Almost Like Being in Love

It doesn't matter what people thinks of you as long as you know that your heart and head are in the right place.

Romance isn't just about roses or killing dragons or sailing a kayak around the world. It's also about chocolate chip cookies and sharing The Grateful Dead and James Taylor with me in the middle of the night, and believing me when I say that you could be bigger than both of them put together, and not making fun of me for straightening out my french fries or pointing my shoelaces in the same direction, and letting me pout when I don't get my own way, and pretending that if I play "Flower Drum Song" one more time you won't throw me and the record out the window

Falling hard for somebody makes you do things you never thought you'd do before. Like pulling off an A in History or finally facing the truth about yourself

We make families of our own, Travis whispered in my arms on the last night we spent together. It starts with you and me and then it spreads. And whatever happens, there’ll always be a part of me that’s part of you. No matter what.

REAL LIFE vs THE MOVIES Breaking Up in the Movies: Boy #1: This isn’t working out, is it? Boy #2: Sort of not, huh? Boy #1: You can’t say we didn’t try. Boy #2: We sure did. Besides, we’re still best friends. Boy #1: Forever. Boy #2: This is terrific pasta. Breaking Up for Real: Boy #1: Are you asleep? Boy #2: Does it sound like it? Boy #1: I’m sorry about the tuna fish. Boy #2: It isn’t the tuna fish! It’s the last six months! Boy #1: You’re an asshole. Boy #2: Let go of my cock.

TRAVIS: I never said I like boys! GORDO: Ever beat off to Penthouse? TRAVIS: No. GORDO: Ever collect baseball cards? TRAVIS: No. GORDO: How old is Barbra Streisand? TRAVIS: 36. Three weeks ago. GORDO:What do you need—a fucking blueprint?

You got a boyfriend or something?” I hate it when he figures me out before I have a chance to do it myself. Especially when I’ve been counting on at least seven more years of denial.

It's a lot easier to patch things up with somebody when he doesn't even know you were pissed off at him in the first place.

Oh, no. This has "marriage" written all over it. Travis, read my lips: remember that Fellini film with the prostitute who says that every new sunrise makes her a virgin? It doesn't work that way with me. Even the sun thinks I'm a slut.

It would have served me right if I'd had a cerebral aneurysm on the spot. Instead, I forgot all about my foot--until we shoved the flat onto the stage. I think we broke my ankle. This is bullshit. I have finals to worry about.

When T falls in love, he does it with the whole world at once.

PROFESSOR:What do we call a patient with paranoid schizophrenic tendencies who still manages to assimilate himself into the social structure? CRAIG: A Republican.

What I don’t understand is how come I got seven thousand chromosomes that make me smart and not a single one that makes me cool.

After you've spent four years kissing somebody's perineum, the subtext talks louder than words.

How come you kept them from smithereening me when we didn’t even know each other yet?” “You never saw your ass in football pants. It would have been like letting them take a jackhammer to the Mona Lisa.

Strong Points: I could definitely spend the rest of my life with him. Shortcomings: He killed his last boyfriend (acquitted: involuntary manslaughter). Comments: The knockout blonde he kept having lunch with wasn’t his lover—she was his attorney. Serves me right for spying on him.

Hey Trav, When I first got in this course, I didn’t want a pervert teaching me. Now I don’t mind. —Tony

My mother claims she didn’t raise her son to settle down with a construction foreman who operates his own hardware chain. Even with the M.B.A. from Harvard. But it’s not really the blue-collar thing that crawled up her ass. She and Clayton haven’t agreed on anything since she found out he makes more money than she does.

And as long as I’m being brutally candid, I only wound up teaching American History because I followed a cute ass into the country-and-western section at Barnes & Noble

Scientists didn't need to figure this out—Travis did it for them.

Would you care to comment on the complexities of the relationship between Heathcliff and Catherine?” Yeah, about as much as I’d care to have a Fleet enema, sir.

If I weren't so depressed, I'd kill myself.

But he still has my heart - and if he's not using it, I want it back. Otherwise I'm going to go on loving him for the rest of my life. And there's not a damn thing either one od us can do about it.

[...]and at first I couldn’t tell if he liked it or not. It was only after I’d finished “Light My Fire” that he sort of yelped and wrestled me to the ground (translation: he liked it). But I pinned him first. (Grin.)

It would have served me right if I’d had a cerebral aneurysm on the spot. Instead, I forgot all about my foot—until we shoved the flat onto the stage. I think we broke my ankle. This is bullshit. I have finals to worry about.

Mr. McKenna: In the unlikely event that you achieved this of your own accord without any outside assistance, you’re to be commended. Otherwise, disregard the accolade.

Mr. Puckett,” he grunted, with snakes coming out his eyes, “have you something to say?” Boy, did he ever.