Women Don't Owe You Pretty

But remember that anyone who tells you you’re “too” anything is using the word because they are threatened by your capacity to grow, evolve and express your emotions.

Choosing yourself will always disappoint some people. The sooner we accept this and make peace with it, the better.

Temporary discomfort is an investment in your future self. Accept a small and uncomfortable transition now, for a lifetime of growth and self-development.

You are not a source of energy for others to take. This is your table, you set the standards and you choose who gets a seat. Start turning away people who have the audacity to show up in your life with crumbs, because crumbs can’t feed you. Find someone who brings you a whole cake.

Promise yourself to stop buying into people’s potential. You’re not a start-up investor.

uncomfortable and liberating – exactly what growth is supposed to feel like.

The world owes you nothing, and equally you owe it nothing.

No one’s approval is ever worth compromising your own boundaries and abandoning your own beliefs for.

Imagine all of the past versions of yourself, standing right in front of you. They are all smiling, looking back at you. They are so proud of you.

Does this person value your time? Time is another important boundary and a real eye-opener when it comes to how people value their relationship with you. If they always show up late, cancel last minute, and only drop in your life when they need you, they do not respect your time. This is not a reciprocal relationship. You are being used for your energy! Don’t give any time to people who don’t have time for you.

If you have to perform a level of “prettiness” in order to be chosen by someone, they are choosing you based on your objective beauty. I get that you crave to be chosen by someone based on more than how you look. You want to be chosen for your entire self. Darling, as long as you spend your years chasing male validation, you will exhaust yourself all the way to your grave. Because male validation is a bottomless pit. It won’t ever see you how you deserve to be seen. Stop chasing it. Stop trying to attract it. Stop trying to mould yourself into a palatable Floss. It will consume you and spit you back out once it’s done using you. Your main goal in life is not to be “chosen” by a man anyway. It’s all a big lie. You don’t actually need men for anything. Or at the very least, not in the capacity you’ve been made to think you do.

Growth can feel isolating. Everything you thought you knew about yourself and the world shifts right before your eyes.

Up until now we have been bombarded with the same stories that either make us subconsciously hate ourselves or hate others. It’s time to change the narrative, and the power lies in your hands. Consume diverse content. Reinvigorate those tired taste buds.

It’s not their bullying that “made me the person I am today”, but my own resilience that enabled me to adapt.

Your character is not to be judged by the mistakes you make – but your ability to hold yourself accountable, interrogate your actions and come back with the correct behaviour.

You’re right, it isn’t. But it happens. Because when women choose to behave outside of our appointed, prescribed gender roles, it unravels centuries of oppressive structures and some people can’t handle their reality being challenged. In the name of preserving this “tradition” they use the tool of shame to keep us in our place. An example is how women are called “bitches” for being assertive, setting firm boundaries or standing up for themselves. Most of the time, it’s not even men who call women bitches. When we turn against each other, it’s patriarchy’s very sneaky way of continuing our oppression – because it gets other women to do its dirty work, so it doesn’t look guilty of being the reason we are taught to compete with and hate each other in the first place.

Crumbs can’t feed me. I want the cake.

Exactly, it’s not your problem. A lot of straight men don’t actually know who they are if they aren’t able to “provide” for women. You might find yourself subconsciously doing all kinds of ridiculous things to fluff their egos. For example, pretending you don’t know a lot about a subject, just so he can explain it to you. Society rewards women who don’t have to be told to stay in their lane. It loves women who just readily accept their gender roles and conform, the ones who don’t challenge its regime. Doing little things to please men will afford you a lot of advantages.

I often wonder what my life would look like if I had learned that my body belongs to me, and me alone, first; that the way my body looks, and its purpose, is not to please others.

Knowing you have been unintentionally causing harm and benefitting from unfair systems is uncomfortable. But think about how uncomfortable it must be existing on the flip side of that privilege.

They’re just a distraction. Carry on as you were.

I don't owe anyone my trauma.

They might be hot, but if they're a piece of shit - they're a piece of shit.

It might feel like a personal attack initially, but if someone cares enough to tell you that something you have said is hurtful or has hurt them, it’s because they value you and they want you to understand how your words affected them. Equally, holding yourself accountable for your own actions is self-love. This is how we grow.

Stop saying “sure” to everything when really you mean “no.” If protecting your energy and refusing to entertain things that don’t nourish your soul makes you a “bitch”—then go ahead, be a bitch.

A lot of people are reluctant to ask for consent because they feel like asking “kills the mood.” But you know what really kills the mood? Sexually assaulting someone.

Colours don’t have a gender. We placed gender onto them, because gender was socially constructed, it is an idea.

An example is how women are called “bitches” for being assertive, setting firm boundaries or standing up for themselves. Most of the time, it’s not even men who call women bitches. When we turn against each other, it’s patriarchy’s very sneaky way of continuing our oppression – because it gets other women to do its dirty work, so it doesn’t look guilty of being the reason we are taught to compete with and hate each other in the first place.

It’s not fair on your mind to compare your lowest moments to another person’s highlight reel.