“You can only give your heart away once, after that, everything else will chase your first love”
“I think that after the first time you give your heart away, you never get it back. The rest of your life is just you pretending that you still have a heart.”
“Go be with your husband ... before he realises that he's still in love with me”
“You will remember every day for the rest of your life because I was the one and you threw me away." And then he left.”
“There is more to loving someone than just making yourself happy. You have to want him to be happier than you are.”
“I have finally accepted that there are consequences to every action. I earned them and they are rightfully mine. There is no time to make bad decisions. Every step is precious. The definition of living is mine.”
“Please don't forget me, because the possibility of that hurts more than anything else.”
“I fell in love underneath a tree.”
“I had now officially secured my front row seat on the train to Hell. Choo choo”
“He was my crack. I could never get enough, and when I had him I was already thinking about when I could have him next.”
“Olivia, you can have any man you want. Why him ? Why is it always about Caleb ?" "Because...because I didn't need anyone until I met him.”
“I was a relationship retard. I kicked, shoved, and punched people out of my life, so they never had a chance to hurt me.”
“I love you too, Olivia. More than I could ever love another soul. There hasn't been a single hour in seven years that I haven't thought of you.”
“In a sense I’m so far gone, I don‘t know what to say,” I begin. “I love you so much, and there are so many things that I didn’t get to tell you. I was so scared of the way that you loved me, Caleb.” I swipe at a tear that is leaking from my eye and continue.
“You changed everything. I was so frightened of losing you that I did everything in my power to drive you away. I thought that if I didn’t, eventually you would see that
you were wasting your time with me and leave anyway. I miss you. No, not just miss
you, my heart aches every day because you’re not there. I am so sorry for what I did. All of it. Please, please don’t forget me, because the possibility of that hurts more than anything else.”
“I was waiting for you - for years. I didn't live. I just waited for you to come back.”
“I take my first step and then my second, and right before the door closes, I look once more over my shoulder. Caleb is still under the tree, he winks at me, and I smile.”
“I’m sorry, Olivia, for hurting you,” he said hoarsely and my heart heaved in my
chest. Why was his voice so gentle? Why wasn’t he screaming at me? I was the one
who did the hurting. It was me. My fault. My sin. My mess. “You will never see me again after today.” He paused and his next words struck me so deeply I would never recover from them. “I will love again, Olivia, you will hurt forever. What you’ve done is…You are worthless because you make yourself that way. You will remember me every day for the rest of your life because I was the one and you threw me away.” And then he left.”
“Life balances itself on a precarious ledge, we can stay safe up high or propel off the edge.”
“Oh what do you know about love ? You've never cheated to have it.”
“Handsome, fictional men were so much easier to stomach than real life ones who smelled of Christmas and looked like a Calvin Klein model”
“You'll be surprised what someone is able to handle given no other choice.”
“You changed everything. I was so frightened of losing you that I did everything in my power to drive you away. I thought that if I didn't, eventually you would see that you were wasting your time with me and leave anyway.”
“After everything happened with you and me, I tried to heal. I knew that I needed to forget you and move on. I hurt so much; everyday felt like a death sentence. I mourned you like you were dead and then, I met Leah. We were set up on a blind date and I remember feeling hope that day. It was the first day in a year that I felt hope. We took our time getting to know each other, I bought her a ring.” He shot me a look to see if I remembered the iceberg.
“And then, all of a sudden I missed you again. I mean, I never stopped missing you, but this time it hit me hard. I couldn’t go to sleep for a single night without seeing you in my dreams. I compared everything Leah did to everything I remembered about you. It was like the old wound opened itself up again and I was bleeding out my feelings for you.” I close my eyes at his words. Words that I want to hear badly but that are making my heart ache so terribly I can barely breathe.”
“Can I be your favorite girl?”
“You already are, Duchess.”
“For once, I understood the Caleb mania. He was like a jalapeno, bright and smooth, but dangerously hot. A small part of me wanted to bit him.”
“She is playing games with someone who knows how to play them better.”
“Whether I'm standing behind you or facing you, the view's pretty nice.”
“Look, when you get your memory back and can divulge all your secrets from the past, we'll have a sleepover and I'll tell you everything; but, as far as I'm concerned, until that day arrives, we both have amnesia.”
“Caleb had been my imperfection, with his slightly Americanized British accent, and the way he could play any sport and quote any philosopher. He was such a mix of class and jock, romance and jerk, it made me crazy.”
“The kiss. The kiss. The kiss. It was chocolate cake and fizzy passion and goose bumps. No one had ever kissed me like that.”
“But physicians don’t really save lives, of course, we prolong them;”
“For we were not always burdened by debt, dependent on foreign aid and handouts; in the stories we tell of ourselves we were not the crazed and destitute radicals you see on your television channels but rather saints and poets and — yes — conquering kings. We built the Royal Mosque and the Shalimar Gardens in this city, and we built the Lahore Fort with its mighty walls and wide ramp for our battle-elephants. And we did these things when your country was still a collection of thirteen small colonies, gnawing away at the edge of a continent.”
“I was going to fight to keep the elusive Horde King as my own. Every beauty needed a beast, and he was mine.”
“And now, if you have anything more to ask, I can't think how you can manage it, for I've never heard anyone tell more of the story of the world. Make what use of it you can.”
“We did as we were told, staying outdoors, and not bothering Jeremy and Peter. Yet that could be
done while sitting outside the study window, where we could listen to the conversation within.
Kids who don’t eavesdrop on adult conversations are doomed to a childhood of ignorance.
Of what I heard that afternoon, I understood only one key point: that Peter was leaving the Pack.
Why he was leaving, what that meant for his life, how difficult that decision was for him to
make, all that I wouldn’t fully understand for years to come. From the tone of the conversation,
though, I knew that this decision marked the end of a long personal struggle with the issue of
Pack-hood. I knew too that this was a decision Jeremy had both known and feared was coming.
Roughly half of all Pack youth left the group in their early twenties. It was like membership in any regimented segment of human society—children stay with the group because they have to, then when they hit adulthood, they realize that they have a choice. Some, like Antonio, chafe at the rules, but not enough to consider leaving. Some, like Jeremy, disagree with many of the principles, but believe in the institution itself enough to stay and try to effect change from within. Others look around and say ‘”I don’t belong here”, and this was the case with Peter.”
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