Deadlocked

It’s called Two and a Half Men,” Dermot was telling his guest. “I understand,” Bellenos said. “Because the two brothers are grown, and the son isn’t.” “I think so,” Dermot said. “Don’t you think the son is useless?” “The half? Yes. At home, we’d eat him,” Bellenos said.

My favorite fantasy? You come down into my daytime resting place stark naked," he said, and I could see the gleam of his teeth as he smiled. "Oh, wait," Bill said. "That's already happened.

I so seldom had to dispose of a human body myself, I was at a loss. Fairies turned into dust, and vampires flaked away. Demons had to be burned. Humans were very troublesome.

And that's your fantasy? That I come into your house naked and have sex with you?" "After that, you tell me that you have sent Eric on his way, that you want to be mine forever, and that to share my life you will permit me to make you a vampire like me." The silence now was thick, and the fun had drained out of the fantasy. Then Bill added, "You know what I'd say when you told me this? I'd tell you I would never do such a thing. Because I love you.

Appius Livius Ocella made mistakes in his whole long existence. Perhaps changing Eric was his finest hour. He created the perfect vampire. Eric's only flaw is you.

We came to wish you a happy day,” Eric said. “And I suppose, as usual, Bill will want to express his undying love that surpasses my love, as he’ll tell you—and Pam will want to say something sarcastic and nearly painful, while reminding you that she loves you, too.” Bill and Pam looked decidedly miffed at Eric’s preemptive strike, but I wasn’t going to let anything dim my mood. “And what about you, Eric?” I asked on counterattack. “Are you going to tell me that you love me just as much as Bill, but in a practical way, while finding some way to subtly threaten me and simultaneously remind me that you may be leaving with Freyda?

Pam said, "Sookie, I brought you something, too. I never thought I'd want to spend time with a human, but you're more tolerable than most ...

If this were the fifties, she’d be checking Sam’s collars for lipstick stains. (Did people do that anymore? Why did women kiss collars, anyway? Besides, Sam almost always wore T-shirts.)

Trees had died to make these forms, and that seemed a great pity to me.

I love him," I said, but even to my own ears I didn't sound happy about it.

What are you, Zen Master Fang?

I think it's 'only polite' that my wife should let me know when she's entertaining a male visitor, furthermore one that has shared her bed.

Not a creature was stirring, not even an elf.

The night swelled with magic; not the beneficent kind of love-magic that sweeps couples away, but the kind of magic that rips and tears, the enchantment that creeps out of the woods and pounces.

But I have no sex feelings about you, and I kind of feel the sleeping-together thing is just odd. So we're not doing the fairy sleep-athon of comfort anymore.

That was an idea I didn't want to have. But you can't erase a thought; once you've had it, it's there to stay.

I could just envision Sam imagining that I wanted him to go out to the lake with me, only to be confronted by Jannalynn and whatever she thought of as a romantic dinner -- live rabbits they could chase together, maybe.

For a moment they all looked at Dermot incredulously, as if he'd just announced he was going to birth a kangaroo.

You have a nice day, you hear?

Do you want a drink?” “You mean synthetic blood,” she said after a slight hesitation. “Yes, that would be nice. A sociable gesture.” “I’m all about the gestures. Bubba, you, too?” “Yes, ma’am, I reckon so,” he said.

But the last few years had taught me that one of my grandmother’s favorite sayings was true. An ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure.

The fae were gone from America. Their departure point? Bon Temps, Louisiana. The woods behind my house.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me,

Eric shone like the moon; he was pale and commanding, and there was a large empty space around him. He was alone. He held out his hand to me, and I took it, to a flare of dismay from the twoeys.