“So we can be friends, right?”
Wait, what?
I stare at her, a frown forming at my mouth.
Did I..? Did I just get Friend-zoned?”
“Some days are just hard and you want to go asleep and wake up a week from now knowing the problem is gone. Everyone feels like that once in a while.
Life can be overwhelming.”
“You're it. The one. The start. The finish. You are how my story ends.”
“Fuck off, Beyoncé. There’s no such thing as angels. No one wears a halo. And if they do it’s only to disguise the pointed horns that sit atop their heads.”
“He chuckles and says, "Finally. More than friends." I put on the most serious face I can muster and offer, "yeah, more than friends...Best friends forever!”
“.« Nik has obviously spoken to Nat about my candy preferences.
Written in raspberry bullets is ‘I’m sorry’.
Written in green apple jellybeans is ‘I miss you’.
Written in cherry jellybeans is ‘I love you’.
My heart skips a beat at the last line.
Written in gummy bears is ‘Marry me’.
Did Nik just propose using candy?
Why, yes, brain. Yes, he did. »”
“You’re pussy whipped.”
I claim, “I can’t be pussy whipped. I haven’t even had the pussy to be whipped!”
Take that, Ghost! Oh wait…
He chuckles, “That’s even worse, bro.”
Fuck me, it totally is.”
“A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.”
“I don't need a perfect relationship. I just need someone who won't give up on me.”
“He says softly, "I don't just want you in my dreams, baby. Been wanting you a long while."
fiddle sticks
I whisper, "Niki."
He puts his lips close to mine and breathes deep, "You're all I think about." I feel the tingles start in my in my nose. A sure sign I'm going to bawl. "Stop."
But he just keeps coming with the sweet, "I thought I needed a woman like you. Turns out I just needed you."
My breath hitches. "Stop."
What he says next melts my frozen heart.
"You're it, Tina."
I no longer have doubts
My heart skips a beat and I whisper fiercely, "I want to kiss you. Real bad.”
“10:16am
Thinking about Tina.
11:04am
Thinking about Tina’s perfect ass.
12:37pm
Thinking about Tina panting under me in bed.
1:02pm
Going to the bathroom to jerk off.
I walk back into my office after finally getting some much needed relief.
Not hard anymore, are you?! Take that, penis!”
“I’d rather shit on my hands and clap.”
“And when I bake for someone, I give them a little part of myself. It's like giving someone a part of my hear every time."
I look up thoughtfully and shrug.
"I don't know if I like the idea of people buying pieces of me. They are mine to give away when I feel like it. And that makes them special.”
“Love binds people together, no matter how different they might be.”
“Never met anyone like her in my life. So giving with her heart. I’ll do anything to protect that heart. I want it to be mine to protect.”
“The whole point of love is to trust someone with your heart and pray they don't break it. It's about faith in each other. I gave you my heart when I told you I loved you which means I'm giving you power over me.”
“No! Put your damn hand on my boob!”
“Nat is already laughing. We go through this every morning. She tells Nik I own a clown car.
I glower at her while I put my foot up onto Nik’s lap and kick the passenger door while turning the ignition.
She starts.
Works every time.
Nik looks like he’s not sure whether to laugh or get the hell out of the car.
We’re on our way to work and Nat says, “Nik, turn on the radio.”
He shakes his head and replies cynically, “I would but I’m scared the roof might fly off.”
Nat and I burst into laughter. We laugh so much we both sob and laugh at the same time.”
“I step back and shout, "Can everyone shut the fuck up?"
My dad gasps and says, "Valentina, you no be rude you friends like that!"
I nod my head in agreement and try again, "Can everyone please shut the fuck up?" My dad nods his head in a that's better motion.”
“You and me, Tina. It’s gonna happen … Mark my words, baby.”
“But if we never did the scary things in life we’d lead awfully boring lives”
“Not hard anymore, are you?! Take that Penis!”
“You know shit just got serious when you refuse gooey caramel cupcakes which taste like heaven.”
“I love you, Tina. You’re my everything.”
“Trick looks at Nik and smirks, “What’s the fastest you’ve ever come?” Everyone bursts into laughter. Nik chuckles and says, “I think the first time I ever had sex I lasted about twenty seconds.” We’re all in hysterics. Nik interrupts our laughter with, “I’d like to let everyone know I’ve vastly improved since then!”
“So, over the course of the last year, I’ve seen Lola blossom from a delicate flower into a durable weed!”
“So, everyone still on for Poker night?” I anxiously ask.
Max picks up on it, narrows his eyes at me and says, “Yeah, I think. Ghost wasn’t sure if he could make it. Might just be me, you, and Trick.”
I brighten a little too much and chime, “Oh, okay. We might have some extra players to fill in for him.”
Max questions, “And who would these extra players be?”
I try my best at being inconspicuous, “Tina. Nat, Mimi, and Lola.”
Max looks as me a full minute before he bursts into laughter. He straightens up and says, “You’re shittin’ me, right?”
I need to sweeten the deal.
I blurt, “Tina’s bringing two different types of cupcakes. She said she only ever makes them for special occasions so you know they’re gonna be good.”
Max’s brows lift, he strokes his chin and says, “Okay, I’m good with it. You know Trick will be good with it.” He smiles a cruel smile and rasps, “You’re telling Ghost.”
I’d rather shit in my hands and clap!”
“Simple. Judaism had its day, and if the Jews had been smart, when Christianity came along they’d have joined up. Christianity has had its day, and if you were intelligent you’d both join the newest religion. Islam!” He bowed low and said, “Soon all Africa will be Islamic. And all Black America. I see India giving up Hinduism while Burma and Thailand surrender Buddhism. Gentlemen, I represent the religion of the future. I offer you salvation.”
“Suzanna had argued with zealots before — her brother had been born again at twenty-three, and given his life to Christ — she knew from experience there was no gainsaying the bigotry of faith.”
“People were standing up everywhere shouting, "This is me! This is me!" Every time you looked at them they stood up and told you who they were, and the truth of it was that they had no more idea who or what they were than he had. They believed their flashing signs, too. They ought to be standing up and shouting, "This isn't me! This isn't me!" They would if they had any decency. "This isn't me!" Then you might know how to proceed through the flashing bullshit of this world.”
“No solo mantengo conversaciones conmigo misma, sino que me niego a hablar conmigo. Deben de ser los primeros síntomas de la locura.”
“How far they came to perish here, these soldiers and these machines! What bizarre train of events brought youngsters from the Rhineland and Prussia, from the Scottish Highlands and London, from Australia and New Zealand, to butt at each other to the death with flame-spitting machinery in faraway Africa, in a setting as dry and lonesome as the moon?
But that is the hallmark of this war. No other war has ever been like it. This war rings the world.... Men fight as far from home as they can be transported, with courage and endurance that makes one proud of the human race, in horrible contrivances that make one ashamed of the human race.”
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