The Princess Diaries

Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear; The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.

Lilly says I have an overactive imagination and a pathological need to invent drama in my life.

Needless to say, the fact that he actually spoke to me at all practically caused me to pass out. And then the fact that he was actually saying something that sounded like it might be a prelude to asking me out - well, I nearly threw up. I mean it. I felt really sick, but in a good way.

What is the appropriate reply to make to a man who says he loves you? Thank you. You are very kind.

You know in sixth grade, when they made all of us girls go into this other room and watch a video about getting our periods and stuff? I bet while we were gone, the boys were watching a video about how to look at each other in that infuriating way.

Maybe nobody has a right to tell anybody to shut up. Maybe this is how wars get started, because someone tells someone else to shut up, and then no one will apologize.

> CracKing: No need to yell. > FtLouie: I’m not yelling!!! > CracKing: You’re using excessive amounts of punctuation, and on-line, that’s like yelling.

I didn’t know what I was supposed to say about that, so I just said, "Wow

I love the Princess Diaries series! Do you?

Leola Mae Harmon. I saw a movie about her on the Lifetime channel. Leola was an air force nurse who was in a car accident and the lower part of her face got all mangled, but then Armand Assante, who plays a plastic surgeon, said he could fix her. Leola had to endure hours of painful reconstructive surgery, during which her husband left her because she didn't have any lips (which I guess is why the movie is called Why Me?). Armand Assante said he would make her a new pair of lips, only the other air force doctors didn't like the fact that he wanted to make them out of skin from Leola's vagina. But he did it anyway, and then he and Leola got married and worked together to help give other accident victims vagina lips. And the whole thing turned out to have been based on a true story.

Lana looked at me like I’d just said I’d never watched Bring It On, or something.

But Mom’s been depressed ever since her last boyfriend turned out to be a Republican.

I mean it. Like, people always talk about how God doesn’t ever give you more than you can handle, but I’m telling you right now, I cannot handle this. This is just too much!

Actually, it’s scary. Scarier than Freddy Kruger and Jason put together.

I’m not going to tell anybody, not even Lilly. Lilly would NOT understand. NOBODY would understand. Because nobody I know has ever been in this situation before. Nobody ever went to bed one night as one person and then woke up the next morning to find out that she was somebody completely different.

I’m not scared, though. Norman has kind of thick glasses, and I bet he couldn’t actually hit anything, even with a machine-gun, which even a lunatic like Norman is allowed to buy in this country thanks to our totally unrestrictive gun laws, which Michael Moscovitz says in his webzine will ultimately result in the demise of democracy as we know it.

Is everything all right? Is everything all right? Hmm, hold on a minute, let me see . . . my mom is going out with my Algebra teacher, a subject I’m flunking, by the way; my best friend hates me; I’m fourteen years old and I’ve never been asked out; I don’t have any breasts; and oh, I just found out I’m the princess of Genovia.

What to Do During Algebra O what to do during Algebra! The possibilities are limitless: There's drawing, and yawning, and portable chess There's dozing, and dreaming, and feeling confused. There's humming, and strumming, and looking bemused. You can stare at the clock. You can hum a little song. I've tried just about everything to pass the time along.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear.

I whirled around. “It wasn’t just a kiss,” I said. I was getting really mad. “Maybe that’s how you wanted it to look, like it was just a kiss. But you and I both know what it really was: A media event. And one that you’ve been planning since you saw me in the Post. Well, thank you, Josh, but I can get my own publicity. I don’t need you.

Dala by som čokoľvek, keby na miesto toho, aby som bola stosedemdesiatpäť centimetrov vysokou princeznou s plochou hrudou, som mohla byť stošesťdesiaťpäť centimetrovým normálnym dievčaťom s prsiami. ČOKOĽVEK.

Ode to Algebra Thrust into this dingy classroom we die like lampless moths locked into the desolation of fluorescent lights and metal desks. Ten minutes until the bell rings. What use is the quadratic formula in our daily lives? Can we use it to unlock the secrets in the hearts of those we love? Five minutes until the bell rings. Cruel Algebra teacher, won't you let us go?

Once we were outside, I was so excited I could hardly stand it. “Grandmère!” I yelled. “What’d you say to them? What’d you say to convince them to let me go?” But Grandmère just laughed in this scary way and said, “I have my ways.” Boy, did I ever not hate her then.

Maybe this is how wars get started, because someone tells someone else to shut up, and then no one will apologize.

Absolute value: the distance that a given number is from zero on a number line . . . always a positive

My life is a convoluted web of lies.

Lilly asked me if i had to choose between Harrison Ford or George Clooney who would it be, and I said Harrison Ford even though he's so old, but the Harrison Ford from Indiana Jones, not Star Wars, and then Lilly said she'd choose Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan in those Tom Clancy movies, and then Michael goes, Who would you choose, Harrison Ford or Leonardo di Caprio? and we both chose Harrison Ford because Leonardo is so passe,

I really wished he would go away. Plus a bunch of his computer nerd friends were standing there, staring at me like I was some new kind of pixel or something.