“You can't force love, I realized. It's there or it isn't. If it's not there, you've got to be able to admit it. If it is there, you've got to do whatever it takes to protect the ones you love.”
“There's nothing worse than waiting and not knowing what'll happen to you. Your own imagination can be crueler than any captor.”
“what's your name?"
what?" i asked, squinting at the light.
your name." I reconized Dr. Olendzki peering over me.
you know my name."
I want you to tell me."
Rose. Rose Hathaway."
Do you know your birthday?"
Of course I do. Why are you asking me such stupid things? Did you lose my records?"
Dr. Olendzki gave an exasperated sigh and walked off, taking the annoying light with her. "I think she's fine,”
“Not into older guys, huh?" asked Adrian once we were alone.
"You're imagining things," I said. "Clearly, my stunning beauty has clouded your mind.”
“You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.
"Hmm?"
"If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down."
Dimitri laughted. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe."
"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade." Still smiling, he turned the radio dail. To a country station.
"Hey! This isn't what I had in mind," I exclaimed. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing again.
"Pick. It's one or the other."
I sighed. "Go back to the 1980s stuff."
He flipped the dail, and I crossed my arms over my chest as some vaguely European-sounding band sang about how video had killed the radio star. I wished someone would kill this radio.”
“By the way, my name's Rose Hathaway. I'm seventeen years old, training to protect and kill vampires, in love with a completely unsuitable guy, and have a best friend whose weird magic could drive her crazy.
Hey, no one said high school was easy.”
“Belikov is a sick, evil man who should be thrown into a pit of rabid vipers for the great offense he commited against you this morning."
"Thank you." I said primly. Then, I considered. "Can vipers be rabid?"
"I don't see why not. Everything can be. I think. Canadian geese might be worse than vipers, though."
"Canadian geese are deadlier than vipers?"
"You ever try to feed those little bastards? They're vicious. You get thrown to vipers, you die quickly. But the geese? That'll go on for days. More suffering."
"Wow. I don't know whether I should be impressed or frightened that you've thought about all of this.”
“That's pretty hot," he said.
"Punching me in the eye?"
"Well, no. Of course not. I meant the idea of getting rough with you is hot. I'm a big fan of full-contact sports."
"I'm sure you are.”
“The other problem in my life is Dimitri. He's the one who killed Natalie, and he's a total badass. He's also pretty good-looking. Okay—more than good-looking. He's hot—like, the kind of hot that makes you stop walking on the street and get hit by traffic.”
“I steeled myself for the next response. I knew it was going to be one of the Zen life lessons. [...]
Instead he kissed me.”
“I've heard a lot about you, Rose. Don't worry. It was all good."
"No, it wasn't.”
“Everyone has light around them, except for you. You have shadows.”
“It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. You can let go of the sword."
"I can’t. I can’t leave him alone. I have to protect him."
"You have.”
“Sweat isn't a bad thing," he said, leaning his head against the wall thoughtfully. "Some of the best things in life happen while your sweating. Yeah, if you get too much of it and it gets old and stale, it turns pretty gross. But on a beautiful women? Intoxicating. If you could smell things like a vampire does, you'd know what I'm talking about. Most people mess it all up and drown themselves in perfume. Perfume can be good...especially if you get one that goes with your chemistry. But you only need a hint. Mix about 20 percent of that with 80 percent of your own perspiration...mmm." He tilted his head to the side and looked at me. "Dead sexy.”
“I think you smoke them so you have something to do while thinking up your next witty line."
He choked on the smoke, caught between inhaling and laughing. "Rose Hathaway, I can't wait to see you again. If you're this charming while tired and annoyed and this gorgeous while bruised and in ski clothes, you must be devastating at your peak."
"If by 'devastating' you mean that you should fear for your life, then yeah. You're right." I jerked open the door. "Good night, Adrian."
"I'll see you soon."
"Not likely. I told you, I'm not into older guys."
I walked into the lodge. As the door closed, I just barely heard him call behind me, "Sure, you aren't.”
“Do not do that again," he said stiffly.
"Don't kiss me back then," I retorted.
He stared at me for what seemed like forever. "I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control."
"You're doing a great job," I said bitterly.”
“I should go," I said thickly. "Let me know when you want to start practice again. And thanks for...talking."
I started to turn; then I heard him say abruptly, "No."
I glanced back. "What?"
He held my gaze, and something warm and wonderful and powerful shot between us.
"No," he repeated. "I told her no."
"I..." I shut my mouth before my jaw hit the floor. "But...why? That was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You could have had a baby. And she...she was, you know, into you..."
