Creatures of a Day: And Other Tales of Psychotherapy

Whether I will live a long time or a short time, I’m alive now, at this moment. What I want is to know that there are other things to hope for besides length of life. What I want to know is that it isn’t necessary to turn away from thoughts of suffering or death but neither is it necessary to give these thoughts too much time and space. What I want is to be intimate with the knowledge that life is temporary. And then, in the light (or shadow) of that knowledge, to know how to live. How to live now.

As Nietzsche said, “If we have our own ‘why’ of life, we shall get along with any ‘how.

All of us are creatures of a day; the rememberer and the remembered alike. All is ephemeral—both memory and the object of memory. The time is at hand when you will have forgotten everything; and the time is at hand when all will have forgotten you. Always reflect that soon you will be no one, and nowhere.

if it weren’t for errant passion, death, despair, and loss, the great bulk of art would never have been born.

What has been given is a new perspective on living life, and what has been taken away is the illusion of limitless life and the belief in a personal specialness exempting us from natural law.

All I can do in one session is to be real, to leap into the patient’s life, to offer observations in the hope that he’ll be able to open doors and explore some new parts of himself in his ongoing therapy.

I’m not ready for a committed relationship with anyone and that I have a ton of work to do on myself.

My work is to love my body, all of it. Whole and entire. The whole aging mortal troublesome failing miraculous intricate breathing doomed cancerous warm mortifying unreliable hard-working imperfect beautiful appalling living struggling tender frightened frightening living dying living breathing temporary wondrous mystifying afflicted mortally-ill assemblage of the atoms of the universe that is my self, is me, for this space of time.

sex as the vital antagonist to death—isn’t the orgasm the primal spark of life? I know of many instances in which sexual feelings arise in order to neutralize fears of death.

It’s often pretty hard to speak to others about my cancer. I have a number of pet peeves. Many folks are overly solicitous. They can’t do enough for you. There’s that Kaiser nurse who keeps asking “Isn’t there someone who can drive you here?” And some people are too prying. I think they are voyeuristic and attempt to satisfy their morbid curiosity about having cancer. I don’t like that and have sometimes wanted to say, “Go get your own damn fatal illness.

All is ephemeral—both memory and the object of memory. The time is at hand when you will have forgotten everything; and the time is at hand when all will have forgotten you. Always reflect that soon you will be no one, and nowhere.

I’m looking for me in you, that my hollowness makes it impossible to identify my needs and my desires,

every act is not necessarily a message about the relationship.

Too many people are overly respectful, braying, ‘You’re so brave’ and Irv fell smack into that trap. After all what’s so courageous about having cancer? Once we have it, what choice do we have? But the worst thing of all—and thank God Irv doesn’t do this, at least not yet—is all this nonsensical talk about a patient’s courageous struggle with cancer that all too often ends in defeat. How many obituaries do you see stating that so-and-so lost their courageous battle with cancer? I hate that! I absolutely hate it! If someone put that in my obituary, I’d come back and kill him!

had to give up the hope for a better past.

Als jij bij me bent, houd je me misschien vast in deze wereld.' 'Ik ben een uitstekende vasthouder.' 'Beloof je dat?' Ik knikte.

think of sex as the vital antagonist to death—isn’t the orgasm the primal spark of life? I

Always reflect that soon you will be no one, and nowhere.

Pass, then, through this little space of time in harmony with nature and end thy journey in contentment, just as an olive falls off when it is ripe, blessing nature who produced it, and thanking the tree on which it grew.

use of masturbation as a way of soothing yourself to ward off death anxiety so you can fall asleep.

Eighty-one is old, shockingly old. I’m shocked myself when I think about it. I don’t feel old, and over and over I wonder how I got to be eighty-one. I always used to be the youngest kid—in my classes, on my summer camp baseball team, on the tennis team—and now suddenly I’m the oldest person anywhere I go—restaurants, movies, professional conferences. I can’t get used to it.

if you want to feel virtuous, you must do virtuous things.

Indiferent că trăiesc mult sau puțin, sunt în viață acum, în acest moment. Ce vreau eu să știu e că există și alte lucruri la care merită să sperăm, nu doar durata vieții. Ce vreau eu să știu e că nu e necesar să evităm gândurile legate de suferință sau moarte, dar că nici nu e necesar să le acordăm prea mult timp și spațiu. Ce vreau eu e să am conștiința faptului că viața e trecătoare. Și apoi, în lumina (sau umbra) acestei informații, să știu cum să trăiesc. Cum să trăiesc acum. Iată ce am aflat despre cancer: îți arată ce înseamnă o boală incurabilă și apoi te azvârle înapoi în lume, în propria ta viață, cu toată plăcerea și dulceața ei, pe care le simți acum mai mult ca niciodată. Și știi că ți s-a dat ceva și ți s-a luat ceva. Ți s-a dat ceva și ți s-a luat ceva. [...] Era o idee simplă și totuși complexă, o idee care trebuie analizată pe îndelete. Ce ți s-a dat e o nouă perspectivă despre cum să-ți trăiești viața, iar ce ți s-a luat este iluzia unei vieți infinite și credința în particularitatea personală care ne scoate de sub incidența legii naturale.

Iata ce-am invatat despre cancer: iti arata ce inseamna o boala incurabila si apoi te azvarle inapoi in lume, in propria ta viata, cu toata placerea si dulceata ei, pe care le simti acum mai mult ca niciodata. Si stii ca ti s-a dat ceva si ti s-a luat ceva.

...Sana gelme nedenim, kardeşimin ölümünden sonra yaşadığım kaygıydı. Sosyal yaşantımın bununla hiçbir ilgisi yok. Bunun üzerine son okumu da çıkardım. " Katılmıyorum. İkisi birbiriyle yakından ilişkili. İzin ver açıklayayım. Yaşanmamışlık ne kadar çoksa ölüm korkusunun da o kadar şiddetli olduğuna defalarca şahit oldum. İşte bu nedenle, şu anki yaşam kalitene odaklanmaya çalışıyorum.