Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded

I guess this is a message for those of you who contemplate permanent solutions to temporary problems. You never know what could be coming in the future. There is so much music you've yet to hear.

I'm proud to be a work in progress.

Over the past ten years, I've processed a lot. I'm still processing. And there is more to be done. But I'm very proud of the person I am today. I'm proud to be gay. I'm proud to be a reckless optimist. I'm proud to keep learning and sharing what I've learned. I'm proud to be a work in progress.

Our society is stuck between problem and solution when it comes to treating mental illness. We cannot find a solution until we agree on the problem. And it is my humble opinion that the problem is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the misunderstood. Instead, let us seek to pursue knowledge over fear. Let's find a way to save lives that can be saved.

The path to accepting your sexuality has to start somewhere. For those identify as heterosexual, the childhood bliss of an early crush is typically encouraged and praised. Milestones such as your first date and the prom are celebrated by parents and friends. But when you’re anything other than straight, it’s more complicated; your growth gets shrouded and stunted. That’s why a lot of queer people, when they fall in love and get into a relationship for the first time, revert to a kind of prepubescent puppy love: spontaneous, impulsive, obsessive, and ecstatic. I’ve heard many people express annoyance at friends who “just came out and it’s totally cool and whatever, but do they have to talk about it all the time?” My answer to that is “Yes. Yes, they do. Don’t you remember puppy love? Well, imagine if you had to hide it for twenty years. So yeah, if they wanna gush about it, let them gush. There’s a first time for everything.

There is much in this world that hurts us, but if we let pain become our master, we live our lives as slaves.

Depression is the evangelist for emptiness.

Dealing with depression isn't about trying to run away from the feeling; it's about learning to walk alongside it.

I was just flirting with girls whom I had tingly feelings for because... well, you know... friendship.

If your heart is racing, slow your breathing. Don't ignore your body just because your mind is scared. Your mind is a tool that can bring your body peace.

There is so much music you’ve yet to hear.

I will have a deeper and personal relationship with my life. I will not have a casual fling with my life. I will find peace in that. I want to contribute to the world around me. Casual debauchery is not fulfilling. I want to send good messages and good meanings along the way. The journey is about spreading love and understanding. Not using each other. Not distraction. Tools for presence in life. I want to bond with like-minded people who echo my appreciation and awareness for them.

If you're reading this and you think that maybe you could love someone of the same gender (or nongender), all I have to say to you is this: Congratulations! You're perfect and wonderful and more alive than you ever knew. Be proud of who you are because you're already more than enough.

With our bodies we make statements before we speak, our presentation is a language spoken without words. You—and only you—get to decide what it is you’re trying to say.

The Crying Child found a Mountain where others who had suffered had gone to learn to live through letting go. They learned that one must not struggle to change the unchangeable. That the only peace to be found is the peace of acceptance.

I had everything that I needed, but every morning when I woke up, it just seemed easier to stay in bed and daydream rather than to live my dream.

A message for those of you who contemplate permanent solutions to temporary problems. You never know what could be coming in the future. There is so much music you've yet to hear.

As children, we think that whatever world surrounds us is normal. As I entered fourth and fifth grades and began spending time in the homes of other kids, my world grew. I spent a lot of time watching and thinking about the way people interacted with other people. I began to see that not all families were like mine.

Some things just take time to process, and one must have healthy boundaries of time and space in place in order to do so. Simply put: BOUNDARIES + PROCESSING = BUFFERING Buffering is that time you spend waiting for the pixels of your life to crystallize into a clearer picture; it’s a time of reflection, a time of pause, a time for regaining your composure or readjusting your course. We all have a limited amount of mental and emotional bandwidth, and some of life’s episodes take a long time to fully load.

For his sake, I’m glad he disappeared. I don’t blame him. I know it was an act of self-preservation.

Milton says, “The mind can make a heaven of hell, or a hell of heaven.” I try remind myself daily that success and failure have less to do with actual results but rather how we choose to respond to the results. You can squander success and you can overcome failure. You can flourish or you can flounder. Sometimes it’s about choosing which feelings to fight and which feelings to follow.

But that's the thing about judgment, if you give your initial opinion of someone too much weight and accept it as fact before really taking the time to really get to know someone, you risk missing out on a lot.

The Internet is a place that’s full of judgment because the Internet is full of people. People