Here Be Sexist Vampires

God, I loved this woman: this very crazy, borderline-homicidal – on second thought, scrap the borderline – woman.

How could you be attracted to someone who made you so pissed off that you’d considered burning their balls with a lighter?

Whether she realised it yet or not, this betting stuff and the constant conflict between us was foreplay.

Jared’s lips were suddenly at my ear. “The only vampire who’ll be manhandling you tonight is me.” “If I let you.” “You get such satisfaction out of teasing me, don’t you?” “I still maintain that you like it.

I don’t want you on the front line because I don’t want you being hurt, you insane bitch!

The wanting was quickly becoming aching. I didn’t want to be like this anymore; constantly thinking about and wanting someone that I couldn’t have but who my soul seemed to think was mine.

First I’m going to play with these gorgeous tits here, suck on these pretty little nipples. Then I’m going to fuck you with my fingers and my tongue until you come in my mouth. Only then will I slide my cock inside you. It’s not going to be slow and gentle, Sam. I’m going to fuck you hard and fast until you come so hard you scream. And do you know what you’ll scream? My name.

Shit, the crazy bitch had bitten my cock. I was a vamp so sure I liked to be bit, but my dick: hell no. But then her Sventé saliva got to work in my system as she continued to suck and, Holy Mary Mother of God, I thought my entire cock would explode. “Oh fuck yeah.” I didn’t think it was possible for her to suck harder, but then she did. Only seconds later a loud, guttural groan left my throat as I erupted into her mouth.

Oh thank God, please you have to help me!” begged the human. “She tied me up, she wants to kill me!” I arched a brow. “Is that so?” “She’s insane!” I folded my arms across my chest. “Well, the good news is, she’s totally sane. The bad news is my fiancée here is a crazy, homicidal bitch and she wants to kill you.

I suppose whipping you into place didn’t do anything for my chances seen as you obviously have an ego as swollen as a horse’s rigid dick.

We’ve been over this formation a thousand times so they better remember it or I’ll jam bamboo up their arses.

Men! If he was a woman he’d be considered a bit of a slut, but apparently because he was a male it was completely normal and acceptable.

God I loved this woman: this very crazy, borderline-homicidal – on second thought, scrap the borderline – woman.

Three breeds? Well you see, basically, you know how there are varying accounts of vampires? Some humans report us to be terribly aggressive with hulk-like strength, some report us to be entrancingly beautiful and charming, and others believe that we are actually more human-like than the stories say. Well the reason for all the confusion is that there are actually different breeds.

Butch laughed out of his nose. Not attractive, don’t try it.

Sam was spirited, and it was letting her exercise that spiritedness that got her going. Whether

You did good, you work hard. But it doesn’t end there. You’ve got goals to hit, don’t lose sight of them.

What? Who? Oh you mean that cross between a whippet and a witch. Personally, I don’t how he can shag something that looks like it’s just escaped from Azkaban.