All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership

Joan Williams at the Center for WorkLife Law said "My strongest advice to young women: Don't just try to find a man who's supportive of women. That's a threshold. But consider, what is his attitude toward himself and ambition? That's what determines your future. If he's ambitious and feels entitled to that ambition, you're going to end up embattled, marginalized, and divorced.

Men are not socialized to feel guilty for having freedom or for not being there for other people.

I became my own worst enemy, conflicted about my right to ask, self-conscious about my rising anger, and too often stuck with the choice between fighting or just taking care of it, whatever it was, on my own.

It is a truism that motherhood makes many women feminist.

The mental load means always having to remember. Remember that you have to add cotton buds to the shopping list, remember that today’s the deadline to order your vegetable delivery for the week, remember that we should have paid the caretaker for last month’s work by now. That the baby grew another 3 cm and can’t fit into his trousers anymore, that he needs to get his booster shot, or that your partner doesn’t have a clean shirt left. . . . So while most heterosexual men say that they do their fair share of household chores . . . their partners have a rather different perspective: ‘He always puts on the washing machine but never hangs the washing out to dry.’ ‘The sheets could be standing stiff before he thought to change them.’ ‘He’s never cooked a single meal for the baby.

Men don’t get it. They are often times oblivious to others’ needs and only think of themselves.