“It was a lot easier when we could just brand'em," Ben said. "Then everybody'd know not to mess with our womenfolk.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“Well, I know better what I don’t want. I don’t want somebody who’s always nagging me to be something I’m not. And I don’t want somebody who thinks she knows what’s best for me and who maneuvers around trying to get me to do things her way.”
Kate frowned. “Nobody wants anyone like that. It’s like saying, ‘I don’t want someone who’ll poke me in the eye with a sharp stick.’ Forget what you don’t want. What do you want?”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“In the bad old days, men kept women from choosing to work. In the bad new days, women keep women from choosing to stay home.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“[…] I have a date this afternoon."
"Oh, Lord." Jake closed his eyes. "Who are you going to destroy now?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"The hotel would appreciate it if you'd just throw back the men you don't like without maiming them."
"I haven't maimed anyone."
"You almost drowned Lance, you scared Peter into heart palpitations, you stabbed Donald with a fork, and you hit Brad over the head with a bottle." Jake shook his head. "And they still ask you out.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“That woman needs protecting like Rambo needs a bodyguard.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“Kate picked up her coffee cup, frowning when she saw it was empty. "Did you drink my coffee?"
"Yes. I was feeling aggressive.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“Jake ignored him and went on. “If I ever do hook up with anybody again - and I sincerely doubt that I will, so wipe that hopeful look off your face - it will be with someone who thinks that being with somebody who mows lawns is her idea of heaven on earth and who will do exactly what I tell her to do and love it."
"I think Donna Reed is dead," Will said.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“At eleven, Kate woke Jake up when she went searching in the cooler for juice.
"You know, you used to be peaceful," he grumbled.
"I can't believe you were ever married." Kate said, as she cracked the can open. "What did you do, make her stand in the corner all the time?”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“The thing about women is that they got liberated too fast. They never learned to be straightforward about life because they had to sneak around for about a thousand years tricking men into doing things they wanted. So they manipulate you instead of telling you what they want, so you never know where the hell you are. And then they get mad at you and bitch.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“I'm fine," Kate said. "In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better."
"Bad deduction," Jessie said. "If that were true, I'd be dating Harrison Ford by now.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“Kid, I've only known you two days and I've seen you plastered three times." He shook his head. "A bar would not be a good career move for you.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“You know, I'm not even sure how we ended up living together."
"I am," Jake said, turning back to the lake. "Sex. It's a powerful force, my boy, and women use it."
"Is that why you gave them up?" Will asked, sympathetically. "Did paranoia drive you to celibacy?”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“Who was the moron on the phone?"
"Carl Avery," Kate said. "A long-standing client and potential felon.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“I don't want to be alone anymore, but I don't want to go out and cold-bloodedly look for a man, either." - Kate Svenson”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
“In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better.” “Bad deduction,” Jessie said. “If that were true, I’d be dating Harrison Ford by now.” “I’m”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Manhunting
Jennifer Crusie
Born place: Wapakoneta, Ohio, The United States
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“Nothing corrupts like happiness. It makes us think that since we share this moment, we can also share the past.”
― Peter Høeg, quote from Smilla's Sense of Snow
“Don't worry about it," I said."Hey werewolves gotta drool, vampires gotta eat..”
― Rachel Hawkins, quote from Hex Hall
“There are moments in every relationship that define when two people start to fall in love.
A first glance
A first smile
A first kiss
A first fall…
(I remove the Darth Vader house shoes from my satchel and look down at them.)
You were wearing these during one of those moments.
One of the moments I first started to fall in love with you.
The way you gave me butterflies that morning
Had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else,
and everything to do with you.
I was falling in love with you that morning
because of you.
(I take the next item out of the satchel. When I pull it out and look up, she brings her hands to her mouth in shock.)
This ugly little gnome
With his smug little grin…
He's the reason I had an excuse to invite you into my house.
Into my life.
You took a lot of aggression out on him over those next few months.
I would watch from my window as you would kick him over every time you walked by him.
Poor little guy.
You were so tenacious.
That feisty, aggressive, strong-willed side of you….
The side of you that refused to take crap from this concrete gnome?
The side of you that refused to take crap from me?
I fell in love with that side of you
because of you.
(I set the gnome down on the stage and grab the CD)
This is your favorite CD
‘Layken’s shit.’
Although now I know you intended for shit to be possessive, rather than descriptive.
The banjo started playing through the speakers of your car
and I immediately recognized my favorite band.
Then when I realized it was your favorite band, too?
The fact that these same lyrics inspired both of us?
I fell in love with that about you.
That had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.
I fell in love with that about you
because of you.
(I take a slip of paper out of the satchel and hold it up. When I look at her, I see Eddie slide her a napkin. I can’t tell from up here, but that can only mean she’s crying.)
This is a receipt I kept.
Only because the item I purchased that night was on the verge of ridiculous.
Chocolate milk on the rocks? Who orders that?
You were different, and you didn’t care.
You were being you.
A piece of me fell in love with you at that moment,
because of you.
This? (I hold up another sheet of paper.)
This I didn’t really like so much.
It’s the poem you wrote about me.
The one you titled 'mean?'
I don’t think I ever told you…
but you made a zero.
And then I kept it
to remind myself of all the things I never want to be to you.
(I pull her shirt from my bag. When I hold it into the light, I sigh into the microphone.)
This is that ugly shirt you wear.
It doesn’t really have anything to do with why I fell in love with you.
I just saw it at your house and thought I’d steal it.”
― Colleen Hoover, quote from Point of Retreat
“Hear me out. Would you eat a hamburger if there was any chance it could punch you in the face?
- How is a hamburger supposed to punch me in the face?
Just say that it can. Would you bother? Or would you eat something else?”
― Claudia Gray, quote from Evernight
“Ash brushed the hair from my neck and leaned close to my ear, his voice so soft not even Grimalkin could’ve heard it. “I love you,” he murmured, and my heart nearly burst out of my chest. “Whatever happens, we’re together now.
Always.”
― Julie Kagawa, quote from The Iron Queen
Phantoms
Veil of Midnight
The School for Good...
Salt to the Sea
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