Fighting Redemption

I’ll love you longer than the stars that live in the sky.

I have a thick skin, baby...but you're under it. You're buried in there so deep it's like I was born with you in my soul. When I'm near you I'm consumed by you--your smile, your eyes, your heart. Even though we've never been together, you've always been mine, and even if I never get to keep you, you'll still be mine.

You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, but someone smart and brave once told me that it’s always the strongest that fall the hardest. You can trust me, Ryan. Let go. I’ll be here to catch you. I’ll always be here.

Why did everyone always paint love as pretty rainbows and happily ever afters? It wasn't any of that. To love was to feel the greatest of agony, burn in the hottest fires of hell and fail the only people who mattered.

You’re all I see. Nothing holds more beauty in my eyes than you do. No one will ever love you the way I do.

I miss you. Each day hurts a little more than the last.

Every piece of me is in here.” He placed his palm flat on her chest, feeling her heart beat hard and steady beneath his fingers. He closed his eyes briefly at the beauty of it. “My breath, my heart, my life. I won’t ever leave you if you keep that safe inside of you.

I’d have given you my entire heart if you’d only asked

but it’s always the strongest that fall the hardest

That’s how I remember you. But you’re not looking at me like that now, and I need you to do that. I need you to wake up and smile at me like I’m your everything, because without you, I’m not anyone’s anything.

I can’t live without you either,” he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks, “but I’m going back. You know that, right?

Both of you share something that is so far beyond love it won’t ever die.

I’d give almost anything to wake up to that every morning.” “Almost anything.” She backed up a step. “That’s always been our problem, hasn't it?

I hurt too. For six years I fought every day not to think of you, and I lost, because every day you were all I could see. You were the best thing in my life—so sweet and innocent, and so goddamn tempting.

You can’t leave me,” he whispered thickly, fumbling blindly for her hand and taking it in his. “Can you hear me? You can’t. I won’t allow it. I need you.

War is a cold, selfish bitch, Kendall. It changes you. It makes you hard, and it makes you hurt, yet somehow, we keep going back for more.” “Because we’re soldiers,

You did too, Jake. The world doesn’t shine as bright without you in it. I miss you.

Would they only ever have those fleeting moments—the ones where you lived the briefest, loved the hardest, and burned like the devil had set fire to your very soul? They were the only moments in his life that had been worth a damn.

To be honest I can’t wait. Being here when you’re not is like another kind of war because you’re everywhere—your face, your smile, the sweet smell of you. Only it’s a war I can’t seem to fight.

Christ. He didn’t just love her, he fucking adored her. He’d give his life for her if he had to.

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go

I stayed away so you could move on.

The Army and the SAS had been his dream--his chance to be somebody, save lives, show his parents he was worth something. Being a soldier had been his escape, his flight from the demons that bound him. War is a cold, selfish bitch. It changes you. It makes you hard, and it makes you hurt, yet somehow, we keep going back for more.

That’s so far from the truth I can’t believe you’d even think it. I have a thick skin, baby,” he told her, his wide shoulders crowding her back against the cool tiles, “but you’re under it. You’re buried in there so deep it’s like I was born with you in my soul.” His eyes slowly ignited as he slid soapy hands over her hips. “When I’m near you I’m consumed by you—your smile, your eyes, your heart. Even though we’ve never been together, you’ve always been mine, and even if I never get to keep you, you’ll still be mine.

When I come back from Afghanistan, I don’t want you here. I don’t …” He paused and took a deep breath. “I’ve always said to you not to let anyone stop you from being who you need to be, and that includes me.

What are you trying to say, Fin?" Fin looked at him, her eyes filling with tears. "That it doesn't matter if you live a billion years, or just a short handful like Jake. It's how bright you burn while living them that really matters, and Jake burned so bright it hurt my eyes." Overwhelmed, Ryan buried his face in her neck, breathing her in. "You're so beautiful," he whipered hoarsly. Pulling back, he cupped her face in his hands and looked at her fiercely. "You burn just as bright sweetheart." Her eyes were wide and so full of love it made his heart ache. "So do you, Ryan," she replied softly.

I don’t want you to go,” he whispered

I want you, Fin,” he finally admitted. “So damn much I can’t sleep from it. I lie in bed at night and I dream of my lips on yours, my mouth tasting every inch you. I want to fuck you until I go blind from it and even then I don’t think it would ever be enough.

To my country, I hope I have done you proud. To my fellow soldiers, I hope I have honored you in my actions. TO my father and mother, thank you for showing me love.. To my brother Ryan, thank you for sharing your life with me, and to my sister Fin, who's saving the earth one whale at a time, don't forget to smile, because when you do, it's like seeing the sun. -Jake