Taboo: Conversations We Never Had About Sex, Body Image, Work and Relationships

We live in a culture obsessed with wellness, and yet we have never been more sick.

The goal is not to be partnered; the goal is to know and love yourself enough to continue being vulnerable and bold with your life. I know I can and I will. The difference now is I have a blueprint for the kind of relationship I want: the one I have right now

once heard a theory about the first relationship that occurs after a big relationship ends. It is called the 90/10 rule. The theory goes: whatever the crucial 10 per cent is that was missing from your partner who was otherwise totally right for you is the thing you look for in the following person. That missing 10 per cent becomes such a fixation that, when you do find someone who has it, you ignore the fact they do not have the other 90 per cent that the previous partner had.

am tired of women sticking it out in relationships that ‘are not that bad’, because our default belief system is that a single woman is somehow sadder than an unhappily partnered one.

Raphael takes her reasoning a step further and argues that wellness has become a new form of faith. As organized religion has retreated from everyday life, she argues, wellness has rushed in to fill the void.

A taboo is, in many ways, a failed connection. It is rejecting a bid for conversation because of discomfort. Every time you say how you feel, you are dismantling a stigma that’s working to dehumanise you.