Quotes from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever

Molly Harper ·  324 pages

Rating: (12.2K votes)


“I've never understood why people pick Noah's ark for a nursery theme anyway." Andrea said breezily...

Really", I snorted. "I mean, who wants reminders of a natural disaster, literally of biblical portions, on their baby's walls? What are you supposed to say, 'Oh, drowning sinners, isn't that precious?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“Not to be rude, but it was all pointless," I noted from across the room. Four eyes narrowed at me. "What? I said 'not to be rude'. That's like saying 'God bless them' right after you say bad things about someone. It means it doesn't count!”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“The two of them shared a look over my head. Gabriel made several threatening faces. Dick responded with rude gestures. Eventually, they looked like two inebriated mimes having a dance off.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“The best way to get over a messy break-up is to spend time with a supportive group of friends. The best
way to chase off a supportive group of friends is to talk constantly about your messy break-up.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“I wonder if it would be unethical for me to turn James Marsters? And then force him to fake the Cockney accent? And then make him my love monkey?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever



“When you’ve taken all you can, walk away. Be the bigger person. Or at least find a bigger person.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“I opened my mouth, but I just couldn't find the words to express the mishmash of frustration and plain old mad I had spinning through my head. I moved my lips. I narrowed my eyes. I made angry hand gestures. But no words came out. I started to pace, gnawing my fingernails to the quick. Fortunately, they grew back almost instantly, which meant I had an endless supply.


Andrea stopped me in my tracks by grabbing my shoulders. “OK, sweetheart, I’m all for nonverbal forms of communication, but you’re starting to look like an extremely pissed-off mime. Use your words.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“The fact that I could correctly make a reference to the Borg was probably part of the reason I was not being accepted into the Collective.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“You can't worry about the future so much that you miss out on the present.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“I hated her out of principle; and that principle was bitterness.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever



“Just wear the tank top.” “It’s not meant to—” “Wearing something on top of that is a waste of your God-given gift of cleavage,” he insisted. “It’s practically blasphemy.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“I love you, too, Stretch,” he said, giving my shoulder a brief squeeze. “You’re the sister I never really wanted.” “Nice.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“I learned never to take him into a baby store. Ever. He snickered every time he heard the word ‘nipple.’” “Well, that’s what you get for dating a giant twelve-year-old,” I told her, sitting on Jolene’s left.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“She could have had a heart attack!” Jenny insisted. “Oh, please, Ruthie’s an unstoppable force of nature, like the Black Plague or Richard Simmons.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“There was also an alarming assortment of junk food, including ready-made cheesecake filling in a tub, which I didn’t even know existed. And now that I was aware of it, I was extremely disgruntled that I couldn’t eat any of it.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever



“thought we were supposed to get her drunk and put her panties in the freezer,” Jolene said, her pretty face scrunched in confusion. “I think you’re mixing up your female-bonding customs,” I told her. “That’s ‘thirteen-year-olds at a sleepover,’ not ‘vampire boyfriend may or may not have cheated on you, but either way, he’s an emotionally unavailable asshat.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“And then force him to fake the Cockney accent? And then make him my love monkey?”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“The two of them shared a look over my head. Gabriel made several threatening faces. Dick responded with rude gestures. Eventually, they looked like two inebriated mimes having a dance-off.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“What part of ‘drinking and not talking’ did I not make clear?” Dick demanded.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“The third thing that men do to get over a break-up. Drinking, not talking about your feelings, and then what?” I said, growing suspicious. “It’s fighting, isn’t it? You set this up.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever



“I waited a beat before saying, “So, really, I’m not the craziest girl you’ve ever dated. That’s a relief.” “Your grasp of the weight of this situation is amazing,” he retorted. I shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“was prepared for one baby. I don’t know if I can handle two.” “It’s a little late for that. There’s a very strict no-return policy on babies.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“You got her into another bar fight?” Gabriel exclaimed. “You were supposed to be looking out for her, not putting her in harm’s way! That’s it. Dick, Jane, from now on, all of your play dates are supervised. Andrea, sweetheart, I’m taking you sky-diving. It’s only fair.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“Why is everyone so surprised that I have a stun gun?” “Because I’ve seen you staple your hand to a purchase order,” Andrea told me.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“ho’ was one I hadn’t heard before,” I admitted as we pushed through the door, gently popping an eavesdropping Dick in the side of the head. Dick cursed. Aunt Jettie shrugged. “You leave the TV on during the day. I’ve watched a lot of Maury Povich.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever



