Muscling Through

Please go" he said. "Just take my money - take anything - and go" I didn't get why he wanted me to take something, but he seemed really worried about it. So I looked around, and he had a bowl of fruit on the side, so I grabbed an apple, 'cause I always get hungry after I've been drinking. "I'll take this, okay?" Then I left him there, but I took the knives and I hid them in the hall cupboard, just in case.

I was thinking of Cambridge, and then I got a bit homesick for a minute, 'cause I never been this far away from home before. But the I remember you're here, and now I'm not homesick no more.

I went and kissed him to wake him up just like Sleeping Beauty. Although I guess with me it was more like Beauty and the Beast.

I got zero on a maths test once," I said. "The teacher said he'd wanted to give me a minus number, but the computer wouldn't let him.

I've been an idiot." "That's okay," I said. "You're still way cleverer than me".

Larry said that Michelangelo was a poof, so I wondered why he’d sculpted a guy with a really tiny cock. But I know when you go to old houses, the doorways are much smaller, ’cause people were shorter then, so maybe cocks were smaller too. It makes me glad I wasn’t born a few centuries ago.

'You must've been waiting for someone like me to come along,' I said. I meant, because of the big bed. But Larry looked at me all funny and said, 'Yes, I think I was.'

But I know when you go to old houses, the doorways are much smaller, ’cause people were shorter then, so maybe cocks were smaller too. It makes me glad I wasn’t born a few centuries ago.

He said, "Al, that's the stupidest question you've ever asked in your life," but I don't reckon it was. I bet I ask way stupider questions that that every day.

Al, you're the most wonderful man I've ever been terrified by down a dark alleyway. Will you marry me?

You never did...anything else with Ren?" I knew he wasn't talking about me painting him and stuff. "Why would I want him when I got you?" And then I got worried, 'cause I wasn't sure if I still had Larry or not.

I got Larry to pose for me first off. It took awhile before I got any sketches done, though, ’cause every time he got his kit off, we ended up fucking. Then Larry had a good idea. He said we should fuck first and do pictures after, and that worked pretty good. I love looking at Larry when he’s just been fucked.

We did sixty-nine that night. Larry went on top so he didn’t get squished. He’s really good at sucking dick. I wondered if he’d got exams in that too.

One night when I got in from work a bit late, 'cause it was really nice weather and everyone wants to take the punts out when it's sunny, I found Larry just sitting on the sofa staring at a blank TV screen. At first I thought maybe he'd forgotten to turn it on, but then I thought, no, Larry's not stupid. He'd have noticed.

I got up and went and put my arms around him from behind, and I kissed his neck in the place that always makes him shiver. In a good way, not like he's scared or nothing.

Is, er, your friend a member of college staff?" "No, Al's an artist. And, ah, he's my partner," Larry said. I like it when he calls me that. I don't think Matthew's mum liked it. "How...lovely. Is that how you met? Through...art?" Larry said "Yes" just as I said, "No, we met when I was having a piss in an alley.

I was going to buy Larry something, but he said I should spend it on something I always wanted. So I bought a cat.

He was gasping and moaning and saying stuff like, "Oh God, oh God, oh God!" so I figured he was enjoying it.

I just asked you, Alan, what was your opinion about the trend towards modernisation in the performance of the classics?" Larry's dad said, with his lip curled up all funny.[...] "I think it's okay. I don't think you should diss actors just 'cause they can't afford proper costumes." Then Larry laughed, but his family all looked at me like I had sauce all over my face or something. So I wiped my mouth, but it was clean anyhow. But I made sure I was extra careful eating after that, just in case.

I didn't think they liked me at first, but then Larry's mum said she could see I'd concentrated on my physical education, which I thought was nice of her, though Larry didn't smile or nothing.

I was worried about littering, but Larry said it was okay 'cause corks come from trees and are natural and stuff. Only he used longer words than that.(Al)

I never know what people want to hear when they say that stuff. And it’s not like anything about me is interesting or nothing. “Have you always lived in Cambridge?” I nodded. “Do you live alone?” I nodded again. So then he gave up on twenty questions and started telling me about himself.

I kept watching Toby to see how he'd manage with those little wineglasses and his big nose, but I never managed to catch him drinking.

Mum always says it's really important to get three meals a day, even though she's always on a diet.

Al? Is that all it is for you? You just like the way we...fuck?" I was going to say, he said "fuck" like it's dirty word, but I guess it is, isn't it? But he said it like that anyhow.

Sometimes you got to make a stand on something, even when the thing itself isn't that important. It's like the difference between painting and photos-it's what you don't see in the photo that matters.

Larry says it’s sandalwood, and it’s called that ’cause of the Latin name. They don’t make sandals out of it or nothing.

I thought my mum would be probably rather have us round for tea in her room, but Larry said he wanted to take he out proper. I liked that idea because it like he thought we was proper, you know? Like, not just fucking.

Up past the King's is this stone bridge with big stone balls on it. Larry said it was Clare Bridge. I said I hoped they'd stuck those balls down properly, 'cause i didn't fancy one of them coming down on us when we went underneath. Larry thought that was really funny, but I don't think he'd have been laughing if half a ton of stone dropped through the bottom of the punt.