Ten Big Ones

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you." "You are such a cop." "Tell me about it.

Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.

I wanted to tell you I....uh, like you." Shit. I chickened out! What was it with me that I couldn't say the big L word? I am such a dope. Morelli sighed into the phone. "You are such a dope.

I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. "It was all because of the shower gel," I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. "Shower gel?" I made a major effort not to sigh. "Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.

If you buy chocolate with loose change the calories don’t count.

Morelli grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me to him, and kissed me. It was a great kiss, but I didn't know what the heck it meant. It seemed to me a breaking up kiss would have had less tongue.

...life is a jelly donut. You don't really know what it's about till you bite into it. And then, just when you decide it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best t-shirt.

Hey," Lula said to Ranger's man."You want to watch it? I just had my hair done. I don't need plaster in it. Next time just shoot a hole is this punk-ass loser, will you?

Men!" I said. "You all a bunch of chauvinist morons" Stephanie Plum - Ten Big Ones

Shirley's gonna be pissed," Gazarra said. "She hates when I get shot." To my recollection, the only other time Gazarra was shot was when he was playing quick draw in the police station elevator and his gun accidentally discharged. The bullet ricocheted off the elevator wall and lodged in Gazarra's right buttock.

I was standing with my back to the door, and I saw Connie’s eyes go wide. “Be still my heart,” Lula said, looking past me, through the window to the sidewalk. I figured they were looking at either Johnny Depp or Ranger. My money was on Ranger.

Play the role,” Lula said. “That’s what we do. We pick a role and we play it. What role you want to play?” “I want to be smart, and I want to be brave.” “Go for it,” Lula said.

I have you listed under entertainment,” Ranger said,

Probably Ranger wouldn’t even mind that I was here. After all, he’s slept in my bed and used my shower. Of course, I was in them at the time.

I don’t know what this country’s coming to when an old lady can’t keep a gun in her purse.

We’re not secretive about the office buildings, but we try to keep a low profile.” “We?” “I have partners.” “Let me guess—the Justice League. The Flash, Wonder Woman, and Superman.” Ranger looked like he was thinking about smiling.

The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don’t really know what it’s about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decide it’s good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt. My

Babe,” Ranger said, wrapping his arms around me, gathering me close to him.

Powder blue is a sissy color.

drawn, eyes wide. “Holy Toledo,” she said. “I called everyone I could think of while I was driving,” Sally said.

I had dinner at your parents' house three days ago and once a week is my limit. Joe to Stephanie.

It says here she held up a Frito-Lay truck?” “Apparently she was on that no-carbohydrate diet, got her period and snapped when she saw the truck parked in front of a convenience store. Just got whacked out at the thought of all those chips. She threatened the driver with a nail file, filled her car with bags of Fritos, and took off, leaving the driver standing there in front of his empty truck.

Everyone crossed themselves at the mention of the IRS. Street gangs and the mob paled in comparison to fear of the tax code.

fault.” Ranger tightened his hold on my neck.

Shirley’s gonna be pissed,” Gazarra said. “She hates when I get shot.” To my recollection, the only other time Gazarra was shot was when he was playing quick draw in the police station elevator, and his gun accidentally discharged. The bullet ricocheted off the elevator wall and lodged in Gazarra’s right buttock.