“Given my history with my sister, it was inevitable, really, that we would end up wrestling in the mud, beating each other senseless with pieces of foam rubber.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“And I was beginning to suspect that Andrea was slipping extra espresso into her magical mystery coffee potions because “caffeinated Jane” amused her.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“Which would mean …” “That you were absolutely, unequivocally, undeniably, one-hundred-percent right,” he said, again with the kissing. “You know, a woman waits her whole life to hear those words.” I sighed”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“The element of surprise is vastly overrated in any relationship.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever


“Hello, little baby,” I cooed. “I’m Auntie Jane. When your mama says it’s OK, I’m going to take you guys to the library and museums and movies. I’ll feed you food that’ll make you hyper and nauseous, and then I’ll bring you straight home. I’ll help you hide your first tattoo. We’re going to have a great time.”
― Molly Harper, quote from Nice Girls Don't Live Forever



About the author

Molly Harper
Born place: The United States
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Popular quotes

“Something Rich and Strange

She takes a step and the water rises higher on her knees. Four more steps, she tells herself. Just four more and I'll turn back. She takes another step and the bottom is no longer there and she is being shoved downstream and she does not panic because she has passed the Red Cross courses. The water shallows and her face breaks the surface and she breathes deep. She tries to turn her body so she won' t hit her head on a rock and for the first time she's afraid and she's suddenly back underwater and hears the rush of water against her ears. She tries to hold her breath but her knee smashes against a boulder and she gasps in pain and water pours into her mouth. Then for a few moments the water pools and slows. She rises coughing up water, gasping air, her feet dragging the bottom like an anchor trying to snag waterlogged wood or rock jut and as the current quickens again she sees her family running along the shore and she knows they are shouting her name though she cannot hear them and as the current turns her she hears the falls and knows there is nothing that will keep from it as the current quickens and quickens and another rock smashes against her knee but she hardly feels it as she snatches another breath and she feels the river fall and she falls with it as water whitens around her and she falls deep into the whiteness and she rises her head scrapes against a rock ceiling and the water holds her there and she tells herself don't breathe but the need rises inside her beginning in the upper stomach then up through her chest and throat and as that need reaches her mouth her mouth and nose open and the lungs explode in pain and then the pain is gone as bright colors shatter around her like glass shards, and she remembers her sixth-grade science class, the gurgle of the aquarium at the back of the room, the smell of chalk dust that morning the teacher held a prism out the window so it might fill with color, and she has a final, beautiful thought - that she is now inside that prism and knows something even the teacher does not know, that the prism's colors are voices, voices that swirl around her head like a crown, and at that moment her arms and legs she did not even know were flailing cease and she becomes part of the river.”
― Ron Rash, quote from Nothing Gold Can Stay: Stories


“Bridget Jones can kiss my spotty arse.”
― Jolie Booth, quote from The Girl Who'll Rule the World (Saturn Returns, #1)


“Who among us is not ever-changing? Ever evolving into someone new? Maybe someone better... or someone worse.”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, quote from Born of Legend


“Hearing pounding at the door, he rushed to put the handheld control in the blender he used to make smoothies and turned it on, thereby destroying any chance of assassins following her escape. There was just enough time to get to the other side of the room and wipe the hard drive before the ramming post broke through the door. He reached for a handful of peanuts then faced the intruders with a smile knowing that his life’s work and prize pupil were far, far away.”
― Victoria Danann, quote from My Familiar Stranger


“The expedition for the occupation of the Marquesas had sailed from Brest in the spring of 1842, and the secret of its destination was solely in the possession of its commander. No wonder that those who contemplated such a signal infraction of the rights of humanity should have sought to veil the enormity from the eyes of the world. And yet, notwithstanding their iniquitous conduct in this and in other matters, the French have ever plumed themselves upon being the most humane and polished of nations. A high degree of refinement, however, does not seem to subdue our wicked propensities so much after all; and were civilization itself to be estimated by some of its results, it would seem perhaps better for what we call the barbarous part of the world to remain unchanged. One”
― Herman Melville, quote from Typee: A Peep at Polynesian Life


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