Quotes from Hard Eight

“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us.
"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said.
[Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked."
"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe."
"Everyone I know wants to see you naked."
"And you?"
"Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman." -Ranger to Stephanie”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decided it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“He reached out, opened the glove compartment, and took out a gun. It was a Smith & Wesson .38 five-shot special. It looked a lot like my gun.
"I stopped by your apartment this morning and picked this up for you," Ranger said. "I found it in the cookie jar."
"Tough guys always keep their gun in the cookie jar."
"Name one."
"Rockford."
Ranger grinned. "I stand corrected.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“This is a little awkward," I said, "but my mother just ran over the rabbit."
"Ran over?"
"As in roadkill. We're not sure what to do about it."
"Where are you?"
"Giovichinni's, buying lunch meat."
"And the rabbit?"
"Gone. He was with two other guys. They scooped him up off the road and drove away with him."
There was a long silence on the phone. "I'm fucking speechless," Morelli finally said.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list.
“Yo,” Ranger said when he answered.
“Small problem.”
“No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.”
“It sort of burned up.”
Silence.
“And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.”
“Babe.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.”
“Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.”
Eeek.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“We don't usually write up accidents involving rabbits.
- Joe Morelli ”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco,”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Bender in, and he died. Bang. Dead as a doorknob."
"Better yet, why don't we just go back and kill him," I said. I opened the door to leave, caught my toe in the floor mat, and fell out of the car, face first. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars. "I'm fine," I said to Lula. "Maybe I'll sleep here tonight.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Calories don't count if they're connected to a celbration. Everyone knows this.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Tastykakes are just another of the many advantages of living in Jersey. They’re made in Philly and shipped to Trenton in all their fresh squishiness. I read once that 439,000 Butterscotch Krimpets are baked every day. And not a heck of a lot of them find their way to New Hampshire. All that snow and scenery and what good does it do you without Tastykakes?”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that's an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“You can relax. I am not here to collect on the deal"
I blinked. "You are not? Then why did you drop your gun belt?"
"I am tired. I wanted to sit and the belt is uncomfortable."
"Oh."
He smiled. "Disappointed?"
"No." Liar, liar, pants on fire.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time rolling on the ground with men who think a stiffy represents personal growth.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“I’m thinking about getting a computer so I can have cybersex,” Grandma said. “Anybody know how that works?” “You go into a chat room,” Valerie said. “And you meet someone. And then you type dirty suggestions to each other.” “That sounds like fun,” Grandma said. “How does the sex part happen?” “You sort of have to do the sex part yourself.” “I knew it was too good to be true,” Grandma said. “There’s always a catch to everything.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“All my adult life I've hidden behind mascara. And if I'm really insecure, I add eyeliner. (Stephanie, Chapter 10)”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“He’s the Wizard because he’s magic. He mysteriously passes through locked doors. He seems to read minds. He’s able to refuse dessert. And he can give me a hot flash with the touch of a fingertip.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Ranger is Cuban-American with skin the color of a mocha latte, heavy on the mocha, and a body that can best be described as yum.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“Are you laughing? I can feel you laughing. My life isn’t funny!” “Babe, your life should be a prime-time sitcom.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

“There’s no tab. And there’s no price for what we give each other. Not ever. Not financial. Not emotional. I have to get back to work.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hard Eight

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Popular quotes

“And what, most importantly of all, shall we be after we die? Out of compassion, I hope that those questioners never find that which they seek.”
― R.A. Salvatore, quote from Streams of Silver

“Die Wirkung eines solchen Hauses auf seinen Besitzer ist unverkennbar. […] Es ist ein gegenseitiger Austausch von Würde, Bedeutung und Kraft, und jegliche Schönheit (oder deren Mangel) spinnt ständig wie ein hin und her sausendes Weberschiffchen von einem zum anderen geheime Fäden. Man schneide die Fäden durch, trenne den Menschen von dem, was von Rechts wegen sein Eigen und bezeichnend für ihn ist, und was zurück bleibt, ist ein seltsames Wesen, halb Erfolg und halb Versagen, wie die Spinne ohne Netz, das nie mehr sein wird, was es war, wenn ihm nicht alle seine Würden und Einkünfte zurück gegeben werden.”
― Theodore Dreiser, quote from The Financier

“The hundred possibilities a situation contains may be more significant than the occurrence of any of them, and metaphor truer in the long run than fact.”
― David Malouf, quote from Johnno

“- The local prince had gotten a notion that the girl could spin straw into gold, the dwarf said. Brainless young idiot, but they’re all like that. If she could spin straw into gold, why was she living in a hovel? Anyway, Gramps said he’d do her spinning for her in return for part of the gold and her firstborn child. She agreed, but naturally when the baby was born she didn’t want to give him up. So Gramps agreed to a guessing game: if she could guess his name, she could keep the baby. Then he let her find out what his name was. She kept the baby and Gramps kept the gold, and everyone went home happy.

- I think I’m beginning to get the idea, Cimorene said. It’s not just spinning straw into gold that’s a family tradition, is it? It’s the whole scheme.

The dwarf nodded sadly.
- Right the first time. Only I can never make it work properly. I can find plenty of girls who’re supposed to spin straw into gold, and most of them suggest the guessing game, but I’ve never had even one who managed to guess my name.

- Oh, dear, said Cimorene.

- I even changed my name legally, so it would be easier, the dwarf said sadly. Herman isn’t a difficult name to remember, is it? But no, the silly chits can’t do it. So I end up with the baby as well as the gold, and babies eat and cry and need clothes, and the gold runs out, and I have to find another girl to spin gold for, and it happens all over again, and I end up with another baby. It isn’t fair!”
― Patricia C. Wrede, quote from Searching for Dragons

“Your Father knows your gifts, your hindrances, and the condition you're in at every moment. And He also knows something you can't possibly know--every single person who's in desperate need of receiving His touch through you.”
― Bruce H. Wilkinson, quote from The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life

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BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

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