“Did you see that? The fuck I give. It went that way.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Water? At a wedding? I don’t understand,” he asks in confusion. “Did you invite Jesus? That’s the only way that will be acceptable.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Oh Sweet Jesus. Sweet mother fucking fuckery of fucks.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Say it,” he whispers. “I missed out on this the first time. I want to hear you say it.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I'm gonna make like a fetus and head out.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I love both of you exactly the way you are. I love that you have no filter, and I adore that Gavin can make grown men cry. There is not one thing I would change about either of you, and if anyone doesn’t like it, they can kiss my ass. You guys are my life and my family now. Nothing else matters.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I am plenty romantic. Just this morning while he slept, I had left Carter a box of his favorite candy next to his pillow - Globs: piles of white chocolate covered, crushed potato chips and pretzels drizzled with caramel. I figured it would soften him up to the note I placed next to the box telling him if he left the toilet seat up one more time and my ass got an involuntary bath at six in the morning, I would put super glue on the head of his penis while he slept. I had even signed the note with a couple of Xs and Os. Who says romance is dead?”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I should have sold you to that traveling circus when you were four.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I should ask her to marry me now. If I do it while she's coming, she probably won't be able to say no. It would be physically impossible. Like performing a sex exorist. THE POWER OF THE ORGASM COMPELS YOU!”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“You know what happens when you assume things?”
I left out a sigh. “You make an ass out of you and me.”
…
“No, you just make an ass out of you. Me, I would never be this assy”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Mommy and Daddy make a lot of noise when they kiss. Mommy talks to God a lot. I talk to God sometimes too. I asked him for a puppy and a new monster truck but I was nice and didn't yell at him like Mommy does. He still hasn't gotten me the puppy though.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“a shirt that said “Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic, have you seen my
shotgun?”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Mortification, party of one, your table is now ready.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Liz asked me the other day what I thought about twice baked potatoes. How the fuck should I know? Was I supposed to be thinking about twice baked potatoes all this time? Is this where I went wrong? Are grown men supposed to have an opinion about twice baked potatoes?”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I DON'T EVEN FUCKING LIKE GREEN EGGS!”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“It’s mind-blowing and delicious and better
than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at
the end of a rainbow.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“London Bridge is in Arizona? When the fuck did this happen? Does London know about this? The queen has got to be pissed”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Because I'm pretty sure we conceived this child the night I ate that pot cookie. I'm eighty-four percent positive our child is going to be born a pot head. It's going to come out with dreadlocks and wearing a Bob Marley onesie. Its first word will probably be 'Whaaaaaazzzzzzzuuuuuup'. It's never, ever going to sleep through the night because it's always going to have the munchies.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“It all just depends on the person you're with. If you can look at that person and know without a doubt that you want to spend the rest of your life kissing them goodnight and waking up next to them, marriage is for you.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I don’t even get the term, “the birds and the bees”.
How does that properly teach a kid about sex? You never see a pigeon railing a
dove or a honey bee sticking it to a bumble bee.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I'm sorry, what do you want to order?"
"A virgin. I want to order a virgin.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced her false teeth!”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“Could you stand still please?' Sylvia says in an irritated voice. If she had sweaty balls and an almost-boner she wouldn't be so judgmental. Am I right, or am I right?”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“A few seconds of silence lapse, and I knew Carter was waiting for me to mention the huge "I'm pregnant" elephant in the room. Fuck that elephant! he can just sit there in the corner eating peanuts and shitting on the tile while giving me looks of disgust.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“My father had bought him a shirt
that said “Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic,
have you seen my shotgun?”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I want to marry Mommy. We'll kiss and we'll marry and I'll take her on dates and we'll be best friends forever and make lots of phone calls with each other.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“I changed my mind. Maybe I do want a black hole for a vagina. How bad could it be? I wouldn't need to carry a purse anymore. I could just shove things up my twat. 'Oh, you need a pen? Hold on, let me check in my vagina. What's that you say? Do I have a flashlight? Let me stick my hand up my vag and find out.' Let's go home. We could do a home birth in the bathtub. It might be a tight squeeze but I bet we could both fit in there.”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
“He picks up one of the tests and pretends like he's Harry Potter, aiming the test at random objects around the small bathroom yelling, "I curse you with my magic wand, punk toilet paper!”
― Tara Sivec, quote from Futures and Frosting
Tara Sivec
Born place: in The United States
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“It’s amazing how many Noble Liars and their ilk are eager to embrace ethical violations—with all due bewailing of their agonies of conscience—when they haven’t spent even five minutes by the clock looking for an alternative.”
― Eliezer Yudkowsky, quote from Rationality: From AI to Zombies
“Therefore, in reading profane authors, the admirable light of truth displayed in them should remind us, that the human mind, however much fallen and perverted from its original integrity, is still adorned and invested with admirable gifts from its Creator. If we reflect that the Spirit of God is the only fountain of truth, we will be careful, as we would avoid offering insult to him, not to reject or condemn truth wherever it appears. In
despising the gifts, we insult the Giver.”
― John Calvin, quote from Institutes of the Christian Religion, 2 Vols
“He stops and looks at me. 'I'm here because of you. You're my priority. Your happiness, in some fucked way, is tuned in to mine. Get that through your thick skull. Would I like it any other way? Hell, yes, but I don't think that will be happening in my lifetime.”
― Melina Marchetta, quote from Jellicoe Road
“It’s a mother’s greatest joy and greatest burden, having children to worry about. You can’t have one without the other.”
― M.K. Eidem, quote from Grim
“Feeling dead was better than when my heart hurt. Sometimes I thought it might burn through my ribs while I was asleep, and smolder in the sheets until the whole house caught fire.”
― Bryn Greenwood, quote from All the Ugly and Wonderful Things
Strangers on a Train
Until Friday Night
My Losing Season: A...
The Dream Hunter
The Guermantes Way
Pastwatch: The Redem...BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.
We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.
Founded in 2018, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.
