Quotes from Neanderthal Seeks Human

Penny Reid ·  403 pages

Rating: (36.1K votes)


“« Quote of the day: “Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it but only you can feel it».”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“You make me want to be less of an asshole.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“I decided, as I succumbed to sleep, that men should come with manuals, subtitles, and reset buttons.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“Since I spent much of my childhood being left behind and ignored, one might think that, as an adult, moments of perceived abandonment would feel old hat. The truth is, as an adult, I am always waiting to be left behind. I’m always ready to be discarded and, therefore, I spend a significant amount of time preparing for this eventuality.
I lower my expectations, I don’t seek out meaningful relationships, and I don’t engage in any sort of real intimacy, physical or otherwise.
Engage is the key word here. Except, when I engage, when it happens, when I’m left behind it doesn’t feel old hat. It feels like it did the first time and it takes me by surprise. So, I don’t let it happen.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human



“We see the strengths and faults in others that we do not or cannot recognize in ourselves.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“She said I owned the clothes of a radiologist and the shoes of an OBGYN; which is like the medical doctor equivalent of saying that I dressed like a librarian with a propensity of fuckmeboots.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“I have no desire to cherish each person's bullshit and call it a beautiful snowflake.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“If we were in Victorian England I would have called him dashing;but, since we lived in the 21st century I would have to settle for the wordier GQ model hot.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“Almost immediately I told that voice to go eat shit and die.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human



“If I were a function, you would be my asymptote. I always tend toward you.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“He didn’t save us ; haven’t you been listening?” Elizabeth held an icepack to her chin where she’d been hit by an meaty elbow . “Fiona stabbed one of them with a Susan Bates needle, Marie was wielding a tequila bottle, Sandra pistol-whipped the other, and I shot the third.”

“Where were Janie and Kat?” Ashley looked from me to Kat.

“Hiding behind the couch like sane people!” Kat said before anyone else could speak.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“It means my brain finds you more interesting than all the really interesting trivial facts I could be contemplating or researching at present.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“We fought over the bill when it came. By fought I mean: I insisted loudly on paying half and he responded with beleaguered silence. Instead of discussing it or attempting to engage in my one-sided conversation, he wordlessly put his credit card in the holder; he kept it carefully out of my reach as I continued to list all the reasons we should split the check, not the least of which was that we’d agreed earlier that this was not a date,
then handed it stealthily to the waiter as he passed. I was still oblivious, making my case, when Quinn signed the receipt.“Wait- what are you doing?” I looked from him to the paper slip.Silence. Scribble. Silence. “Did you just sign that? Was that the check?” My voiced hitched, my eyes wide with pseudo outrage. He glanced up at me, something like mock innocence lighting his features, and said, “I’m sorry. Did you want to split that?”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“God, Quinn, you have no idea how permanent I’d like this to be. I’d like us to be Twinkies and cockroaches, death and taxes. But I…”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human



“I was determined to stay off the see-saw of crazy”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“I had reclusive tendencies for a reason, I couldn’t be trusted to live in the world and make decisions on my own.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“My upstairs brain and my downstairs brain engaged in a game of risk and it was downstairs’ turn to roll the dice.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“And when you’re ready to cut his balls off, I will provide the knife.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“I didn’t like trusting, I didn’t like setting greater than mild expectations,”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human



“That is why I don't want a cell phone. I don't want a droopy fin.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“However, the more stressful my situation is, the less I think about it, or anything related to it. At present , I thought about how the elevators were like mechanical horses, and I wondered if anyone loved them or named them.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“... It wasn't my finest moment, but I rolled my eyes and actually huffed. "Fine, don't answer. I don't even know why I asked."
"No, I am not having sex with anyone."
"Oh." I shrugged nonchalantly, but for some reason his response filled me with glee. It was as if a unicorn had appeared beneath a double rainbow and started tap dancing.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“I wondered what steps I could take to remove the word ‘moisture’ or even ‘moist’ from the English language; I really hated the way it sounded and always went out of my way to avoid saying it. I also really didn’t like the word slacks,”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“Dan was shorter than me, especially as I was wearing sky blue silk stilettos. He appeared to be my age or a few years older,stocky, and thick necked with swirling tattoos just visible beneath the blue collar of his uniform.Dan gave me a plain once over as he walked me to an elevator and placed his palm against a glass screen. The screen retracted to reveal keypad. Dan then punched in a series of numbers and he said- “You’re very big.”I gave him a cursory smile, “Yes. I ate all my vegetables as a child.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human



