Quotes from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between

J.A. Saare ·  208 pages

Rating: (5.1K votes)


“Rhiannon's Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Allow yourself to fall. I’ll catch you.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“You know.” My voice was laced with sarcasm. “I love being reminded of just how f*cked up people find my company. One minute, I’m asked to be more loving and sweet. In fact, someone once told me it was downright adorable. But when I actually give the public what they want, they think I’m suffering from a chemical imbalance.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Just because I’m on the lookout for an ass kicking doesn’t mean I’m actively seeking one out. It’s called covering all your bases.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between



“Listen,” I sighed and reached for my plastic bottle. “I want to get this sh!t over and done. Can we strive to obtain that goal? I have a meaningless existence, and I can’t put that kind of action on hold indefinitely”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“It took years of trial and error to blossom into the fine outstanding young woman you see before you
today.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Well, well, well. Tickle my Elmo ass silly.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Rhiannon's Law #37: Don't get so high and mighty, God will only reward that arrogance with a huge bitch slap back to reality.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“I nodded in approval, turned around and opened the door, and stepped into the hall. I walked past the receptionist, smiling at her shocked face when she told me in a superficial voice to have a nice day, and I gave her a parting gift—my middle finger.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between



“Rule number one that all girls must learn. If you’re told to lie down on the floor during a robbery or to
step inside a waiting car during a kidnapping, you’re not doing yourself any favors by cooperating. You’re
essentially handing the bastards a loaded gun and giving them express permission to shoot you in the head.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“It was the equivalent of asking a little girl not to scream the first time she was personally introduced to
Hannah Montana.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Don’t tell me,” I snickered. “You’re in a club that gathers together like raving Trekkies to share secrets of the afterlife. I bet you even have an Enigma CD you crank up to get in the mood.” “Don’t be silly.” His face lit up with an enormous grin. “We listen to Enya, not Enigma.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“If her death taught me anything, it’s this. Cherish the time you have. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Right now is all we are promised.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“I arrived to work on the wrong foot. I was jumpy and agitated, constantly watching the doors. A loud fart would have sent me skyrocketing into orbit.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between



“Stripping is not a fair or unbiased career field. Your body and looks are your livelihood. Once those two things go, it’s only a matter of time before you punch your last T and A ticket – and Erica’s stub was wilting faster than a golden wrapped candy bar that would gain her admittance into the chocolate factory.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Multitask? What do I look like, a fucking secretary?” My temper flared before I could bite it back. Erica wasn’t the only one with a big mouth. I was constantly in danger of writing checks my ass couldn’t cash, the bearer of a lifelong disease of potty mouth that no amount of soap in this world could properly cleanse.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“And you don’t want to be involved with my people, Max. They’re the type to bleed you dry and leave your corpse to rot. When the reckoning comes”—I lifted my hand and made an arch, pointing across the room—”you’ll want to be way the f*ck over there. Do you feel me?”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Whereas I could conform to an emo crowd easily enough, pretending to matriculate from upper crust asshats was too surreal. Goose insisted my stellar attitude and superb language skills had to be put on hold while we were inside the building, which meant to had to keep my big fat cow shut. It was the equivalent of asking a little girl not to scream the first time she was personally introduced to Hannah Montana.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“I can’t help it; this isn’t like you at all. I know the blood exchange changes things—including mood and body chemistry—but this is beyond any kind of scientific explanation.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between



“Have you always been so refined? Your attitude and that mouth.” He sucked air through his teeth and grimaced. “Do you kiss your Mother with it?”

I answered like the smart ass he knew I was. “I did before she died. Of course, my mouth was clean back then. It took years of trial and error to blossom into the fine outstanding young woman you see before you today.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Well, well, well. Tickle my Elmo ass silly. I was sitting across from a person who enjoyed talking to dead people, and if they wouldn’t talk, then by God, he’d just wake their corpses up instead. Next to him was a moody, chain-smoking vampire who just might be bipolar and smoked like a corncob pipe.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“One day you’ll trust me enough to tell me everything there is to know about you. You won’t be afraid to come clean or share what frightens you so much. When that day arrives, I’ll gladly listen.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Rhiannon’s Law #101: Never make a deal with a demon. They are evil bastards that will screw your ass over and send you back to the future. Where the hell did Doc park the DeLorean?”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Rhiannon’s Law #94, for staying safe. The deepest wounds are inflicted when they’re delivered by those you care for. Anyone can kill you physically, but being brutalized emotionally was an entirely different matter.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between



“One bad corpse can ruin your whole day.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“A bartender by trade, a loud mouth by choice, and a necromancer by chance, she’s managed to keep her nasty habit of seeing dead people hidden from those around her—until now.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Rhiannon’s Law #37: Don’t get so high and mighty. God will only reward that arrogance with a huge bitch slap back to reality.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


“Rhiannon’s Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear your arm off, Monty Python and the Holy Grail style.”
― J.A. Saare, quote from Dead, Undead, or Somewhere in Between


Video

About the author

J.A. Saare
Born place: The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“It's the one thing we do better than any other animal.
We communicate, cooperate, and make tools to extend our reach. Every new tool changes us...The old fears the new, and the two threaten destroy each other.
Our technology is what makes us strong. And it's what makes us dangerous.”
― Daniel H. Wilson, quote from Amped


“I think all of us felt,” I said, “at least once in our lives, when we were young, we could go over there, after reading the bull stuff in the Spanish stories, that we could go over there and fight. Or at least jog ahead of the running of the bulls, in the early morning, with a good drink waiting at the other end of the run, and your best girl with you there for the long weekend.” I stopped. I laughed quietly. For my voice had, without knowing, fallen into the rhythm of his way of saying, either out of his mouth, or from his hand.”
― Ray Bradbury, quote from I Sing the Body Electric! & Other Stories


“Misfortune does not help us to believe. ”
― Alexandre Dumas, quote from The Black Tulip


“How smoothly one becomes, not a cheat, exactly, not really a liar, just a man who'll say anything for pay.”
― quote from The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit


“B. How is Jesus able to understand our weaknesses? C. How is our great high priest different from us? 2. Read 1 John 4:9–11. A. How did God show his love for us? What was the purpose of this action (v. 9)? B. Why did Jesus come into this world, according to verse 10? C. What conclusion does John reach, based on what he has said in verses 9–10? 3. Read Hebrews 2:11–18. A. According to verse 11, what does Jesus call those he saves? Why does he call them this? B. What was the purpose for Jesus becoming human, according to verses 14–15? C. Why can Jesus fully understand any problem or challenge you face, according to verses 17–18? How does this make him the perfect helper for you? Battle Lines Spend some time thanking God for claiming you, saving you, and using you. Ask him to use you to bring others to him, and then look for ways to bless others as God has blessed you. Review the five stones with which you’ve been equipped to face your giants.”
― Max Lucado, quote from Facing Your Giants: God Still Does the Impossible


Interesting books

Of Giants and Ice
(2.1K)
Of Giants and Ice
by Shelby Bach
40 Things I Want To Tell You
(1.2K)
40 Things I Want To...
by Alice Kuipers
Lock In
(38.7K)
Lock In
by John Scalzi
Sita: An Illustrated Retelling of the Ramayana
(4.5K)
Sita: An Illustrated...
by Devdutt Pattanaik
White Girl Problems
(9.8K)
What's So Great About Christianity
(2K)
What's So Great Abou...
by Dinesh D'Souza

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.