Again, But Better

Shane. Interesting name for a girl,” he teases. I narrow my eyes. “Pilot. Interesting name for a human.

It’s weird how we have to get a little older to realize that people are just people. It should be obvious, but it’s not.

This is for all the teens/young adults/adults who feel like they’ve been left behind. You’re not behind. You have time to find yourself and love and adventure. It’s all out there, and when you’re ready to push yourself out of your comfort zone and look for it, you’ll find it.

It’s called ‘All Too Well.’ And it’s beautiful. I love the words and the pictures they paint and the way it always tears at my heart. Do you know it?

So—why didn’t something happen?” Because of me. Because I let fear make decisions for me. Because I’ve chosen to let the world push me around instead of pushing my way through the world.

I guess they always end up making me feel like I’m not welcome to be myself.

I’ve been trying to make you happy for six years now, hoping somehow that would make me happy too, but I don’t think it’s working. You’re not really happy with me because I’m not happy with you because I’m not happy with me.

The young women in all the YA books I loved were high-school age. By eighteen, the majority of them had saved the world, not to mention: kissed people, traveled, been in a relationship, had sex. At twenty I felt like a pathetic, unaccomplished, uncultured, virgin grandma. It sounds like a joke now, but at the time, around all these people my age casually discussing all of the above, I felt so small.

You have this one life. How do you want to spend it? Apologizing? Regretting? Questioning? Hating yourself? Dieting? Running after people who don't see you? Be brave. Believe in yourself. Do what feels good. Take risks. You have this one life. Make yourself proud.

Pilot nods with a small smile. "I've noticed." "Noticed what?" I ask with a smidge of attitude. "You're bolder than before.

Scotland it is, then! That’s where Hogwarts is.

Here is hurting me, Pilot … I can’t choose us because I need to choose me. I’m not ready for this. Here, I’m still in school and I’m still dependent. I can’t break from my shit path. But in 2017, maybe I can do something. I have some money saved, and I’ll break up with Melvin and start over or something. I can figure something out there.

Where there’s a nickname there’s a bond.

I so badly wanted to read a coming of age story about someone who was 20. Someone who was still finding themselves and struggling with becoming an adult even after they hit the double decade mark.

I suck in a deep breath as I plop one foot over the line and then exhale, knowing I’m standing on both sides of the world at once.

What about lamppost?” I propose. “It’s innocent, catchy.” “Lamppost?” “Yeah, as in, lamppost will be our always.

He grins and jogs up the front steps to the door. I expel the giant breath I’ve been very aware of holding for the past thirty seconds

I mean, I’m pissed Taylor Swift wasn’t there, but I guess I’d give it an eight out of ten too.

He shrugs. “You look more like a Taylor Swift kind of girl.” “Um, excuse me,” I protest, “I am a Taylor Swift kind of girl, thank you very much. She’s marvelous.

Forcing me into a life I don’t want isn’t what’s best for me!

I watched all six seasons of Lost that summer after study abroad, and they were fantastic.

like if we got to hang with Taylor Swift and the Pope, that would be a ten.

Which reminds me, did you get to Skype your girlfriend, Pilot? Sorry I was on the phone for so long.” Time slows. I blink. Um. What. What does he mean, girlfriend?

Hey!” Babe exclaims. “Hey! Whatchya watching?” “Ratatouille!” She’s smiling ear to ear. “Never saw that one.” “You never saw Ratatouille? It’s so cute!

You have this one life. How do you want to spend it? Apologizing? Regretting? Questioning? Hating yourself? Dieting? Running after people who don't see you? Be brave. Believe in yourself. Do what feels good. Take risks. You have this one life. Make yourself proud

Is there anything more attractive than a boy doing dishes?