The Last Time I'll Write About You

Was I a secret not worth sharing Or Was I a fact not worth telling?

I’m not brave enough to love you The same way You’re not strong enough to take me on.

You are the dream But I’ve had wake up calls

You read these things And you ask the world, Why doesn’t it happen To someone like you? Deep in your heart, You knew the answer: It’s because you don’t let it.

I think you loved me And I loved you But we never really did At the same time.

If I could love you this much For this long — And on my first try — Then surely,   I could love someone else more Far better, Far longer.

AND NOW I’M RUINED   When I met you I’ve always wondered How I’ve never met Anyone quite like you   When we parted I’ve always wondered How everyone else Reminded me of you

This is no longer you. This is all me.

Despite everything I still thank the universe For blessing me with you As my first If I could love you this much For this long — And on my first try — Then surely, I could love someone else more Far better, Far longer.

I’m tired of missing you So I made a point to forget you But it gets exhausting Once you learn: Forgetting is just another form of remembering.

I could keep saying One more Just one more But when does it end?

Was I a secret not worth sharing Or Was I fact not worth telling?

You're the face of my youth, of second and too many chances, two clasped hands at the back of the car. I wish we could have just stayed.

Should I be Thankful Or Regretful That my only idea Of love Is You?

6 A.M. Waking up is never the same Not without your arms tangled up in mine Not without your kiss on my cheek Not without you telling me, “You look beautiful today.

I told everyone I love you Sorry if they knew before you To be fair, I think everyone knew Before I did, too.

You held on to him In that forsaken bed He’s distant, cold —   Nothing else could be said.

I liked you so much that I even dated your friends

I would like to see me in your memory Maybe then I’d understand How we turned out to be From the very best To this colossal mess

Maybe you wanted me to hate you Cause God knows I love you Maybe you hate me too Cause why else would you Walk in and out of my life Like you were in a revolving door?

I always felt like Begging for your forgiveness For the things I was afraid of For the things you couldn't fix But I realized I never owed you anything I never needed your approval I just needed to forgive myself I found myself, bent: Never quite broken, Never quite lost, Never quite yours.

Is there anything stranger As sleeping on the same bed With a man who has changed? Not in who he was, But in the way that He has looked at you.

You’re the face of change Of late nights, Beer bottles, ashtrays And ignored calls.

When I met you I’ve always wondered How I’ve never met Anyone quite like you When we parted I’ve always wondered How everyone else Reminded me of you.

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU Your hand How you held the small of my back Your fingers How it grasped mine as we crossed the street Your feet How it led us to your room The chain on your neck How it slid through my fingers as I pulled you in Your eyes How it spoke to me Your bed How it welcomed us both Your lips Oh, how it silenced my doubts.

TRUTH You read these things And you ask the world, Why doesn’t it happen To someone like you? Deep in your heart, You knew the answer: It’s because you don’t let it.