The ghost of a smile flickered on his face. "Yes, she was. Is. And that's why I had to say no. I couldn't return that...couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when..." He took a few steps toward me. "Not when my heart is somewhere else.”
“We can't stop living because other people are dead.”
“Rose only hangs out with guys and psychopaths," said Mia.
"Well," he said cheerfully, "since I'm both a psychopath and a guy, that would explain why we're such good friends.”
“So...Mason, Eddie, and Mia went to Spokane to hunt Strigoi?"
"Yes."
"Holy shit. Why didn't you go with them? Seems like something you'd do."
I resisted the urge to smack him. "Because I'm not insane! But I'm going to go get them before they do something even stupider.”
“What do you mean 'most of the damage happened to my face'?"
She gestured to the mirror above the sink on the far side of the room. I ran over to it and looked at my reflection.
"Son of a bitch!”
“Rose? Is that you?" I peered behind him. Lissa. "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" She asked
"Ladies, ladies" he said teasingly. "No need to fight over me."
I glared. "We're not.”
“What matters is that someone—that you—know me that well. When a person can see into your soul, it's hard. It forces you to be open. Vulnerable. It's much easier being with someone who's just more of a casual friend.”
“Even Christian—the poster child for "smartass"—looked grim.”
“Adrian laughed just then, a weird kind of laugh that made my skin crawl. "Young girls? Young girls? Sure. Young and old at the same time. They've barely seen anything in life, yet they've already seen too much. One's marked with life, and one's marked with death…but they're the ones you're worried about? Worry about yourself, dhampir. Worry about you, and worry about me. We're the ones who are young."
The rest of us just sort of stared. I don't think anyone had expected Adrian to suddenly take an abrupt trip to Crazyville.”
“I have my sources." Somehow, saying I'd heard it from my mom sounded less cool. "You've decided, right? I mean, it sounds like a good deal, seeing as she's going to give you fringe benefits..."
He gave me a level look. "What happens between her and me is none of your business," he replied crisply.
...
Dimitri arched an eyebrow, then jerked his head back where we'd come from. "You hang out in his room a lot?"
Several retorts popped into my head, and then a golden one took precedence. "What happens between him and me is none of your business." I managed a tone very similar to he one he'd used on me when making a similar comment about him and Tasha.”
“It’s as though I went down to Disneyland and assassinated Mickey Mouse.”
“So, what's the big emergency, princess? You and ice-boy look fine to me, and the Nevernever isn't crumbling around us. What's going on?"
"I'm pregnant, Puck," I said quietly, and watched his eyebrows shoot into his hair. Briefly,I explained what had happened at Elysium, the oracle's mysterious appearance and invitation, and Grimalkin's instruction to meet him at the Wishing Tree. By the time I was done, Puck was still staring at me openmouthed, struck mute for maybe the second time in his life, and I would've laughed if the situation wasn't so serious.
"Oh," he finally managed. "That's, uh... Wow. That's not something you hear every day. Not exactly what I was expecting, though the entire prophecy thing does get old after a while." He shook himself, seeming to regain his composure, and glanced at Ash. "So, it's the ever so popular Firstborn Child of Doom prophecy, huh, ice-boy? How very cliche. Why can't it be the third nephew twice removed who's fated to destroy the world?”
“how valuable mass nonviolent resistance could be. The real goal, however, was not to defeat the white man, but “to awaken a sense of shame within the oppressor and challenge his false sense of superiority.… The end is reconciliation; the end is redemption; the end is the creation of the beloved community” where all men would treat each other as brothers and equals. “There are great resources of goodwill in the southern white man that we must somehow tap,” King asserted, and we must work to “speed up the coming of the inevitable.”
“Sometimes when things break, you can hold them together for
a while with string or glue or tape. Sometimes, nothing will hold
what’s broken, and the pieces fly all over, and though you think you
might be able to find them all again, one or two will always be
missing.
I flew apart. I broke. I shattered like a crystal vase dropped on a
concrete floor, and pieces of me scattered all over. Some of them I
was glad to see go. Some I never wanted to see again.”
“Where’s here, Tommy? I’m going to need a little more information than that.” ‘In the apartment, where are you?’ “Tommy, you’re right here. I can hear you…how is this happening?” I was more than a little confused. Which in itself isn’t all that difficult a thing to do. ‘We’re family now, Mr. Dad.’ “Holy crap! You can talk to me in my head? How long have you known?” I asked in amazement. ‘As soon as you adopted me, geez don’t you know anything?’ I wanted to ask him how in the hell would I know. This kind of thing usually didn’t happen to me – or any other person for that matter.”
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