Quotes from A Girl's Guide to Vampires

Katie MacAlister ·  374 pages

Rating: (11.5K votes)


“A compliment would be the last thing out of my mouth to a man who was so pigheaded that he could be served at a luau.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“Stay here til I come to fetch you."
I no longer recognize you in the Republic of Joy," I loftily informed him. "Our diplomatic ties are severed."
Unsever them," he growled, "or the Country of Raphael will be forced to declare your republic a protectorate."
Dictator," I muttered.
For life," he agreed.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“He looked at my lips. I suddenly found myself wanting to lick his. 'Yes,' he replied, his eyes going molten. My breath caught in my throat as he reached out and brushed a strand of hair where it had flown across my cheek. 'I believe we do have unfinished business.' 'Good.' I gulped, suddenly one big mass of tingling body parts that wanted an immediate introduction to all of his body parts. I tried to slam down a mental barrier between his mind and mine, but it did no good. The cheerleaders in my groin were setting up fundraising car washes to finance a field trip to his groin.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“Do blood clots get stuck in your teeth? What if someone's anemic; are you hungry again an hour later? Has anyone ever bitten you? If you run out of blood, do you shrivel up like a really old orange?”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“Those who play with fire should expect to be consumed by it.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires



“It was alright to be afraid of something, as long as you didn't let the fear control you.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“... you've experienced the single scene out there - it's blood test and background checks and references and 'Please pee in this cup before we can go on a date' screenings, all clinical and stripped bare of any romance.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“I looked at Raphael. He looked back at me.Several parts of me that weren't on public display brought out their pompoms and began cheering.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“Would you like me to turn over so you can see my other side?" Raphael asked.
"Would you?" Roxy breathed hopefully.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“Concentrate on the question. Oooh, interesting. I haven't seen that stone in that position before. Have you had a history of spontaneous combustion in your family?"
His eyes widened in surprise.
I grinned."Just kidding.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires



“I love you and that means I'm stuck with you no matter how badly you treat me.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“No, Joy, you just think gin makes you brilliant. Gin makes you sotted. Chocolate makes you brilliant.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“You really do think you're the cat's pajamas, don't you?" I asked Raphael, annoyed with his arrogance.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“Why aren't you at your booth?" "She ran out of bats' testicles and hares' anuses," I piped up.
"Is it anuses or ani?" Roxy asked in an aside, looking perplexed. "You say octopi, don't you? Shouldn't more than one hare's anus be ani?”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


“I don't mind feeling cherished and wanted and protected, but Raphael - and Christian - were going overboard.

'What we have here is a rampant case of alpha male-itis,' I announced, glaring at Raphael. He raised one sleek brow in a 'Who? Me?' question. 'Well, guess what? I've suddenly become an alpha female, and that means I don't have to take any crap from either of you.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires



“It hurts me, but I’ll live. I just want you to know that, despite the pain I feel because I know I’m not as important to you as you are to me, I will still be here for you. I love you, and that means I’m stuck with you no matter how badly you treat me.”
― Katie MacAlister, quote from A Girl's Guide to Vampires


About the author

Katie MacAlister
Born date March 15, 2018
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“So that is over, think I to myself; so that is over too! Not because she thinks me dull; not because she has altered—no, not for any of these things, but because I see now that it has all been in vain. —I have been running about and about; I have knocked again at all the doors of my youth and desired to enter in there; I thought, surely it must admit me again, for I am still young and have wished so much to forget; but it fled always before me like a will-o’-the-wisp; it fell away without sound; it crumbled like tinder at my lightest touch. And I could not understand. —Surely here at least something of it must remain? I attempted it again and again, and as a result made myself merely ridiculous and wretched. —But now I know. I know now that a still, silent war has ravaged this country of my memories also; I know now it would be useless for me to look farther. Time lies between like a great gulf; I cannot get back. There is nothing for it; I must go forward, march onward, anywhere; it matters nothing, for I have no goal.”
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