“The world isn’t perfect, and some days it wears you down. You can either accept that, and face it, and be a help to others instead of a hindrance. Or you can decide the rules are too tough and they shouldn’t apply to you, and you can ignore them and make things harder for everybody else. Sometimes life is about being sad and doing things anyway. Sometimes it’s about being hurt and doing things anyway. The point isn’t perfection. The point is doing it anyway.”
“I looked at Ethan and smiled a little.
“I love you,” he mouthed.
“I love you, too,” I mouthed back.
“And I’m nauseous,” Catcher grumbled. “Let’s get on with this. I am seriously in need of a beer and a Lifetime movie.”
“Merit: “I am yours until you ban bacon, or otherwise as long as I can put up with you.”
“Irresistible force. Immovable object. Choose the one you want to be, and do it.”
“Like an angel of justice taking them down with his giant sword of righteousness?”
“That sounds like the tagline for a bad porn flick.”
“You’ll be wearing nothing but your Cadogan medal and a smile, Sentinel.”
“Is that a prediction?”
“It’s a promise.”
“Girl, you’re the Sentinel of this House, and you’ve been trained by Catcher and Luc and Ethan. He’s in the training room right now. Get down there and kick his ass!”
“Don’t let my youthful good looks confuse you. I now have two lifetimes of experience”
“Let’s get on with this. I am seriously in need of a beer and a Lifetime movie.”
“I stood Sentinel of Cadogan House, by God. He was mine, and he knew it, and I would claim what was mine.”
“For now, with his emerald eyes locked on mine, where I was going didn't seem so scary.”
“Ethan chuckled. “And are you aware you keep looking over here like you’re nervous I’m going to disappear?”
“It’s because you’re devastatingly handsome.”
He grinned slyly. “I wasn’t questioning your good taste.”
“We all have days when we feel small. Really small. Completely inadequate but saddled with all this responsibility...I have to fight battles against people who shouldn't be my enemies - especially when there are allready plenty of enemies to go around. There are days when I would love to pull the cover over my head and say to hell with it.
But I don't do that. And most people don't do that. Most people get up and do their jobs and work their asses off for no reward at all - but just so they can get up the next day and do the whole thing over again. World isn't perfect, and some days it wears you down. You can either accept that, and face it, and be a help to others instead of a hindrance. Or you can decide the rules are too tough and they shouldn't apply to you, and you can ignore them and make things harder for everybody else. Sometimes life is about being sad and doing things anyway. Sometimes it's about being hurt and doing things anyway. The point isn't perfection. The point is doing it anyway.”
“Good find,” Ethan said. “Yeah,” Jeff agreed. “It’s pretty awesome. Like finding the Higgs boson.” Silence. “Aw, no physics fans here? Learn things you must,” Jeff said in his best Yoda voice. I rolled my eyes.”
“You are a universe,” he reverentially whispered, and then his game began. A game of pushing me to the brink, of building the anticipation... and leaving me stranded in the midst of it.”
“That’s tough. Anything I can do?”
“Just stay in play as my backup.”
I nearly swerved the car off the road. “I’m sorry—your backup?”
“You know, in case it doesn’t work out with Fallon.”
“And what about Ethan?”
Jeff chuckled. “I just figured he was your backup for me.”
“You know what I need?” I asked. “A chocolate fountain?” Ethan suggested. “A complete paper set of the Encyclopedia Britannica? A lifetime supply of grilled meat?” “I like all those ideas, but I was thinking a magical spray I can use on Mallory to wash the crazy off her.” “Like Lysol for evil?” Paige asked.”
“Morgan threw tantrums that would impress a two-year-old.”
“There are few things in the world that he loves more than this House, Merit. Possibly only one.” At the knowing gaze in his eyes, my cheeks flushed. “And in all the world, he entrusted one girl, one scholar, with the right to defend it.”
“Do you have a room preference?” I asked Ethan. “Whichever you prefer,” he said, “since I’ll be staying with you.” There was no equivocation in his voice. No question, no request for permission. It was a statement, an announcement of something he meant to do. Something he would do. “Of course you will,” I said. “It would be rude to muss two of her bedrooms. We might as well bunk up and save her the trouble.” Ethan rolled his eyes. “That isn’t exactly the reasoning I had in mind.” “Oh, I know,” I said, walking back to the first bedroom. “But if I don’t keep a check on your ego, you’ll become insufferable.” He made a sarcastic, but pleased, grunt.”
“Hello, everyone and Probies,” Jeff said. “Especially a very healthy Merit.” “Hello, my knight in shining armor,” I said, taking a seat. “Or at least my knight with a very shiny reflective blanket.”
“Girl! I hope you did lots of nasty with Our Dear Sullivan and made us all proud. Please bring him back in a good mood. And eager to give us all raises. We need shoes. Hearts, Lindsey.”
“Liege,” I said deferentially. “She’s more obsequious to you than she ever has been to me,” Ethan observed with a tilted eyebrow. “Better leadership skills,” Malik said with a smile,”
“If you use the word ‘halt,’ I will hit you.” “Not halt,” he breathlessly said. “Upstairs. Now.”
“I nearly bit one of them, and yadda yadda yadda, we learned they had nothing to do with the color change.” “You can’t yadda yadda yadda nearly biting a fairy,” Paige said.”
“The moral of the story? Don’t fuck with the magical order.”
“I was impressed that she looked so good on so little sleep. I’d have looked like a plague victim on a bad hair day.”
“I need gnome books. You know, because sorcerers just don’t get them.” He didn’t get the joke.”
“I managed to move a fallen angel off his target and sweet-talk a cop into giving me back my sword.”
“She was one of those Southerners who knew from an early age that the South could never be more for them than a fragrant prison, administered by a collective of loving but treacherous relatives.”
“I made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally three hundred and sixty five days a year, I was still in elementary school at the time - fifth or sixth grade - but I made up my mind once and for all.”
“Wow,” I said. “Did the search pay off?”
“That’s the hard part,” said Midori. She watched the rising smoke for a while, thinking. “I guess I’ve been waiting so long I’m looking for perfection. That makes it tough.”
“Waiting for the perfect love?”
“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”
“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.
“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are time in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”
“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”
“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. “Now I see, Midori. What a fool I have been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate Mousse? Cheesecake?”
“So then what?”
“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”
“Sounds crazy to me.”
“Well, to me, that’s what love is…”
“You love strapping me in, don’t you?”
“In any form,” he says, a wicked grin playing on his lips.
“You are a pervert.”
“I know.” He raises his eyebrows and his grin broadens.
“My pervert,” I whisper.
“Yes, yours.”
“Each person feels pain in his own way, each has his own scars.”
“You're just a bee charmer, Idgie Threadgoode. That's what you are, a bee charmer.”
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