Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality

None of us know how long we have, but we do have a choice in whether we love or hate. And every day that we rob people of the ability to live their lives to the fullest, we are undermining the most precious gift we are given as humans. [... E]ach time we ask anyone—whether they are transgender, Black, an immigrant, Muslim, Native American, gay, or a woman—to sit by and let an extended conversation take place about whether they deserve to be respected and affirmed in who they are, we are asking people to watch their one life pass by without dignity or fairness. That is too much to ask of anyone.

There are few things more dangerous to a transgender woman than the risk of a straight man not totally comfortable in his sexuality or masculinity realizing he is attracted to her.

Hope can be limitless. Inspiration can always be found. Ideas are endless. But time, that is the one resource that none of us can afford to waste.

Compromise is often necessary [in politics], but entire marginalized identities are not expendable chess pieces.

Having certain privileges does not mean that your life is easy or that you do not face challenges. It just means that you don't experience specific kinds of obstacles or barriers faced by someone with a different identity or background. And our empathy should require us to acknowledge the plight of others in both its similarities to ours and in its differences.

Each of us has a deep and profound desire to be seen, to be acknowledged, and to be respected in our totality. There is a unique kind of pain in being unseen. It's a pain that cuts deep by diminishing and disempowering, and whether done intentionally or unintentionally, it's an experience that leaves real scars.

When you've never felt like you really belonged somewhere, it's almost impossible to know what it will feel like to finally feel at home.

The best way I can describe [being transgender] for myself [...] is a constant feeling of homesickness. An unwavering ache in the pit of my stomach that only goes away when I can be seen and affirmed in the gender I've always felt myself to be. And unlike homesickness with location, which eventually diminishes as you get used to the new home, this homesickness only grows with time and separation.

We must never be a country that says there’s only one way to love, only one way to look, and only one way to live.

Our identities matter. They help make us who we are and shape our outlook. Existing in them is a radical act, one that requires, in many instances, courage, hard work, and determination. I am a better person because of the experiences and insights that I've had because I'm transgender. I'm a more compassionate person than I was before I accepted that part of my identity.

As I said to that state representative in Delaware who had admonished us for moving the trans equality bill too quickly, each time we ask anyone - whether they are transgender, Black, an immigrant, Muslim, Native American, gay, or a woman - to sit by and let an extended conversation take place about whether they deserve to be respected and affirmed in who they are, we are asking people to watch their own life pass by without dignity or fairness. That is too much to ask of anyone.

And every day that we rob people of the ability to live their lives to the fullest, we are undermining the most precious gift we are given as humans.

Principles are worth something only if you stick by them, even when they feel inconvenient. It's easy to rationalize and find seemingly altruistic reasons for betraying a moral imperative, but that's exactly when principles are most important.

A government cannot be “of the people, by the people, and for the people” if wide swaths of the people have no seat at the table,

We must never be pacified by our progress or content with the pace of change. But we must always remember just how far we've come and hold firm to our vision of a fairer, more just society. Every day matters in this fight. But I remain as hopeful as ever that tomorrow will be different.

How could I not take it personally, thought? For all of us, the political is personal. And the truth is this: Sometimes vulnerability is the best, or only, path to justice. Those with power or privilege won't extend equality easily.

There is no doubt that society places unfair and unjust barriers in front of transgender people, but that is a flaw in society, not a problem with being transgender.

But nothing inspired me more than the fights for equal rights at the center of our history. Each generation, it became clear, was defined by whether they expanded equality, welcoming and including people who had once been excluded or rejected.

...we all live our lives with multiple identities intersecting with one another, creating a mix of privileges and challenges that all people carry with us. Race, gender, economic background, religion, immigration status, family acceptance, and so much more create a complex matrix that sometimes erects obstacles but other times ensures support in overcoming barriers put in your way.

I am powerful just for being.

any barrier to good jobs, safe schools, or basic health care is inequality one and the same.

It wasn't discomfort at being in the presence of a trans person. It was discomfort at the slow realization that the caricatures they had in their minds were unfounded.

If our pursuit of equality is built on the ability of some of us to blend in, then we will leave many of the most marginalized behind.

Transgender people shouldn't be treated with dignity because of how some of us look; we should be treated with dignity because we are human beings. The trans community is as diverse as any community.

Representation in popular culture is key. It is often the first way many of us learn about different identities, cultures, and ideas.

There's a saying that goes, 'If you're not at the table, you're on the menu.' . . . A government cannot be 'of thepeople, by the people, and for the people' if wide swaths of the people have no seat at the table, if large parts of the country feel like there is literally no one in their government who can understand what they are going through.

Somehow society manages to treat women like both a delicate infant and a sexualized idol in the same moment. Our thoughts are dismissed and our emotions minimized. And the mundane decisions that I never had to think about when I would wake up before I came out -- the clothes I'd wear, the route I'd take, and all of the other tiny decisions one makes just merely going about their day -- now became central to avoiding a thousand judgments or, worse, violence. I finally had come out of the closet, only to find myself stuck in the kitchen.

As trans activist Faye Seidler quipped, more Americans said they had seen a ghost than knew a transgender person, according to some polls.

Society can’t make me feel voiceless when I know the power of my own voice. And society can’t make me feel weak when I know that

In the face of hateful rhetoric or divisive legislation, we cannot remain silent.