I Like You Just Fine When You're Not Around

Why do you think movies and fiction authors invent vampires, lottery winners, and soulmates? I'll tell you why: because watching someone brush their teeth, shop for sandwich meat, and change the toilet paper roll is as mind-numbing for the observer as it is for the observed. Problem is, we live the toilet paper life, not the vampire life.' ....'But we expect the vampires.

Stop making happiness some kind of concrete goal. It’s a side effect. It’s a secondary happening, but not the main event. Happiness is what you feel when you’ve been kind, fair, or loving in the face of hardness. It is the feeling of light that comes after behaving in the way you ultimately want.

No such thing as fair, Tig. Don’t expect fair. Expect unfair and be prepared for possibility. While there is rarely fair, there is always possibility.

mother would say, “Stop making happiness some kind of concrete goal. It’s a side effect. It’s a secondary happening, but not the main event. Happiness is what you feel when you’ve been kind, fair, or loving in the face of hardness. It is the feeling of light that comes after behaving in the way you ultimately want.” But

What she didn’t realize until now was what she needed—what everyone needed—was a chance to be on the receiving end of that look, instead of always being on the giving end.

It’s hard to be the one left behind, isn’t it?

Some of that is a problem of expectation. I blame Hollywood for that. The definition of life should be long periods of monotony and body maintenance punctuated by occasional moments of glory and despondency. At least we’d know what to anticipate.

The truth is, it’s hard to be human, but the definition of ‘human’ is flawed.

I was careful not to talk about what I was thinking, but I was judging people, sending that poison into the universe.

Think about it; you don’t really live life if you don’t know the value of it. You learn the value of things when you realize you could lose them.

Worry is what you do when there’s nothing to be done.

Not expect less. Look harder. Appreciate more from the less. Revel in contentment, acknowledge the sweetness in smallness of life.

And remember, relationships are loaded guns. Don’t operate them without a safety.

My mom always said that when it comes to relationships, it’s important to pay as much attention to what people do as what they say. Only through their actions will you truly know where you stand.

She had counseled scores of married couples that had put up with dismissive, even abusive, behavior from their spouses. Since the idea of “happy” hadn’t been on the horizon for a long time, just plain managing was a large enough goal to strive for.

Tig assessed the couple seated across from each other in her office, more sparring partners than teammates.