Quotes from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

Molly Harper ·  376 pages

Rating: (12.6K votes)


“Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word "bitch" is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that.
"Hey there, bitches!" I called as I came through the door. "What are my favorite bitches up to today?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“I have ways of making extra money when I need it", he said, slightly offended. "When Gilbert needed money for graduate school, I sold a kidney on the black market for tuition."

We can grow those back?" I asked.

It wasn't my kidney.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“I haven't had a lot of good, soft things in my life," he said against my forehead. "Not since my family sent me away. Apart from being your sire and feeling that pull to you, it's that goodness, that softness and warmth, along with the resolve and strength in you, that I love. Being turned hasn't taken that from you. If someone were going to design the perfect mate for me, it would be you. Even when you infuriate me with your pigheaded stubbornness and your temper and incredible lack of anything resembling self-preservation—"
"Stop describing me please."
"You're the most fascinating, maddening, adorable creature I've ever met," he said, sighing and pushing my hair out of my eyes. "So, when I seem possessive or I'm raving like a lunatic, it's just that part of me is still very afraid that I'll lose that—that I'll lose you. I love you.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours,” I said.
“I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial.
Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“He stroked a hand across my shoulders. "You know, I've never seen this agressively intellectual side of you before. It's rather disturbing and yet somehow a little sexy."

Which is pretty much how we define our relationship", I said.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men



“Are you sure about that he called off the wedding, Jolene? Sometimes Zeb misspells stuff in e-mails, and it comes across badly.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Did I just get psychically pimp-slapped by a little old lady?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“In a werewolf pack, you cannot interfere with the mate choice of a clan fellow. You cannot intentionally harm that werewolf’s chosen mate. You are not, however, required to help that person should he find himself in a life - threatening situation.
Somehow, Zeb had managed to stumble into several such situations in the few months since he ’d been engaged to Jolene. He’d had several hunting “accidents” while visiting the McClaine farm, even though he didn’t hunt. The brakes on his car had failed while he was driving home from the farm—twice. Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft.
He would never get that pinkie toe back.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“...and challenging your neighborhood to a round of competitive outdoor decorating. Because you’re not really celebrating the birth of Jesus unless your house can be spotted by passing aircraft.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“He’s practically stalking me. He just won’t let it go. He’s just being … he’s being a jackass with a flaky jackass crust and a delicious jackass filling.”
“So he’s jackass pie?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men



“To the highly organized mind, death is just another adventure.
‘That’s from Harry Potter,’ I said. ‘Dumbledore said it in the first book.’
‘Trust you to know.’” (p. 273).”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Mama Ginger came calling, to set the alarm on my biological clock. Oh, and to remind me that there’s no point to me being a woman if I never have children.”

“Well, if that’s true, I wasted a hell of a lot of money on panty hose and lipstick.” Jettie snorted.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Why is your fiancée insisting that I dress like Naomi from Mama’s Family?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“I poked him in the chest. 'First of all, yes, it was. Lacy cards and love tokens were widely exchanged even in Victorian times. By now, you should know better than to screw with me on historical trivia.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft. He would never get that pinkie toe back.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men



“So, you purchased ancient Babylonian texts, which may or may not call forth Gozer the Destroyer, on eBay?” Zeb asked.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Lace it with Ex-Lax. It will do her some good.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“He’s wearing a T-shirt that says, ‘One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.’ I don’t think I’ve ever seen a vampire in a novelty T-shirt before. Extraordinary, really.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Where do you even buy a black lace handkerchief? Widows R Us?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“If he does it again, you have my permission to break his legs and arms and make him believe he’s a rodeo clown from Walla Walla,” I promised. “We can make him call himself Slappy the Wonder Clown.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men



“See, you feel better now that you’ve hit something.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“I leaned my forehead against his. “I will repay you in unspeakable physical favors if you can erase any trace of this party from my memory.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Will you please talk to him? Have some sort of man-to-man exchange?” Gabriel cleared his throat and placed a fatherly hand on Zeb’s shoulder. “Loving family members do not aim for each other’s soft tissues.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“And in between the disturbing innuendos, there was normally a nugget of likability. Buried deep, deep down.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“I just wish I was gorgeous with a rare blood type. Then I could make men my bitch puppets.” “I’m no one’s bitch puppet,” he growled. “Yes, you are.” Gabriel laughed.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men



“Wow, you are truly master of the single entendre.” I rolled my eyes. “Do your lines work on anybody, ever?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Do I have to give you the ‘Hurt my friend, and you will wake up with my foot lodged in your nether regions’ speech?” I asked.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“I worry when I’m not called to save your cute little hind end at least once a week.” “I don’t have a cute little hind end,” I groused. “I know, it’s more medium to large, but I was trying to be kind,” he replied, dodging the Pocket Guide to Poltergeist Activity I chucked at him.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“The two of them had a strange chemistry, like ammonia and bleach.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men


“Some people should not be allowed access to the Internet.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men



About the author

Molly Harper
Born place: The United States
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“Married?" she practically screeched, not sounding all that pleased, which left him feeling a little offended. "We're not getting married."
He snorted at that. "I may have let you have your naughty little way with me for the past couple of months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to keep treating me like some dirty little boy toy. If you want to live with me then I expect you to put a ring on my finger," he said, holding up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger to punctuate his words.”
― R.L. Mathewson, quote from Perfection


“Упадок и Возвышение Презерватива — так бы я окрестил историю сексуальности во второй половине XX столетия.”
― Philip Roth, quote from The Dying Animal


“So, Hailey give you those?” Finn asked, lifting his chin and looking at her legs. He squirted some paint from a tube onto his palette and pressed his brush into it, mixing it around.
“How did you know?” Megan asked.
“I know Hailey,” Finn replied, blowing away a blond curl that fell in front of his eye. “At the Fourth of July party at the town pool in second grade, she stole my Popsicle and shoved me into the deep end. I’ve been afraid if her ever since.”
“Seriously?” Megan said with a smirk.
“I never joke about Popsicles,” Finn replied with a half smile.”
― quote from Megan Meade's Guide to the McGowan Boys


“You come up and read books?” asked Gregor. “Read them, eat them, whatever mood strikes me,”
― Suzanne Collins, quote from Gregor and the Prophecy of Bane


“I'm not the cruel type, but they are, and that's the secret.”
― Charles Bukowski, quote from Tales of Ordinary Madness


Interesting books

Batman: Arkham Asylum - A Serious House on Serious Earth
(51.1K)
Batman: Arkham Asylu...
by Grant Morrison
My Most Excellent Year
(7.1K)
My Most Excellent Ye...
by Steve Kluger
Desires of the Dead
(22K)
Desires of the Dead
by Kimberly Derting
Animal Liberation
(5.3K)
Animal Liberation
by Peter Singer
Remarkable Creatures
(35.5K)
Remarkable Creatures
by Tracy Chevalier
My Uncle Oswald
(8.6K)
My Uncle Oswald
by Roald Dahl

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.