The Queen of Zombie Hearts

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you.

Roses are red Violets are blue Be very afraid We're coming for you.

I put the fun in funeral.

My Zombie Ate Your Honor Student

Let’s play a little game I like to call Cole’s in Charge and Ali’s Not.

I agree with you. Now let’s put on our big-girl panties and go convince Mr. Always Right that he’s seriously wrong.

Gavin has started calling you the queen of zombie hearts,” Cole said. “And you know what, he’s right. It fits. Before you, I wasn’t really living. I was existing. Moving from girl to girl. Killing zombies. I was as good as dead, but you brought me back to life. And you are most definitely the queen of my heart.

―get a reward for surviving,” Kat was saying. “You can start by taking off all you clothes and―” “I don’t need to hear this, Miss Parker,” Mr. Ankh snapped. “―showering,” she finished. “Alone. Of course. I like my men clean.

I'm usually a big fan of sexual tension, but this is like an X-rated kindergarten class, with two little jerks crushing on each other, both too stupid to admit it out loud.

So you owe me.” “Exactly. I pay in kisses.” “Good thing I accept that currency.

Cole,” she said, batting her lashes at him. “I’m seconds away from bringing your penis into this conversation. Are you sure you want to stick around for that?” He sighed. “You’re about to threaten it, aren’t you?” A new round of laughter from the girls. “Threaten?” Kat shook her head. “No, darling Cole. Remove? Yes.

Well,” she said, getting more comfortable, “Here’s what I’ve got so far. I’m going to college and getting a Ph.D. in being awesome. That’s a thing, right? Everyone will call me Dr. Kitten and pay me megabucks to diagnose all their problems. Because, of course, I will have all the answers.

Fact: life is a giant classroom and every day is an opportunity to learn something new. Fact: you have to be prepared for pop quizzes, because they can come from anywhere or anyone. Also fact: I wished I'd called in sick today. What I learned from professor Frosty? How to properly boost cars. The guy could do wicked things with a single piece of wire. "I'm a criminal now," I lamented as we soared down the highway. Killing in self defense didn't count. "I'm an accomplice. A thief." "Actually," he said smoothly, "you're a freelance valet. All you're doing is moving a car from one location to another. There's nothing wrong with that, now, is there?

So, yeah, I kind of wanted to claw her face off and spit in her skull. Graphic much? Straitlaced Ali piped up. Not graphic enough, Bloodthirsty Ali quipped. Hello, new personalities. So nice to meet you.

At least my balls are bigger than yours,” she sneered, shocking me. O-kay. Not so lost anymore. “You sure about that?" Gavin sneered right back, and I couldn’t be sure, but it kind of looked like he was fighting a…smile? “Take off your pants and show me.” “The only way I’ll ever take off my pants in your presence is to use the material to choke you to death.

And I know, sometimes storms were necessary. Even flowers needed to be watered. But... yeah.

Does Cole know you're made of ice?" "Yes. He likes to melt me.

So," Frosty said as we stood. "I have to ask a personal question, because our next move hinges on your answer." I tensed, unsure about what he could possibly want to know. "Ask." "How do you feel about stealing cars?

Another blond boy came tearing from the opposite direction. “Can’t find Smith. But I see you found my cupcake.” “Mine,” Cole snapped. Uh, was the cupcake supposed to be me? Because it was a weird nickname for a supposed enemy.

You know I think you hung the moon, right?” “Right. Just like I know you held the ladder and looked up my skirt.

Come on, Barbie. Please. Do it for your favorite cupcake.

Yeah, but you’re a girl. The braver species.

Dude. Did you notice how many people were here? Tons!” Kat exclaimed. “I put the fun in funeral.

For the second time this week, I felt like Alice in Wonderland, about to fall down a pit, a new adventure forced upon me.

You familiar with prison rules, Ali-gator?" Stupid nicknames. They were the equivalent of verbal fungus. You couldn't ever get rid of them.

Always blame the guy,” she said.

I know girls want what they can’t have, and they want to be the special exception responsible for taming the boy no one else can, even though they probably won’t be.

Please tell me you aren’t one of those people who subscribes to the ‘say something nice or stay silent’ philosophy.