“Well, then, Otter, of course I don’t like Bundt cake. It has eggs in it. Baby chicken eggs. You don’t see chickens standing outside of maternity wards waiting to get our babies to make their Bundt cake, do you?”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“I think you are seriously overestimating my dancing abilities. My kind of dancing usually ends up on the Internet, where people watch it so they can stop feeling sorry about their own lives. You know how people say they have two left feet? It's like I have no feet and my stumps are attached to wheels shaped like triangles.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Round 5: Telling him I felt bad about the puppy-shirt thing, I told him
we could go pick out a dog at the pound now that we had a yard for it.
Instead, I took him to the dentist. Winner: Bear “Rock Star” McKenna.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“... it's not about where you come from. It's about who you are”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Wait until you meet the therapist.
That bad?
Let's just say i can't believe he's a real person.
Like Santa Claus?
More like if Santa Claus and Ron Jeremy had a child and then that child had a child with Richard Simmons.
So, like a leprechaun?
Yes, Otter, exactly like a leprechaun.
I'm going to tell him I believe in Santa Claus, just to see what happens.
I dare you.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Nothing's too fast if it means forever.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Otter pulls me up to the bar and leans over. “What’s wrong? You stink!”
he shouts.
I glare at him. “I smell fine, you asshole. I used your cologne.”
He rolls his eyes and comes closer, his lips against my ear. I shiver. “I
said, what do you want to drink?”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Dammit. I hate it when my crazy is right.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Why is everyone being all quiet?" the Kid asks. "Are we having a staring contest? If so, you should have told me because I wasn't quite ready yet.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“family is not defined by blood. It’s not always who you’re born to that you’re stuck with. It’s what you want it to be, what you make of it. It’s the people around you who see you at your worst and are not afraid to pick up the pieces when you fall apart. It’s the people who can call you on your bullshit. It’s tough to hear, but if you do hear it, it means that someone gives a damn about you and chances are you should probably listen. It’s the people who look at you each time they see you like they haven’t seen you in years. It’s the people who you fight for. It’s the people you’d lay down your life for. It’s the scariest thing in the world, but, if you let it, it’s also the greatest. If I could have you remember anything from our time together, it would be that it’s not about where you come from. It’s about who you are.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Wait till it’s my turn to tell the story! They’ll be like ‘Bear who?”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Yeah, ’cause you were so quick to speak up earlier? it mocks. What’s that one guy’s name again? The one who is your heart and soul? Octavius? Othello? Bah. I can’t be bothered to remember, either. How interesting, your hypocrisy.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“I sit up straighter and puff out my chest a little bit, unsure why I'm doing so even as I do it. I know when I speak I'll have dropped my voice an octave to make myself seem more manly, and when I shake he hand, my grip will be tight and strong. Stupid, I know, but I'm a guy. It's what we do.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Because you’re worried, Bear. And it makes me nervous. You know when you worry, I worry. It’s just something we do.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“I wanted to tell her how that praise had made me feel, how starved I’d felt for any kind of attention, that I’d begun to think of my teacher Mrs. Terrance like she was my friend, like she was my mother, like she would take me home with her one day to her big house that would be warm and smell of fresh bread, and there would be gold stars all over the floors and ceilings, and she would look down at me as we walked through the door and tell me that this was my home too, that I would get to stay with her forever because she loved me too. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t say that to my mother. Even then, I knew the power words had. To heal. To hurt.
So I held my mother while she cried, and eventually the tears subsided, and she began to hiccup softly, and this made me giggle, and she almost looked like she was going to smile at me, and I forgot about the house filled with gold stars because one smile from my mother was worth a billion gold stars and a billion Mrs. Terrances and a billion houses that smelled like fresh bread.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“You can only get knocked down so many times before you start shying away from a raised hand, even if it's extended in kindness.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“ 'But it's weird, right? It's like we're a gay bug zapper and all the gays keep flocking to us because they think we're bright and shiny, but all I want to do is electrocute most of them because they annoy the crap out of me with their high-pitched whining.' ”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“What, the glass is half-full instead of half-empty? Bullshit. What they don't tell you is that regardless of how full the glass is, it's filled with acid, and you'll burn your face off.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“I told myself that once I was done ripping the seagull's head off, I would turn around and give a speech so saccharine that even Eddie wouldn't be able to console them when I was finished. I would destroy them, and they would drown in an ocean of their tears.
But first the seagull.”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“ 'He'll probably end up angling for a threesome. Then I'll have to get my animal name so I can be a part of the group. So Native American of you white boys. I'll probably go for something like Falcon. Or Wolf.'
'Jackass suits you better,' Anna intones. ”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
“Creed looks like Santa barfed Christmas presents in his lap (excited and disturbed all at the same time, natch).”
― T.J. Klune, quote from Who We Are
T.J. Klune
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“There was an old Taoist who lived in a village in ancient China, named Master Hu. Hu loved God and God loved Hu, and whatever God did was fine with Hu, and whatever Hu did was fine with God. They were friends. They were such good friends that they kidded around. Hu would do stuff to God like call him "The Great Clod." That's how he kidded. That was fine with God. God would turn around and do stuff to Hu like give him warts on his face, wens on his head, arthritis in his hands, a hunch in his back, canker sores in his mouth and gout in his feet. That's how He kidded. That God. What a kidder! But it was fine with Hu.
Master Hu grew lumpy as a toad; he grew crooked as cherry wood; he became a human pretzel. "You Clod!" he'd shout at God, laughing. That was fine with God. He'd send Hu a right leg ten inches shorter than the left to show He was listening. And Hu would laugh some more and walk around in little circles, showing off his short leg, saying to the villagers, "Haha! See how the Great Clod listens! How lumpy and crookedy and ugly He is making me! He makes me laugh and laugh! That's what a Friend is for!" And the people of the village would look at him and wag their heads: sure enough, old Hu looked like an owl's nest; he looked like a swamp; he looked like something the dog rolled in. And he winked at his people and looked up at God and shouted, "Hey Clod! What next?" And splot! Out popped a fresh wart.
The people wagged their heads till their tongues wagged too. They said, "Poor Master Hu has gone crazy." And maybe he had. Maybe God sent down craziness along with the warts and wens and hunch and gout. What did Hu care? It was fine with him. He loved God and God loved Hu, and Hu was the crookedest, ugliest, happiest old man in all the empire till the day he whispered,
Hey Clod! What now?
and God took his line in hand and drew him right into Himself. That was fine with Hu. That's what a Friend is for.”
― David James Duncan, quote from The River Why
“Still, I never really mind bad service in a restaurant. It makes me feel better about not leaving a tip.”
― Bill Bryson, quote from The Lost Continent: Travels in Small Town America
“How cold and foreign this city seemed, that even death could pass unnoticed.”
― Kristen Simmons, quote from Article 5
“You are speaking...as if the pleasure were one thing and the memory another. It is all one thing... what you call remembering is the last part of the pleasure.”
― C.S. Lewis, quote from Out of the Silent Planet
“When it comes to memories, the good and the bad never balance.”
― Jodi Picoult, quote from Handle with Care
Gone, Gone, Gone
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