A Little Wanting Song

You're always saying people don't like you but people can't like something that's not there.

I'm sick of staring at what I want, I thought. I'd do anything to hold it in my hands.

I guess there are a lot of people who don't know the right thing to say. You don't notice them so much because they pretend they do.

We watch her walk into the spotlight she’s been been hiding from most of her life. Sure, friendship is all about believing in someone so hard they believe it, too. Sure, it’s about trust. But if anyone hurts her tonight, it’s about ripping them apart with my bare hands and really enjoying it.

We were the only three people awake in a world half asleep and the air felt heavy with maybe.

It's when I'm around some people that my entire vocabulary goes on vacation. Like now, when Dave's walking next to me wearing an old black singlet and board shorts and the tattoo of a bird on his wrist, every single word in my head except "no" and "huh" is lying somewhere on a beack getting a suntan

Everything in the world's got a voice; most people don't hear hard enough is all. Sunrise sounds like slow chords dripping from my guitar this morning. Sad chords, in B-flat.

Being different is the only way to live

People keep calling it an accident. That snake bit me on purpose. I've named it Sneaky. Sneaky had it all planned. I saw its face.

She looked at me with those empty eyes, and I thought, I'm going to make sure I fill them up with something.

And then we're at that moment when you both go and get what you want or you both go back. The moment when you say, Stuff being scared; what's on the other side is better. That moment when you inch closer to each other little by little, till your skin starts and ends in the same place. Till your faces get so close your lips start and end in the same place, too. Till you taste milk shake and salt and sugar days and the world spins and the stars sound like harmonicas.

I like how you shake Off years of ordinary Cover me with extraordinary Ways of seeing I never saw before But now I do

Her eyes always bothered me when we were kids. They still do. They make mine ache trying to see where they end.

Open your eyes, Charlie love,' Mum whispers. 'You'll miss out on the day.' Not a lot to miss out on, really. My days have been sort of shakey lately. Like a voice running out of breath. Like a hand playing the blues. Like a girl losing her bikini top in the pool at Jeremy Magden's final party for Year 10 last week, if we're getting specific. Mum says look on the bright side. Okay. I guess I was only half naked.

What's up with you?" "I'm grounded," I say, just to say something real. "I told Mum to fuck off." He whistles. "Why'd you tell her that? Any other 'off' leaves room for parole. 'Sod off,' 'shove off'—even 'sock off' is still pretty satisfying." "You've told your dad to sock off?" "Once. He said, 'What the fuck is "sock off"? Be a man and tell me to fuck off.'" "So did you tell him?" "No. Because that was the trap. There's never time out for good behavior with 'fuck off.

Sometimes I wish I was a guy. Life’s so much easier for them.

The End of Her She’s sitting on the hill Hoping for a day When her dreams don’t hit the road She’s throwing rocks and yelling At the sky and at the weather She’s yelling at forever That’s been breathing on her neck She can’t start with him again He’s got the end of her He can’t give her ocean And he can’t give her her He’s staring where she sat It’s the plastic that reminds him Of something that they had He says, “I’d give up sex forever If she’d say we’re back together” But he’s making promises he knows It’d kill them both to keep She can’t start with him again He’s got the end of her He can’t give her ocean And he can’t give her her

I didn’t say you weren’t smart. I said you were stupid.” “I guess I’m too dumb to see the difference.

It’s when I’m around some people that my entire vocabulary goes on vacation. Like now

Hi," I call as he walks out. "Hi, Rosie. I told Charlie we were camping before New Year's." I think about that for a second. "You told her we were going, or you invited her to come?" "Shit,

I looked up from that other place and saw Dave staring through the glass. I thought: That guy is a little gratitude, world peace, a new acoustic guitar, a bass guitar and hands that play like Flea, and the single "Break Your Heart" all at once. He smiled and waved. I'm sick of staring at what I want, I thought. I'd do anything to hold it in my hands.

I know a few things about ghosts. The only way to stop them getting inside you is to spend every second of the day thinking about something else. Fighting like that makes you tired, and it doesn't matter how hard you fight anyway. They chip till they make a crack, and before you know it there's a ghost squatter in your living room. It's hard to get them out. Hard because they settle in. Hard because you like the company.

She looks at me and at Dave. She looks out the curtain and strums her guitar. "Yeah," she says. "Oh yeah. This I can do.

Tell me about the sharks, Rosie," Dave said, trying to cheer me up. "Well, you can't tell how dangerous they are from their size. That's all wrong. The big ones don't always feed on meat." "How do you tell a dangerous one?" he asked. "Their teeth." "So what, you ask them to smile?" "If you're stupid enough to come close and see them smile," I said, thinking of Luke, "then you deserve everything you get.

Who's this?" Dad asks when a catchy tune comes on the CD mix I made for the trip. We pass the skeleton tree that never has leaves, no matter what the time of year. Bare gray branches wave us on. "No one you know Dad," I say. It's me.

I feel like Luke and I are on an island that's sinking and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I can swim, though. If Luke can't, then it's too bad. He's had sixteen years to learn.

I look up after the last chord and smile. I tell Antony Barellan to shove it up his arse, and I see Dad clapping his hands off. I give him a little wave to show him that it's okay to be happy. I give him a little smile to show him what it looks like.

It takes a lot of wanting to get out of a place like this, though. It takes wanting so bad it's all you care about, all you dream about, all you breathe. Some days I think it takes more wanting that I've got.

They can't see me but I can see them. I don't stand because I've been standing all morning. Plus, this is my small protest against Luke and Rose. I can't serve you if I don't exist. Get lost in that existential dilemma.