Burnt Offerings

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright.

Life's a bitch,” I said. “And then you die,” Larry finished for me.

Questions are great, but only if you know the answers. If you ask questions and the answers surprise you, you look silly.

I will bathe in your warmth ma petite. Roll you around me until my heart beats only for you. My breath will grow warm from your kiss.

Asher was a vampire. How much more dangerous could he be with a gun? But I couldn't do it. "Let me test my understanding. Is Asher going to ride in the car with us to the meeting?" I must to give you directions," Asher said. Then lean against the Jeep." He frowned at me in an amused, condescending sort of way. Excuse me?" I don't care if you're the second coming of the Antichrist, you can't sit behind me in my own car until I know you're not carrying a weapon." Asher smiled briliantly at both of us, flashing fang. ...I could rip you into pieces with my bare hands, and you're worried I have a gun?" He chuckled, a low, skin-prickling sound. "That is so very cute.

So just tell me what you like on the menu, and we'll negotiate." All that is required is that you taste what is ordered. You do not have to eat it." No, no more of this tasting shit. I've gained weight. I never gain weight." You have gained four pounds, so I am told. Though I have searched diligently for this phantom four pounds and cannot find them. It brings your weight up to a grand total of one hundred and ten pounds, correct?" That's right." Oh, ma petite, you are growing gargantuan." I looked at him, and it was not a friendly look.

When you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. It ruins the effect

He ordered food with a childlike glee and watched me eat, tasting it as I did. In private he'd roll on his back like a cat, hands pressed to his mouth as if trying to drain every taste. It was the only thing he did that was cute. He was gorgeous, sensual, but rarely cute. - Anita Blake about Jean-Claude

Mercy will get you killed, but sometimes it's all that makes us human.

He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said.

Oh, ma petite, you are growing gargantuan." I looked at him and it was not a friendly look. "Never tease a woman about her weight, Jean-Claude. At least not an American twentieth-century one." He Spread his hands wide. "My deepest apologies." "When you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. It ruins the effect.

I'm not sure there are enough white roses in the world to make me forget Richard." I held up my hand before she could interrupt. "But I'm not sure there are enough cozy afternoons in all eternity to make me forget Jean-Claude.

Nothing is certain, ma petite, not even death." - Jean-Claude

Every time I thought I understood the rules, they changed. Why was it that the damn rules always seemed to change for the worse?

It's not the fur or the fangs that make you a monster, not always. Sometimes, it's just where you draw the line.

She looked up at me, eyes puffy, nose running. Real crying is like real sex. If you really do it, it isn't pretty.

we’re all creatures of light and darkness. Embracing your darkness won’t kill the light. Goodness is stronger than that.

They all piled into Kevin’s and Teddy’s cars, and I went for my Jeep. Happy to be rid of them for a while. Happy even if it meant another crime scene. Happy even if I still didn’t know how to tell if Malcolm was alive down there in the dark. Nathaniel watched me through the back window of the car, his lilac gaze on me until the car turned a corner. He’d been lost, and now he thought he’d been found. But if he expected me to be more than friends, he was still lost.

Is he your only child? I asked, "my only son" padma said. "My condolences" I said....Anita Blake

I got my shoulder holster complete with Browning Hi-Power out of the top desk drawer and slipped it on. Since I’d stopped wearing my suit jacket in the office, I’d put the gun in the drawer, but outside the office and always after dark I wore a gun. Most of the creatures that had scarred me up were dead. The majority I’d done personally. Silver-plated bullets are a wonderful thing.

Nathaniel was in the other bed. His hair was longer than Stephen’s. Waist length, I was betting. Hard to judge since I’d only seen him prone. It was the darkest of auburns, almost brown but not. It was a rich, deep mahogany. The hair lay on the white sheets like the pelt of an animal, thick and shining. He

Bet I can blow a hole in your chest before you can crush my leg." "You wouldn't dare." "Why not?" I asked. A touch of fear flowed through his eyes. "I am the human servant of a council member." "Not impressed," I said. "Try door number two.

I laughed. I laughed while his lips hovered over my mouth and the gun pressed into his body. It was the laughter, not the gun, that made him draw back. Hannah collapsed to her knees. The Traveler had gone. Someone needed to help her to the stairs. I thought of Willie and he came. He helped her to her feet without looking at me. I kept my eyes on the bad guys. One problem at a time. “Why are you laughing?” Fernando asked. “Because you are too fucking stupid to survive.” I drew back from them, the gun still pointed at him. “Is he your only son?” I asked. “My only child,” Padma said. “My condolences,” I said. No, I didn’t shoot him. But staring into Fernando’s angry eyes, I knew there’d be other opportunities. Some people seek death through desperation. Some people fall into it out of stupidity. If Fernando wanted to fall, I was more than happy to catch him.

It is all right to be a lady, Anita. It is not a bad thing being a woman.” “You try being one, then talk to me,” I said. I hung up. “My lady” sounded like my dog. Ownership. I was his human servant. Short of killing him, I couldn’t change that. But I didn’t belong to him. If I belonged to anybody, I belonged to me. And that was how I was going to approach the council, as me: Anita Blake, vampire executioner, police liaison for the monsters. They wouldn’t listen to Jean-Claude’s human servant, but they might listen to me.

He raised his gloved hands skyward, still smiling. He was a hard man to insult, because I’d been trying. He had this sort of cheerful goodwill that seemed to deflect everything. Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright. Wren didn’t strike me as stupid. Insult

It wasn’t hard to spot Dolph. Pete McKinnon was standing with them. It was like walking towards two small mountains. Dolph

A tall, thin fireman with a grey mustache watched me stride across the street. He was still wearing a helmet and coat in the July heat. Four others had stripped down to T-shirts with just the rubbery-looking pants on. Someone had sprayed them down with water. They looked like an ad for a beefcake wet T-shirt contest.

One of the other firemen joined us. His damp T-shirt clung to a stomach that had required far too many sit-ups, but I enjoyed the view anyway. He was tall, broad-shouldered, blond, and looked like he should have been carrying a surfboard or visiting Barbie in her Malibu dream house. There was a smear of soot on his smiling face, and his eyes were red-rimmed. He offered his hand without being introduced. “I’m Wren.” No rank, just his name. Confident. He held my hand just a little longer than necessary. It wasn’t obnoxious, just interested. I dropped my eyes. Not out of shyness, but because some men mistake direct eye contact as a come-on. I had about as much beefcake on my plate as I could handle without adding amorous firemen. Captain

The leopards call me their Nimir-Ra, leopard queen. Me and Tarzan, huh? I