A Girl's Guide to Vampires

A compliment would be the last thing out of my mouth to a man who was so pigheaded that he could be served at a luau.

Stay here til I come to fetch you." I no longer recognize you in the Republic of Joy," I loftily informed him. "Our diplomatic ties are severed." Unsever them," he growled, "or the Country of Raphael will be forced to declare your republic a protectorate." Dictator," I muttered. For life," he agreed.

He looked at my lips. I suddenly found myself wanting to lick his. 'Yes,' he replied, his eyes going molten. My breath caught in my throat as he reached out and brushed a strand of hair where it had flown across my cheek. 'I believe we do have unfinished business.' 'Good.' I gulped, suddenly one big mass of tingling body parts that wanted an immediate introduction to all of his body parts. I tried to slam down a mental barrier between his mind and mine, but it did no good. The cheerleaders in my groin were setting up fundraising car washes to finance a field trip to his groin.

Do blood clots get stuck in your teeth? What if someone's anemic; are you hungry again an hour later? Has anyone ever bitten you? If you run out of blood, do you shrivel up like a really old orange?

Those who play with fire should expect to be consumed by it.

It was alright to be afraid of something, as long as you didn't let the fear control you.

... you've experienced the single scene out there - it's blood test and background checks and references and 'Please pee in this cup before we can go on a date' screenings, all clinical and stripped bare of any romance.

I looked at Raphael. He looked back at me.Several parts of me that weren't on public display brought out their pompoms and began cheering.

Would you like me to turn over so you can see my other side?" Raphael asked. "Would you?" Roxy breathed hopefully.

Concentrate on the question. Oooh, interesting. I haven't seen that stone in that position before. Have you had a history of spontaneous combustion in your family?" His eyes widened in surprise. I grinned."Just kidding.

I love you and that means I'm stuck with you no matter how badly you treat me.

No, Joy, you just think gin makes you brilliant. Gin makes you sotted. Chocolate makes you brilliant.

You really do think you're the cat's pajamas, don't you?" I asked Raphael, annoyed with his arrogance.

Why aren't you at your booth?" "She ran out of bats' testicles and hares' anuses," I piped up. "Is it anuses or ani?" Roxy asked in an aside, looking perplexed. "You say octopi, don't you? Shouldn't more than one hare's anus be ani?

I don't mind feeling cherished and wanted and protected, but Raphael - and Christian - were going overboard. 'What we have here is a rampant case of alpha male-itis,' I announced, glaring at Raphael. He raised one sleek brow in a 'Who? Me?' question. 'Well, guess what? I've suddenly become an alpha female, and that means I don't have to take any crap from either of you.

It hurts me, but I’ll live. I just want you to know that, despite the pain I feel because I know I’m not as important to you as you are to me, I will still be here for you. I love you, and that means I’m stuck with you no matter how badly you treat me.