“I was planning to sort my comic books based on level of second wave feminist influence.” “As opposed to first wave?” “Yes, well, Susan B. Anthony laid the foundation for those who have come after. It’s all really interrelated but she didn’t have direct influence over late twentieth century comics.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“It’s nice to hear your voice…?” The statement came out sounding like a question, as though I
were playing jeopardy and I’d chosen my category-
‘I’ll take ‘Charming Chit Chat’ for $200, Alex’ and behind the $200 read: ‘This is what you say
to the hot guy- you abandoned- when he returns after you inexplicably leave him and his private
jet in Las Vegas after having amazing and multiple occurrences of the hot sex.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“The dreams were the troubling kind where I thought the action and events were genuine while asleep; upon waking and in retrospect I realized they were obviously completely implausible.The one I remembered most intensely upon waking was about losing my teeth. The fragments of bone continually fell out of my mouth every time I opened it to speak; and they ran away- though they had no legs- which, in the dream, sent me into a panic.
There is nothing quite like watching one’s own legless teeth running away.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“He lifted a single eyebrow as he adjusted his pants, zipping his fly. The sound made my back stiffen and I realized how close we’d just been to copulating in the back of a car.
“I think you look good just like that.”
I stared at him for two seconds before I smacked him on his infuriatingly well-muscled shoulder.
“My shirt is ripped open and…” I frantically twisted in my seat and may have shrieked, “Where are my underwear?!”
There was no amusement in his voice when he responded, “Someplace safe.”
My eyes widened further and, I knew, my mouth hung open dumbly. I was about to lose my mind.
“Give them back-”
“You don’t need them-”
“-to me right now-”
“-and you should try new things-”
“I am not leaving this limo while commando!”
The passenger door on Quinn’s side opened and I yanked the skirt I was wearing back to my midcalf.
I didn't miss his dark smile when it was clear that I was not likely to push the underwear issue further until we were in private. And, by then, it likely wouldn't matter.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human


“When we unloaded the last box Vincent surprised me by taking my hand and placing a kiss on my knuckles. His deep chocolate eyes gazed into mine as he spoke with an air of knowing wisdom, “If I ever cheated on my wife I think she’d have cut my balls off. If you don’t want to castrate this guy after what he’s done then he’s not the one for you.” he nodded as though affirming the truth of his words.”
― Penny Reid, quote from Neanderthal Seeks Human



About the author

Popular quotes

“When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It’s thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others.”
― Richard Carlson, quote from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life


“Welcome to Sanctuary, my home and the focus of the Imperials, whom I serve and direct. This is an island of force in Free Alaska, of the planet Earth, and the system of mankind.

We are those who wage eternal war against tyranny. We are those who choose death over submission. Freedom over oppression. And honor always.

Choose our values, and you will have found a friend. Choose to control a free spirit and we will control you. Decide for others and we will decide for you.

Use force against the vulnerable and our force will render you helpless. Practice coercion and we will oppress you.

Bring strife to mankind and we will bring you war!

Now is the time for your misgivings and complaints. Now is the time for you to voice your concerns and your apprehensions. Stand now and speak in freedom. Speak your mind and you will be heard. If you be injured, say now by whom. If you seek redress and your cause be just, I will stand with you. If a wrong can be righted, I will undertake that task. If it is I that have offended, show me my error and I will correct it.

This is also the time for blood, if blood is what you seek. Here you can fight, if only combat will give you satisfaction. Here you can win in trial by ordeal, but here too you can lose. If your cause be as important as life itself to you, it is here you can wager your life. Fairness is intended, but beware that here lies the intent to prevail.|

Your cause, if true, would be better served by reason, for with reason the Imperials can be moved. Force is the resort of passion, but passion may serve evil or good. Here it serves us and we will stand by its consequences even if it takes us all from the Earth.

It is said where you find those who live by the sword you will find those who die by the sword. Look no further. You have found those who make such a choice for their life.

You have found the Imperials. I am their Voice.

Speak for yourself now if you will.”
― William C. Samples, quote from Fe Fi FOE Comes


“...
'Because sentence against a bad deed has not been executed speedily, the heart of men becomes emboldened to do bad.'

– Ecclesiastes 8:11”
― quote from New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures


“From whom but the Devil did this advice come under which you are acting? Those who are urging you to repeat your former wrongdoings against an innocent person are seeking in this not your honour but their own convenience. They are clearly the enemies of your crown and the disturbers of your realm.”
― Alison Weir, quote from Eleanor of Aquitaine: A Life


“He had never talked to her this way before, his soft voice underlaid with with steel. Amanda had no choice but to believe him. She wanted to rail and scream, her frustration escalating to an unbearable pitch. To her utter self-disgust, she found herself near tears, like the witless heroines of the sensation novels she had always enjoyed making jest of. Her mouth trembled as she struggled to control her explosive emotions.
Jack saw that sign of weakness, and something in his face relaxed. "Don't cry. There is no need for tears, mhuirnin," he said in a gentler tone.”
― Lisa Kleypas, quote from Suddenly You


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