“If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."
Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car has protective qualities"
You mean like a guardian angel?"
I mean, like, it has seatbelts”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.
Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week."
Carl Costanza - Hot Six”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“I’m going back to bed,” Grandma said when Mooner and Dougie left. “This doesn’t look too interesting. I liked it better the other night when you were on the floor with the bounty hunter.”
Morelli gave me the same kind of look Desi always gave Lucy when she’d just done something incredibly stupid.
“It’s a long story,” I said.
“I bet.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“you see what I'm saying?" Mooner said. "Something else always comes along. You go to jail, you don't have to worry about anything. No rent to pay. No food bill to sweat. Free dental plan. And that's worth something, dude.You don't wnat to stick your nose up at free dental.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross.
"I thought you were Baptist."
"Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Cooking wasn’t so bad, I thought. In fact, it was a lot like sex. Sometimes it didn’t seem like such a good idea in the beginning, but then after you got into it …”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“His pager beeped, and he looked at the readout. “I have to get back to Deal. Do you have any secret weapons in your arsenal? You want to make any last-ditch efforts at apprehension?”
Ugh. He was so smug! “I hate you,” I said.
“No, you don’t,” Ranger said, kissing me lightly on the lips.
“Why did you agree to meet me?” Our eyes locked for a moment. And then he cuffed me. Both hands behind my back.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Not that I've noticed." She looked down at my gun. "What a nice Glock. My sister carries a Glock, and she just loves it. I was thinking about trading in my .45, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My dead husband gave it to me for our first anniversary. Rest his soul.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Nice tackle, babe,” he said. And then he kissed me. No doubt about the intention this time. Not the sort of kiss you’d give your cousin, for instance. More like the sort of kiss a man would give a woman when he wanted to rip her clothes off and give her a reason to sing the Hallelujah Chorus.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Oh boy,” Lula said when she saw me. “Think we got a good story walking in the door, here. What’s with the handcuff?”
“I thought it would look good with the cheese balls in my hair. You know, dress up the outfit.”
“I hope it was Morelli,” Connie said. “I wouldn’t mind being cuffed by Morelli.”
“Close,” I said. “It was Ranger.”
“Uh-oh,” Lula said. “Think I just wet my pants.”
“It wasn’t anything sexual,” I said. “It was … an accident. And then we lost the key.”
Connie fanned herself with a manila folder. “I’m having a hot flash.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“Steph?”
“Huh?” I still had my hands on his stomach, and I could feel him laughing.
“I can smell something burning, babe. You must be thinking.”
It wasn’t my brain that was on fire. I felt around a little with my fingertips.
He shook his head. “Don’t encourage me. This isn’t a good time.” He removed my hands from his stomach and took another look at the cuts. “How did this happen?”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“He slid an arm around me and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his chest, and he nuzzled my hair and kissed me just above the ear.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“How did you know I was out with Bob? What are you, psychic?”
“Nothing that exotic. I called, and your grandma told me you were walking the dog.”
“Gee, that’s disappointing. Next thing you’ll be telling me you aren’t Superman.”
Ranger smiled. “You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“OKAY, SO HERE’S the thing. My mother’s worst fear has come true. I’m a nymphomaniac. I lust after a lot of men. Of course, maybe that’s because I don’t actually actually have sex with any. And some of my lustings probably aren’t”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“RANGER HAD BEEN Special Forces, and he still had the build and the carriage. He was standing close, forcing me to tip my head back ever so slightly to look into his eyes.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“I walked him to the door. “Is there anything else you want me to do? Check your mail? Water your plants?”
“My mail is being forwarded to my lawyer. And I’m watering my own plants.”
“So, you feel safe in the Batcave?” The corners of his mouth curved into the hint of a smile. He leaned forward and kissed me at the base of my neck, just above my T-shirt collar.
“Sweet dreams.” Before he left, he said good-night to Grandma, who was still in the kitchen.
“What a nice, polite young man,” Grandma said. “And he’s got an excellent package.”
I went straight to her closet, found the bottle of booze, and dumped some into my cocoa.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“His hands still held the windbreaker, his knuckles resting lightly on my breasts. An act of intimate possession more than of sexual aggression.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“I want you to leave the guns in the car.” “These are Trekkies we’re dealing with. They could put the Vulcan death grip on us.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
“I don't think I'm especially homophobic, but I draw the line at Batman.”
― Janet Evanovich, quote from Hot Six
Janet Evanovich
Born place: in South River, New Jersey, The United States
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“don’t build a park bench if you secretly love Frisbee.”
― Jon Acuff, quote from Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters
“Oggi penso talvolta che il vicino dell’Elefante poteva essere il futuro ufficiale della Gestapo che lo avrebbe torturato durante gli interrogatori. L’Elefante non era fatto per stare in prigione perché membro di una qualche organizzazione clandestina, non era fatto per sopportare la slogatura delle articolazioni e gli schiaffi né poi, con le gambe rotte dopo un tentativo di fuga nel suicidio, per capire con sollievo, in un resto di consapevolezza, che il suo povero corpo stava morendo. Ma il gioviale Elefante era nato per vivere in armonia e pace, tra gli scherzi bonari e le chiacchierate con gli amici davanti a un bicchiere di vino. Era liberale, scettico e restio alle tentazioni dell’eroismo. A mio parere, la sua morte e quella dei suoi simili grava sui Wandervögel nostri coetanei assai di più della morte di molti giovani fanatici.”
― Czesław Miłosz, quote from Native Realm: A Search for Self-Definition
“Usurpers always bring about or select troublous times to get passed, under cover of the public terror, destructive laws, which the people would never adopt in cold blood. The moment chosen is one of the surest means of distinguishing the work of the legislator from that of the tyrant.”
― Jean-Jacques Rousseau, quote from The Social Contract
“My father was taking me as seriously as the Ringolds were, but not with Ira’s political fearlessness, with Murray’s literary ingenuity, above all, with their seeming absence of concern for my decorum, for whether I would or would not be a good boy. The Ringolds were the one-two punch promising to initiate me into the big show, into my beginning to understand what it takes to be a man on the larger scale. The Ringolds compelled me to respond at a level of rigor that felt appropriate to who I now was. Be a good boy wasn’t the issue with them. The sole issue was my convictions. But then, their responsibility wasn’t a father’s, which is to steer his son away from the pitfalls. The father has to worry about the pitfalls in a way the teacher doesn’t. He has to worry about his son’s conduct, he has to worry about socializing his little Tom Paine. But once little Tom Paine has been let into the company of men and the father is still educating him as a boy, the father is finished. Sure, he’s worrying about the pitfalls—if he wasn’t, it would be wrong. But he’s finished anyway. Little Tom Paine has no choice but to write him off, to betray the father and go boldly forth to step straight into life’s very first pit. And then, all on his own—providing real unity to his existence—to step from pit to pit for the rest of his days, until the grave, which, if it has nothing else to recommend it, is at least the last pit into which one can fall.”
― Philip Roth, quote from I Married a Communist
“Not having a moustache, he was in the habit of twirling his eyebrows. “Why do you keep twirling your eyebrows?” a young lady asked him one day. “We all twirl the hairs we have, depending on our age and sex,” Tito replied. The young lady thought him very witty and fell in love with him. She”
― Pitigrilli, quote from Cocaine
Racconti
Plath: Poems
The Girl Savage
Dangerous
More Than Water
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