Quotes from Second Grave on the Left

“I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, IT’S GONNA GIVE YOU TROUBLE. —BUMPER STICKER”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“DON’T GO BUYING TROUBLE.
IT’S FREE AND IT KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE.
—T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“Make it quick," I said when I picked up.
"Okay. Two men from the FBI are here." Cookie said. Quickly.
Crap. "Men in black are at the office?"
"Well, yes, but they're actually in more of a navy."
Crapola. I so don't have time for men. In any color. "Okay, two questions. Do they look mad, and are they hot?"
After a long, long, pause, Cookie said, "One, not really. Two, no comment at this time. And three, you're on speakerphone."
After another long, long pause, I said, "Okie dokie then. Be there in a jiff.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“WITH GREAT BREASTS COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. —T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“NEVER BE AFRAID TO DART AROUND IN PUBLIC, HUMMING THE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG. —T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“I WAS AN ATHEIST UNTIL I REALIZED I WAS GOD. —BUMPER STICKER”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“She shook her head then took off again, and I found myself struggling to keep up with her in my bunny slippers. With a sigh, I realized I was getting way too much exercise. I'd just have to counteract it later with cake.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“You hit me again," I said, growing oddly annoyed.
"Ya think?" Evil Riggs said. Smart-ass.
"Part of my brain hurts. I demand to know what that part of my brain is called and what its job is.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“...and then she glared at me, the same glare my stepmother used to give me when I gave her the Nazi salute. That woman was so touchy about her resemblance to Hitler.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“Cookie dropped her purse and tried to catch it midair. In the process, she knocked over a vase. When she lunged for the vase, she slipped on the tile and overturned an entire table. A lovely handblown piece of glass flew in my direction, and all I could think as I caught it was, Really? Again? We were going to have to practice muscle control.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“I’m Charlotte Davidson: private investigator, police consultant, all -around badass. Or I could’ve been a badass, had I stuck with those lessons in mixed martial arts. I was only in that class to learn how to kill people with paper.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“This is one Fruit Loop beyond certifiable.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“He took a long draw then asked, “What’d I do?”
“You knew about the guy threatening my dad?”
He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn’t funny. “They told you?”
“Why, no, Swopes, they didn’t. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher’s knife.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket? ~Bumper sticker~”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.”
“You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice.
“Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you
knew that.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“He'd been in surgery for-like-ever, then in recovery, but they put him in a room because, despite the amount of blood loss, his wounds were no longer life threatening. "You here to get in my pants?" he asked.

"You're not wearing any pants," I reminded him. "You're wearing a girly gown with a built-in ass ventilator.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“Where the hell did my bones go?" I asked. This whole upright thing had me stumped.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“That’s the thing about things. They tend to happen.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

“I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken.
Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried.”
― Darynda Jones, quote from Second Grave on the Left

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Popular quotes

“To know the mind, must you not be aware of its activities? The mind is only experience, not just the immediate, but also the accumulated. The mind is the past in response to the present, which makes for the future. The total process of the mind has to be understood.”
― Jiddu Krishnamurti, quote from Total Freedom: The Essential Krishnamurti

“Every relationship must have a starting point so that past errors may remain in the past.”
― Mary Lydon Simonsen, quote from The Perfect Bride for Mr. Darcy

“I like walking. Each step is a thought without words, a thought without words is a thought without blame, without retribution, without consequence.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor

“From dawn each day the boats traveled, until their shadows grew so long that they joined each vessel with the one behind so that, instead of resembling a procession of dark swans in the distance, they seemed to turn into snakes, inching forward on waters turned to fire by the western sunset ahead. While on the bank, the last red light from the huge sky eerily caught the stands of bare larch and birch so that it appeared as if whole armies with massed lances were waiting by the riverbank to greet them.”
― Edward Rutherfurd, quote from Russka: the Novel of Russia

“Why, once Jakes went out to cover a revolution in one of the Balkan capitals. He overslept in his carriage, woke up at the wrong station, didn’t know any different, got out, went straight to a hotel, and cabled off a thousand word story about barricades in the streets, flaming churches, machine guns answering the rattle of his typewriter as he wrote, a dead child, like a broken doll, spread-eagled in the deserted roadway below his window—you know. “Well they were pretty surprised at his office, getting a story like that from the wrong country, but they trusted Jakes and splashed it in six national newspapers. That day every special in Europe got orders to rush to the new revolution. They arrived in shoals. Everything seemed quiet enough but it was as much as their jobs were worth to say so, with Jakes filing a thousand words of blood and thunder a day. So they chimed in too. Government stocks dropped, financial panic, state of emergency declared, army mobilized, famine, mutiny and in less than a week there was an honest to God revolution under way, just as Jakes had said. There’s the power of the Press for you.”
― Evelyn Waugh, quote from Scoop

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