Quotes from Necromancing the Stone

Lish McBride ·  344 pages

Rating: (4.7K votes)


“Wind does not discriminate—it touches everyone, everything. He liked that about wind.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Ramon looked closely at the little guy as he ate. "Maybe he's Jewish. I mean, if Sammy Davis Jr. could convert to Judaism, why not a chupacabra? We should name him Harry Mendelbaum."

I held up my arms in protest. "You're all racist. Now shut up. We'll call him Taco von Precious of Svenenstein. There, everybody happy?"

"Isn't von the same thing as of?" Frank asked. "Wouldn't that be kind of redundant?"

"You're redundant," I said.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Twinkle the Destroyer wasn't alone, it seemed. There were more gnomes than I thought. Pip the Bringer of Pain, Chauncey the Devourer of Souls, Cuddly the Inexplicable, Gnoman Polanski, Pith the Bitey, Gnome ChompSky, Gnomie Malone, Chuck the Norriser- the list went on.
'It's like a mishmash of violent imagery, TV, an political references'
'I told you they like TV. I'm not sure the understand everything they see, though, so they don't fully grasp what they're stealing their names from. Like, I think Gnome ChompSky just thought it sounded tough and Chuck the Norriser came from watching too many episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger. They believe Chuck Norris is a demigod'
'Who doesn't?”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Slow down and explain to us plebeians. If you have to, use sock puppets.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“When you break up with someone, and I’m not talking casual breakups here, it’s hard to take the sudden absence of such an important person in your life. It reminded me of when I’d stopped going to school and the weird uneasy feeling I’d gotten afterward, like I was forgetting to do something. My life until that point had pivoted around some form of education, and all of a sudden, it was gone. Homework, classes, running around, and then – bam – nothing but a life of work stretching out before you. No one prepares you for that feeling or even mentions it. You just suddenly have a gap and have to decide how to fill it.

A break up is like that gap, only much, much more painful. One day the person you talked to constantly or did stuff with is just absent. Gone. Poof. And even though I’m not one of those people who has to be in a relationship all the time, I was feeling at a loss.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone



“She looked away, trying not to cry. She hated crying, and in public she hated it more.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Life is a series of calculated risks, James. I happen to think that this one is worth it.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“I know you're frustrated, Sam, but the reality is you're in a world now where the majority of the people you run into will be able to snap you like a twig."

"My world was like that before.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Thanks for not talking with your fists,” I said. I have a little sister, and I’m not sure I’d be as understanding with any of her boyfriends.
“I’ve seen you fight,” he said, turning. “It would’ve been a terribly short conversation.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Fear, left unchecked, can spread like a virus.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone



“That’s what happens when you force someone to choose. Maybe they pick option A, maybe they pick option B, but most will go for a third option that isn’t asking them to pick favorites in the first place.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Homework, classes, running around, and then—bam—nothing but a life of work stretching out before you. No one prepares you for that feeling or even mentions it. You just suddenly have a gap and have to decide how to fill it.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Hey, you called me Sam. My actual name. Not Master or dumbass—”

“I have never in my life called anyone dumbass.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Now, focus.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Douglas’s fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. I’m not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it every time I came into the kitchen.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping up.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone



“Iced coffee, on a hot day, can perform miracles.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Even if Douglas was trying to sacrifice me and harvest my creepy powers at the time, I feel like killing people for doing awful things is probably setting a bad precedent for dealing with negative behavior.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter how crappy your life, someone will probably beat you in the my-life-is-crap category. Not that I don't let myself whine a little now and then, but sometimes it's good to keep your misery in perspective”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“You couldn’t really tell people you weren’t out performing your civic duties because you were too busy raising the dead.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Please stop,” I said politely—he was that big. One should always mind one’s manners around big things.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone



“I had no idea what I was paying James, but based on his picnic-assembling skills alone, he needed a raise.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Sam, you need experts on this, and I love you, but—”
“I’m so new I have that new-car smell about me?”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, I’d met a girl—I mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in cages these days. I would have liked to see Brid fill out a dating questionnaire, though. What would she put? “Hi, my name is Bridin Blackthorn. I’m next in line to rule the local werewolf pack. I like long walks on the beach and destroying my enemies. I have four older brothers, so watch your step. We’ll be forming a queue to the left for potential suitors.”
And, trust me, there would be a queue.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Sometimes life offers you up that kind of dichotomy, that soul-shearing rift of two very different things happening at once.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“Essentially, the whole time I’d been here, the security staff hadn’t been paid. I would have been harassing the management too, though I probably would have started with a discussion and not so much jumping straight to peeing on someone’s bed. You have to work up to that sort of thing. Still, I had essentially staged a hostile takeover, which did kind of explain why they’d been going on the offensive.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone



“He was not used to being at a loss. Usually, he was the gentleman with the plan. Every little detail cataloged and put in its place. But now he had no place, and the details were everywhere.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“He got in my face and started jabbing a finger into my chest. “Then we don’t want your help, if this is what it looks like. First you bring a human among us, and now this? I don’t like your kind, and I’m not the only one. They can’t be trusted. You can’t be trusted.” He drew the last word out, practically hissing it. That’s our Eric. What a charmer. Ladies, try not to swoon.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“You could keep someone physically alive with machines, but that didn't qualify as fully alive. If they were missing that spark, that intangible thing that made people who they were, then they weren't really with this world anymore. They had moved on, despite the desperate pumping and whirring of modern medicine's machinery.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“We found James standing in front of the crypt, leaning against the side nonchalantly, like it was no big deal—like he hung out in cemeteries every day. Of course, working for Douglas, he probably had.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone


“If she ran, at least her body still had motion, even if her brain was mired under responsibility.”
― Lish McBride, quote from Necromancing the Stone



About the author

Lish McBride
Born place: The United States
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