكثر من غيري، هو إحساس زائفز كما أننا لا يضيع منا الأمن لمجرد أننا أقل وسامة، أو مالاً، او مكانة من شخص آخر. فهذا لا يبدو أمراً ذا أهمية. إن الإحساس بالأمن داخلنا يأتي من شعورنا بالكرامة الشخصية، والتوجه الصحيح نحو الشمال.”
“Did she struggle for life only out of habit, or because some part of her still hoped that there was something worth living for?”
“Just think of a safe location."
"Are there tennis balls in the soup?"
"Come on, be serious."
"A pear camping highway fire mask," he said, more intensely.
My heart rate, which had finally started slowing, sped up again.”
“He walked me to the door, and we stood on the top step. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he kissed me on the nose and said, “I’m glad I came back.” God, he was sweet.
“I’m glad you did, too,” I replied. “But…” I paused for a moment, gathering courage. “Did you have something you wanted to say?”
It was forward, yes--gutsy. But I wasn’t going to let this moment pass. I didn’t have many more moments with him, after all; soon I’d be gone to Chicago. Sitting in coffee shops at eleven at night, if I wanted. Working. Eventually going back to school. I’d be danged if I was going to miss what he’d started to say a few minutes earlier, before my mom and her cashmere robe showed up and spoiled everything.
Marlboro Man looked up at me and smiled, apparently pleased that I’d shown such assertiveness. An outgoing middle child all my life, with him I’d become quiet, shy--an unrecognizable version of myself. He’d captured my heart so unexpectedly, so completely, I’d been rendered utterly incapable of speaking. He had this uncanny way of sucking the words right out of me and leaving nothing but pure, unadulterated passion in their place.
He grabbed me even more tightly. “Well, first of all,” he began, “I really…I really like you.” He looked into my eyes in a seeming effort to transmit the true meaning of each word straight into my psyche. All muscle tone disappeared from my body.
Marlboro Man was so willing to put himself out there, so unafraid to put forth his true feelings. I simply wasn’t used to this. I was used to head games, tactics, apathy, aloofness. When it came to love and romance, I’d developed a rock-solid tolerance for mediocrity. And here, in two short weeks, Marlboro Man had blown it all to kingdom come.
There was nothing mediocre about Marlboro Man.”
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