Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.

Doing things for the outcome rather than for the joy of the process disconnects you from yourself. You start chasing. You get desperate. You forget your “why.” But most importantly, you don’t allow yourself to be happy until you get what you want. And if that never comes, you never practice being happy.

Everything ends and begins with what you believe about yourself. What you believe will determine where you will go and who you will become.

A thriving relationship is one in which two whole people come together and do life with each other, not at or around each other. To do that, we must have a healthy relationship with ourselves,

Can you give someone else your undivided attention? Do that for yourself.

Closure happens right after you accept that letting go and moving on is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the situation could have been. —SYLVESTER MCNUTT III

Singlehood isn’t just about being single. Singlehood is about being a whole person.

The same thoughts produce the same feelings, which produce the same behavior, which leads to the same experiences. And I’ll take this one step further. Having the same experiences cements the same false beliefs. Basically, we live in a loop—a pattern that keeps us stuck and disconnected, not only from ourselves but also from the world.

it. I have wondered how many “ones” have gotten away. I have felt that deep loneliness

We punch clocks instead of the sky and chase blueprints that don’t even belong to us

general education requirement in school that covers boundaries

How you talk to yourself is actually more important than how you treat yourself. Because how you talk to yourself will determine how you treat yourself.

Now ask yourself: In what ways are you not treating yourself the way you treat the people you love? How is your current relationship with yourself? How are you treating yourself (action)? And how are you talking to yourself (words)?

Because when we feel alive, we are connected to ourselves and our spirit. When we feel dead, we are not. Feed your spirit. But first, you need to find it. You need to embark on the journey.

Now take a moment and ask yourself: How are you connecting to your spirit today? Or are you? When did you listen to your true spirit and allow it to dance? Or have you ever? What happened that killed your spirit? Choosing a career path you never wanted? Not giving yourself any time for yourself? Not doing things that are fun, that make you feel alive, that matter to you?

relationship with your body, one that you will continue to grow and nurture.

I pulled out that kid I had locked away for so long and restarted my relationship with him.

We continue to drift further from ourselves, and the more we disconnect from ourselves, the more we crave connecting with someone else.

remain completely unaware of what a healthy relationship even looks like. After all, we’ve never experienced one. So we get into toxic, abusive, and lopsided relationships because they feel familiar, though they bring us the kind of pain that makes us question life. We keep that buried deep inside and pretend it’s all good.

Our search for what we’re lacking sets off the toxic pattern of living from the outside in instead of from the inside out. We lock away parts of ourselves that we once liked in a hope chest. We become lesser versions of ourselves so others will like us. Or we posture. Either way, we hide now and learn to chase approval and validation, a quest we will stay on for many years to come. Soon it turns us invisible.

Asking myself Where am I going? before asking myself Who is going with me?

If you don’t create a new definition of love, you will always attract and repeat the same love experiences.

Just as we’re responsible for our own happiness in our relationship, we are also responsible for how we look and feel about ourselves. That is not your partner’s responsibility.

will never be in an abusive relationship, neither physical nor emotional.

If you see yourself as an experiment and distance yourself from your thinking so you stop allowing your thoughts to have power over you, you can do more than you believe you can.

Self-care doesn’t mean bubble baths and fancy brunches. It really means taking care of yourself daily like you would for someone you love. It means breaking the pattern of putting yourself last. It means not taking on everything. Not overextending yourself. It means blowing out the candle when it’s burning at both ends. It means saying no to things. It means considering your own needs, not over others’ needs but with them, and meeting your needs.