QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability in Work and in Life

There’s not a chance we’ll reach our full potential until we stop blaming each other and start practicing personal accountability.

Ownership: 'A commitment of the head, heart, and hands to fix the problem and never again affix the blame.

Here’s a QBQ twist for all of us: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know—it’s me!

Let's take care of the little things while they're still little.

It's better to be one who is told to wait than one who waits to be told.

The definition of integrity is this: "Being what I say I am by acting in accordance with my words.

If we have not changed, we have not learned

Remember: The answers are in the questions.

We attend too many seminars. We take too many classes. We buy too many books. We play too many audios in our cars. It's all wasted if we're unclear on what learning really is: Learning is not attending, listening, or reading. Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. It's about changing. If we have not changed we have not learned.

I saw the angel in the marble and I chiseled until I set it free. —Michelangelo

Accountable people look for solutions, not scapegoats. They blame no one—not even themselves. If a “self-critique” is warranted, they ask QBQs like “What could I have done differently?” and “How can I learn from this experience?

Effective communication is not someone else’s job, nor does it begin with being understood. Rather, it’s about understanding the other person.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know—it’s me!

Anyone who’s ever heard or asked questions like these: “When will that department do its job right?” “Why don’t they communicate better?” “Who dropped the ball?” “Why do we have to go through all this change?” “When is someone going to train me?” “Why can’t we find better people?” “Who’s going to give us a clear vision?” These questions seem innocent enough, but they indicate a lack of personal responsibility—I prefer the term “personal accountability”—and go right to the heart of many of the problems we face today. Conversely, turning our thinking around and asking more personally accountable questions is one of the most powerful and effective things we can do to improve our organizations and our lives.

Don't get me wrong, loyalty is an admirable quality. But the number of years one has been around does not automatically equate with being a good leader, any more than does merely having the title of manager or vice president. And certainly the things we acquire- fine cars, nice homes- are not measures of our leadership ability. Leadership, more than anything else, is about the way we think. It's a moment-to-moment disciplining of our thoughts. It's about practicing personal accountability and choosing to make a positive contribution, no matter what out role or "level".

Humility is the cornerstone of leadership.

Action, even when it leads to mistakes, brings learning and growth. Inaction brings stagnation and atrophy. •   Action leads us toward solutions. Inaction does nothing and holds us in the past. • Action requires courage. Inaction often indicates fear. • Action builds confidence; inaction, doubt.

no public figure is a role model for our kids. That’s our job—yours and mine. It’s a humbling realization at times, but it’s the truth. It’s equally true for all of us. No matter what our role, someone is watching and emulating our behavior and we may be influencing them through our choices and actions. Modeling is the most powerful of all teachers. The QBQ for each of us is “How can I set a better example?” Who’s watching you?

Careful. The easiest thing to spot is gaps of integrity in others.

The practice of personal accountability: We discipline our thoughts. We ask better questions. We take action.

How much better things would be if we all tried to mold and shape our own thoughts and actions rather than those of others.

You may already be familiar with the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Here’s a QBQ twist for all of us: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know—it’s me!

(Quick point: If you’ve been trained on the “Five Whys” of problem solving or selling, that’s not what we’re talking about here. Those are useful and appropriate. What we’re referring to are questions that begin with “Why” and have the “poor me” tone that leads straight to the classic pity party.) Anyone

Blame and “Whodunit?” questions solve nothing. They create fear, destroy innovation, inhibit teamwork, build walls, and prevent people from engaging.

Procrastination also increases stress. As things pile up, we begin to feel overwhelmed, which takes the joy out of our work. Bottom line: Procrastination is costly to all involved.

A client once said: “Long-range, strategic planning is a great tool, but we need to get some things done before lunch!

Questions that begin with “When” lead to procrastination.

The truth is, different people have different reactions to the same situation. Stress is a choice. Stress is also the result of our choices.