Hot Six

If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her." Ranger

Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car has protective qualities" You mean like a guardian angel?" I mean, like, it has seatbelts

Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.

The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.

Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.

Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week." Carl Costanza - Hot Six

I’m going back to bed,” Grandma said when Mooner and Dougie left. “This doesn’t look too interesting. I liked it better the other night when you were on the floor with the bounty hunter.” Morelli gave me the same kind of look Desi always gave Lucy when she’d just done something incredibly stupid. “It’s a long story,” I said. “I bet.

I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.

Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.

you see what I'm saying?" Mooner said. "Something else always comes along. You go to jail, you don't have to worry about anything. No rent to pay. No food bill to sweat. Free dental plan. And that's worth something, dude.You don't wnat to stick your nose up at free dental.

Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. "I thought you were Baptist." "Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.

Cooking wasn’t so bad, I thought. In fact, it was a lot like sex. Sometimes it didn’t seem like such a good idea in the beginning, but then after you got into it …

Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood.

His pager beeped, and he looked at the readout. “I have to get back to Deal. Do you have any secret weapons in your arsenal? You want to make any last-ditch efforts at apprehension?” Ugh. He was so smug! “I hate you,” I said. “No, you don’t,” Ranger said, kissing me lightly on the lips. “Why did you agree to meet me?” Our eyes locked for a moment. And then he cuffed me. Both hands behind my back.

Not that I've noticed." She looked down at my gun. "What a nice Glock. My sister carries a Glock, and she just loves it. I was thinking about trading in my .45, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My dead husband gave it to me for our first anniversary. Rest his soul.

Nice tackle, babe,” he said. And then he kissed me. No doubt about the intention this time. Not the sort of kiss you’d give your cousin, for instance. More like the sort of kiss a man would give a woman when he wanted to rip her clothes off and give her a reason to sing the Hallelujah Chorus.

Oh boy,” Lula said when she saw me. “Think we got a good story walking in the door, here. What’s with the handcuff?” “I thought it would look good with the cheese balls in my hair. You know, dress up the outfit.” “I hope it was Morelli,” Connie said. “I wouldn’t mind being cuffed by Morelli.” “Close,” I said. “It was Ranger.” “Uh-oh,” Lula said. “Think I just wet my pants.” “It wasn’t anything sexual,” I said. “It was … an accident. And then we lost the key.” Connie fanned herself with a manila folder. “I’m having a hot flash.

Steph?” “Huh?” I still had my hands on his stomach, and I could feel him laughing. “I can smell something burning, babe. You must be thinking.” It wasn’t my brain that was on fire. I felt around a little with my fingertips. He shook his head. “Don’t encourage me. This isn’t a good time.” He removed my hands from his stomach and took another look at the cuts. “How did this happen?

He slid an arm around me and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his chest, and he nuzzled my hair and kissed me just above the ear.

How did you know I was out with Bob? What are you, psychic?” “Nothing that exotic. I called, and your grandma told me you were walking the dog.” “Gee, that’s disappointing. Next thing you’ll be telling me you aren’t Superman.” Ranger smiled. “You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me.

OKAY, SO HERE’S the thing. My mother’s worst fear has come true. I’m a nymphomaniac. I lust after a lot of men. Of course, maybe that’s because I don’t actually actually have sex with any. And some of my lustings probably aren’t

RANGER HAD BEEN Special Forces, and he still had the build and the carriage. He was standing close, forcing me to tip my head back ever so slightly to look into his eyes.

I walked him to the door. “Is there anything else you want me to do? Check your mail? Water your plants?” “My mail is being forwarded to my lawyer. And I’m watering my own plants.” “So, you feel safe in the Batcave?” The corners of his mouth curved into the hint of a smile. He leaned forward and kissed me at the base of my neck, just above my T-shirt collar. “Sweet dreams.” Before he left, he said good-night to Grandma, who was still in the kitchen. “What a nice, polite young man,” Grandma said. “And he’s got an excellent package.” I went straight to her closet, found the bottle of booze, and dumped some into my cocoa.

His hands still held the windbreaker, his knuckles resting lightly on my breasts. An act of intimate possession more than of sexual aggression.

My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.

I want you to leave the guns in the car.” “These are Trekkies we’re dealing with. They could put the Vulcan death grip on us.

I don't think I'm especially homophobic, but I draw the line at Batman.