Shiver

...he hasn't spent his whole life playing catch-up. He was born in the lead. I don't have that luxury. I swallow hard. "You wouldn't get it. You're the older one.

I don't have an inner circle. All around me, groups of friends laugh and chat. How has it come to this? The eve of the most important competition in my career so far and I'm friendless and alone.

My stomach rumbles. I need to eat something before I pass out. Summoning the last of my energy, I straighten and slop the tuna-tomato mix onto plates. Gordon Ramsay would have a fit -- it looks like dog food -- but I don't think anyone here will care.

Sadness fills me. In a different world we would be out there enjoying ourselves -- instead of stuck in here suspecting terrible things about each other. I need to get it into my head that this is not the nostalgic reunion I had hoped I would be. And these people are no longer my friends.

I turn to Odette. "I saw you land some huge nine hundreds today." Odette waves her fingers. "Not huge. I saw you grabbing your seven twenties." "I screwed up most of them." We're doing that thing women do. Putting ourselves down.

Daredevil Milla, super focused and super fit. Just as alone in the world as I am right now, but not nearly as bothered by it.

It's that time of year again. The time the glacier gives up bodies....so I've been checking the local news every morning. There's one particular body that I'm waiting for.