Gary Chapman · 209 pages
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“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. Having confessed my failure and asked forgiveness, I can do nothing more to mitigate the hurt it may have caused my spouse. When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness. If I choose justice and seek to pay her back or make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself the judge and her the felon. Intimacy becomes impossible. If, however, I choose to forgive, intimacy can be restored. Forgiveness is the way of love.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships.
Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“The person who is "in-love" has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“I would encourage you to make your own investigation of the one whom, as He died, prayed for those who killed Him: 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' That is love's ultimate expression.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction—the satisfaction of having genuinely”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Camp out in the living room. Spread your blankets and pillows on the floor. Get your Pepsi and popcorn. Pretend the TV is broken and talk like you used to when you were dating. Talk till the sun comes up or something else happens. If the floor gets too hard, go back upstairs and go to bed. You won’t forget this evening!”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Dr. Dorothy Tennov, a psychologist, has done long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“We speak and understand best our native language. We feel most comfortable speaking that language. The more we use a secondary language, the more comfortable we become conversing in it. If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited. We must rely on pointing, grunting, drawing pictures, or acting out our ideas. We can communicate, but it is awkward.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other’s eyes. It means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“Third, one who is "in love" is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. "If we have any purpose in mind when we fall in love it is to terminate our own loneliness and perhaps ensure this result through marriage.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
“I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.”
― Gary Chapman, quote from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Gary Chapman
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