Nobody's Baby But Mine

I married a damned cereal killer

She glared at him. "You're doing it again." "What?" "That thing that irritates me." "Smiling?" "Yes. That.

No marshmallows. "I don't believe this! I'm going to write the president of General Mills! Don't they have any quality control?" "I'm sure it's just a fluke" "Doesn't make any difference whether it's a fluke or not. It shouldn't have happened. When a person buys a box of lucky charms he's got expectations

Give me those keys.” “I will not!” “You win, Professor. I’ll buy you a car. Now give me the damn keys.” “I have a car.” “A real car. A Mercedes, a BMW, whatever you want.” “I don’t want a Mercedes or a BMW.” “That’s what you think.” “Stop bullying me.” “I haven’t even started.

You were the best birthday present I ever got." "Thank you." "I wanted to give you something back, but I've got to warn you that it's not half as good as my present. Even so, you have to keep it." "All right." He draped the pink bow around his neck and grinned. "Happy birthday, Rosebud.

I knew it! I knew you'd hate my body!" She slammed her hands on her hips, marched over to the bed, and glared down at him. "Well, for your information, mister, all those cute little sex kittens in your past might have had perfect bodies, but they don't know a lepton from a proton,and if you think that I'm going to stand here and let you judge me by the size of my hips and because my belly's not flat, then you're in for a rude awakening." She jabbed her finger at him. "This is the way a grown woman looks, buster! This body was designed by God to be functional, not to be stared at by some hormonally imbalanced jock who can only get aroused by women who still own Barbie dolls" "Damn. Now I've got to gag you." With one swift motion, he pulled her down on the bed, rolled on top of her, and covered her lips with his own.

He wanted to shake her until every one of her chattering teeth hit the ground. "What the hell are you trying to say? Why did she choose me?" Jodie eyed him warily. "Because she thinks you're stupid.

Don't mess with me, Calvin. You'll only get hurt.

And put me down right this minute or I'll scream bloody murder, then do the job for real!" "I already hid all the electrical appliances, and I'm not taking a shower without locking you in the closet first.

Just because you’re rivals doesn’t mean you have to be enemies.

But even as she told herself that, she remembered the way Cal had looked today with his shirt off while he’d stood on the ladder and scraped the side of Annie’s house. Watching those muscles bunch and flex every time he moved had made her crazy and she’d finally grabbed his shirt, thrown it at him, and delivered a stern lecture on the depletion of the ozone layer and skin cancer.

And Eth couldn't help looking. It's been years since he's seen a beautiful naked woman in the flesh. I'd be worried about him if he hadn't looked." "He's a minister!" "It was a blessed event. You sure you don't want me to hang that robe up?" "You're making a joke out of this." "Absolutely not. Only an insensitive jerk would think something this traumatic was funny. Tell you what. I'll go downstairs right this minute and kill him before he gets away.

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't rightly see how somebody who claims to have had -What'd you say? One partner?-can be welled trained." He had a point. Her brain clicked away. "I was referring to the instructional videotapes my agency has all its new employees watch." "They train you by watching videos?" His eyes narrowed reminding her of a hunter looking down a gun sight,"Now, ain't that interesting." She felt a little surge of pleasure as her child lost another few points on the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. Even a computer couldn't have picked a more perfect match.

We just lost our electricity. You want to tell me what’s so funny about that?” “It’s not exactly funny. It’s more of a good news/bad news situation.” “In that case, hit me with the good news first.” “They’re both sort of rolled up into one.” “Stop stalling.” “All right. Now don’t get mad, but . . .” Smothered laughter drifted toward him. “Cal . . . I’m naked.

Cal ’s eyes reflected a weird combination of frenzy and fear as he twisted toward his father. “My God! She’s on her way to becoming the most famous physicist in the country, and she’s dumb as a post ! You are not having your baby in this house! You’re having it at the county hospital!

You’re the most important thing in the world to me. I know you don’t believe it, but I’m going to prove it to you.

My wife is so much a part of me, she’s like the breath coming into my body. I love her very much.

I married a damned cereal killer.

any good deed, no matter how small, could keep multiplying until it had changed the whole world forever for the better.

You’re about the lowest breed of human being there is.” “What?” “Right up there with the Boston Strangler and the Son of Sam.” “Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” “Not hardly.” He shook his head and regarded her with disgust. “I married a damned cereal killer.

His atrocious grammar renewed her commitment. With every one of his linguistic mistakes

You should see the way the two of 'em look at each other when they don't think nobody's watchin'. 'Bout to set your eyeballs on fire.

My God! She's on her way to becoming the most famous physicist in the country, and she's dumb as a post!

You don't fight me anymore." "That's not true, sweetheart. We've been fighting ever since you told me we had to go on this trip." "We've been arguing, not fighting. You haven't yelled once. You never yell anymore." "I'm sorry, but I just can't seem to work up a good mad at you." "Why not? Even I can't stand myself!" "Crazy, isn't it. I can't explain." She glared at him. "You're doing it again." "What?" "That thing that irritates me." "Smiling?" "Yes. That." "Sorry." His hand settled over her drum-tight abdomen. "I'm so happy, I can't seem to stop." "Try harder!

I don’t want to be a father right now; I sure as hell don’t want to be a husband. But you took away my choice, and now you have to make some of that up to me. If you