“Ben, I don’t want to take your freedom. I just want a place in your world. An important one.”
He craned his neck, tipping my chin up to make me look at him at the same time. “Sweetheart, you’ve been important since day one.”
“You can have my time, and you can have my attention,” he said, words slow and deliberate. “Sweetheart, you can have whatever the fuck you want, I promise. Whatever you need. No more holding back, no more fear. And if you still feel you have to get on that plane tonight, then we’re doing it together.”
“She’s the girl you put a baby in, asshole. And if she’s been going through half the shit Lena’s been dealing with, then you are just about the lowest cunt I’ve come across in a long time for making her do it alone.”
“Why are you here?” I reached back behind my head and grabbed his wrists, stilling him. “Ben?”
“Because apparently I’m shit at staying away from you.”
“Then I guess we have a problem.” Our fingers meshed, holding on tight.
“That’s putting it fucking mildly.”
“You’re giving him a place to belong, things to plan for, a life outside of all of this. Idiot didn’t even realize he needed it, but he does. You’re grounding him. No one else has given him that in a long time.”
“With all the skill and speed of a seasoned maile stripper, Mal turned on his heel. “And you, young lady! You are grounded until further notice.”
“I’m grounded?”
“Babe.” Anne winced. “That’s not going to fly.”
“And you are never to talk to Ben again. He is clearly a very bad influence on you.” The drummer continued, obvlicious, sneering at his former friend. “Is that understood, Elizabeth?”
Lauren snickered.
“Yeah. Okay,” I said.
“Good.”
“Get out,” I said.”
“Dicks don't have brains. It's why men get into trouble”
“Relax.”
“You try relaxing with a huge boner rubbing against your back. I’m trying to break up with you – not that we’re even together – and your penis is not helping.”
“I'd never needed to know that my sister was a screamer. Never. That Mal was a screamer too just kind of confused me.”
“Give him to me," said Anne. "Not everybody wants to French kiss the dog, Mal." The blond, heavily tattooed man grinned, handing the fur baby over. "But he's a great kisser. I taught him myself.”
“People with low self-esteem fear love. (Yep. Psychology degree rears its head again.) They doubt another person’s ability to appreciate them, because they don’t see the worth in themselves.”
“I don’t want to take your freedom. I just want a place in your world. An important one.”
“He might as well be dressed in furs and carrying a spear, presenting me with the boar he’d caught for dinner. Ah, good old-fashioned Stone Age romance.”
“What do I do?”
“Give me a chance to catch up.”
I just stared at him, trying to keep my cool. Took two to tango, yada yada.
“I’m serious.” His shoulders heaved up and down. “Just give me a chance to catch up and I promise, Lizzy, I will have your back.”
“He gave me a long look. “Any time. If you need something, I want you to tell me. That’s the only way this is going to work.”
“Okay.” I needed his naked body at my disposal. Now.
“I want total honesty from you, okay?”
“Total honesty.” So help me, I’d ride him all the way home and back again.”
“But how the hell was I to know Ben would bring along a gynecological psychic?”
“Dreamy dark eyes pinned me in place owning me. He licked his lips. Every time he did that my hormones erupted into the song of joy, a full orchestra plus heavenly choir accompanying. The whole shebang. It was ridiculous.”
“Lord of the Sex strikes again!”
“Still not breaking eye contact, he slid a finger into me. “You’re very wet.”
“Yeah. You know, it’s kind of hard to focus on relationship talk when you’re fingering me.”
“We can talk all you want later. Promise.”
“’kay.” I made a pitiful noise in my throat…
“I mean, you got hot for me in Vegas. But this…Sweetheart, Christ, this is fucking awesome.”
“I masturbate. A lot.”
“apparently someone had diddled away their shift at the prophylactics factory and here we were. Pregnant.”
“No way. I still get these horrible flashbacks of that night and wake up crying, terrified that some sexed-up howler monkey is going to attack me.”
“Why does it always come down to sex with women in the media?”
“If I could just keep my legs shut I might yet win this battle. It seemed an insurmountable task, given the array of his arsenal. The size of his artillery. One hand dived down further, stroking between my legs, while the other held the back of my head. I was helpless, the battle lost. God, I sucked.”
“None other than Malcolm Ericson, drummer for worldwide renowned rock group Stage Dive, had somehow shacked up with my sister. My quiet, calm, color-within-the-lines-or-else sister.”
“I don’t want to take your freedom. I just want a place in your world. An important one.” He”
“My heart had made its decision and there was no going back. Still, it was hard not to be all bitter and betrayed over his announcement. I didn’t even have the luxury of being able to get blind rotten drunk. And believe me, dealing with all this sober sucked.”
“I’d kind of already been expecting the worst, to be in this alone. Now I knew. Twice he’d disappointed me; this couldn’t be a surprise. Nothing had changed, not really.”
“A wounded heart was apparently no competition for an overeager vagina.”
“You’re beautiful. Relax.” “You try relaxing with a huge boner rubbing against your back. I’m trying to break up with you—not that we’re even together—and your penis is not helping.”
“I might only come up to his shoulder, but god damn would I make bending down worth his while.”
“She saw now that he was like an illusionist who captivated women with a little sleight of hand and once she had seen the mechanism it had lost all power for her.”
“all sin without distinction — is lawlessness.”
“Wissen Sie, es ist ein ganz wunderbares, wollüstiges Gefühl, wenn man nicht mehr zweifelt!”
“How's your scratch, Henri?" I asked.
He snorted and leaned against the dresser. "You mean the shotgun blast in my side? It's wonderful. I have about eighty pellet-size scars to show for it."
"Dude," Dub said, plopping down in one of the chairs, "Who gets shot with their own gun? Embarrassing, if you ask me."
Henri gave Dub's chair a hard shove with his foot. Dub laughed, and Henri rolled his eyes.”
“Remember how, back in 1990, if you used a cellphone in public you looked like a total asshole? We're all assholes now.”
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