“You have to open up to the world and learn optimism...Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“Any instructions?” Carpenter said.
“Yeah,” Shane said. “Shoot anybody who looks at Agnes funny. And anybody else you don’t like. I’m getting tired of this shi*.”
“Somebody needs a hug,” Carpenter said.
“Humor,” Shane said. “Har.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“I'm talkin' about you. Stop pretending you're normal. You're insane. Make that work for you.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“Okay, Shane," Agnes said as Brenda's clock gonged midnight. "I got Joey in the kitchen, a cop in the front hall, a dead body in the basement, and you in my bedroom. Where do you want to start?”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“Do not be seduced by those big-box come-ons, full of “complete sets” of extraneous cookware. A complete set is whatever you need, and maybe all you need is a wok and a hot place to grill your bacon. In a pinch, I can do it all with my good heavy nonstick frying pan. Besides the obvious braising, browning, and frying, I can make sauces and stir-fries in it, toast cheese sandwiches and slivered almonds, use the underside to pound cutlets, and in a pinch probably swing it to defend my honor. If I could find a man that versatile and dependable, I’d marry him.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“You got shot at and you still got me an air conditioner.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“What are we going to do with the body?" She had visions of dragging it into the swamp, whispering, "Here, gator, gator," and she made a little sound of distress at the thought.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“So, Mr. Shane, you felt you had the right to come down here and bespoil my crime scene because …” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “I thought he might need assistance,” Shane lied. “And the untoward angle of his neck did not tell you that he was beyond any earthly assistance you might render?” “I’m not a doctor, sir,” Shane said. “Neither are you a miracle worker, son,” Xavier said. “Should you find any other bodies in my jurisdiction, you will refrain from attempting to raise them from the dead.”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“Leave it to the army to mechanize an erection.” “Laugh now, funny girl,” Shane said. “That’s gonna be a bridge in about a minute.” “And that bridge can hold over sixty tons,” Carpenter said. “So it’s a strong erection,” Lisa Livia said, looking at Carpenter. “Oh,”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
“So, Mr. Shane, you felt you had the right to come down here and bespoil my crime scene because …” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “I thought he might need assistance,” Shane lied. “And the untoward angle of his neck did not tell you that he was beyond any earthly assistance you might render?” “I’m not a doctor, sir,” Shane said. “Neither are you a miracle worker, son,” Xavier said. “Should you find any other bodies in my jurisdiction, you will refrain from attempting to raise them from the dead.” “Yes,”
― Jennifer Crusie, quote from Agnes and the Hitman
Jennifer Crusie
Born place: Wapakoneta, Ohio, The United States
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“Then the bowsprit got mixed with the rudder sometimes:
A thing, as the Bellman remarked,
That frequently happens in tropical climes,
When a vessel is, so to speak, "snarked.”
― Lewis Carroll, quote from The Hunting of the Snark
“The Cretans’ more natural attitudes toward sex would also have had other consequences equally difficult to perceive under the prevailing paradigm, wherein religious dogma often views sex as more sinful than violence. As Hawkes writes, “The Cretans seem to have reduced and diverted their aggressiveness through a free and well-balanced sexual life.”33 Along with their enthusiasm for sports and dancing and their creativity and love of life, these liberated attitudes toward sex seem to have contributed to the generally peaceful and harmonious spirit predominant in Cretan life.”
― Riane Eisler, quote from The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future (Updated With a New Epilogue)
“What we do comes out of who we believe we are.”
― Rob Bell, quote from Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality
“This job made it possible for you to stay home all day and draw pictures.”
― Susan Wiggs, quote from Just Breathe
“Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, quote from Very Good, Jeeves!
Fool Me Once
Love Warrior
Marrying Winterborne
Aavarana - The Veil
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